As I try and find or create the patterns that I have in my head, I am amzaed by the resistence I seem to find to each idea until it is ready to be birthed into existence. They say that pulling on the shoots of a plant will not make it grow any faster and it seems to apply to my creation of the Laurene shawl.
I am desperately enjoying the challenge though. My mind is being forced to work in ways that it usually avoids. I feel freedom in trying stitches that create a pattern out of disorder.
I've been working with these twisted stitches all week and finally yesterday I swatched something I liked. The alternating pattern of knit into back of second stitch on left needle, do not slip stitch off needle, knit into first stitch on needle, slip both stitches off needle and *deep breath* knit 2tog but keep them on needle, knit into first stitch on needle and then slip them off was very comforting...but not at first.
At first I was ripping my hair out because the directions that I had for these stitches were reversed. And silly me I expect the pattern to be right. But in doing that I took me out of the picture. I was relying on the pattern to guide me when I should have been looking within.
Instead I blamed myself that I must have done something wrong and searched on the web for twisted stitches and learned a whole lot of things in the process. Now I came at the pattern with knowledge and I understood that this pattern would not work the way it was written.
And suddenly the little voice in my head said, "Now you're ready, check the updates for this book," and "poof" there it was confirmed for everyone to see...the pattern was backwards in two places.
I felt giddy as I cast on the only needles that I had with me and swatched. I watched the yarn form the pattern I had been seeking...how could something with only three stitches have vexed me so?
The spiritual "ah ha" took hold and I saw what I could not see before. Elated I took note of how each stitch twisted and turned the fabric into the image I had held onto in my head.
After a few rows of tweaking, I had my stitch. Next time instead of boldly ploding ahead when I should sit and listen to my inner self, I will be still and quiet and listen to my "inner knitter".
I say this as I begin the search for the perfect flower...a swatching I will go...