So It Would Seem

Oops, this never got published back around Labor Day.  My bad.  :)

Aries are bad at finishing things.  This is one of the things that I told you I wanted to work on in my life when we were talking about things I'd like to change about myself.

But this week I actually felt that I took some steps to conquer whatever it is that holds me back when I want to complete a project.

My sister and I began the Herculean task of seaming the blanket together.  I went back and forth on how to do it since with the carries the edges were a little wonky and came up with this:

When you have garter there are smiles, the bottom stitches and frowns, the top stitches that create the fabric. Normally when you seam, one of the ways to do the mattress stitch is to go up through the smile and then into the corresponding frown.

With my extra bit of yarn for the carry I ended up going through both of the stitches on the left-hand side and it ended up looking like this.

I'm actually very, very happy with this join.  The mattress on garter will always be a little less invisible then with stockinette by nature, but everything lines up nicely and I'm just going to let any little imperfections go. I'm going to see the forest instead of the trees, as it were.

Again, I am really happy with this join and voila the blanket is ready to have the border put on. Please excuse the ends; this is a work in progress.  :)

This week I reached out to the knitting community not once but thrice on advice on how to end things.   The responses I got were wonderful.  Each person took time out of their day to help me on my journey even though we never have met.  It is such a blessing to be a part of something bigger than myself that is full of beautiful and kind people like Ravelry.  I am very thankful to each of you for your help and without your advice I might not have been able to finish both my seaming and my Sunburst Spectacular Shawl.

Here is the shawl in all of its glory.  I just love the color progression!

It feels good to complete so many things.  :)

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

There Are No Words

Here is the batik motif all completed.  I LOVE it!  I am so happy with the way it came out.  The colors stayed true even after soaking for 8 hours.  All the wax came out really easily once I got the water boiling.

This is what the wax looks like when it rises to the top and cools.  It was easy to peel off and dispose of using this method.  When I tried to pull it off while it was hot, it made a huge mess.  I thought this picture of my sister's blue water looked like the moon.  :)

But what is amazing, incredible and just gorgeous is my Hue Shift Blanket.  All four squares are complete. Since we are doing each step together, they are only laid out here to show you what the completed blanket will aspire towards.  OMG!  This is so lovely.  I am so proud of myself that I kept up with it and got this far!

Yes, there are ends, seams and borders still...but wow that is 100 squares there!

Baby steps lead to amazing things.

We got the elliptical this week.  It is amazing!  I hopped right up and did 10 minutes before I realized it was on some crazy program with steeper and steeper inclines and I had to stop.  But it really was a smooth experience and after 10 minutes with the incline program, I was sweating.  I will do 10 minutes every other day for a week and then bump it up to 15.  I'm trying to work up to 20 minutes every other day.  I will do something on the alternate days when we get the Total Gym set up again; right now I'm just doing crunches and lunges and some other exercises for 20 minutes.

That is on top of my walking.  I have consistently walked 3000 steps now for about a month so I have bumped that up to 3500.  I know that really isn't a lot, but for me who sits at a desk most of the day, it really is.  I have to really work to get those extra steps in.  When I started the program I only was only walking 1500 and now I'm up to 3000.  I'm pretty proud of that.

When I started I was 167.  I thought the 7 was a 1 and totally misread my weight.  lol  So now the 7 is a 1 and I have lost 6 pounds over the course of 6 weeks.  I want to lose a pound a week so that this is a lasting life change and not some quick fix.  I'll be at goal in October and that is fine with me.

A scale is just a number.  I love myself no matter what size I am.  But my joints, they let me know when I'm getting over my BMI and about three months ago I couldn't barely move when I woke up in the morning. Also, I refuse to buy new clothes when I have so many nice things.  Some of my clothes had gotten a little too tight and I knew that was a sign as well.

Just losing 6 pounds has lessened the joint pain and I have so much more energy.  I have eaten under calories all month and have really been trying to insert more fruits and veggies in my diet.  It is hard when I am at a desk all day but I have found little things that really work for my lifestyle.

Today my UP decided it would start in on my fiber intake.  I'm averaging around 15% where it wants me to be at 25%.  Sigh.  Being healthy takes a lot of steps and each is like a color on my squares.  Individually they might not seem to mean much but when you intertwine them with other health-building squares you can really see the impact that they have on the body.  In this case, I am the creation.  The diamond in the rough.  The blanket of beautiful hues.  And each step, each day of calorie counting, each workout, each time I go to bed on time and all the little things I do for me, add up into a beautiful whole.

The blanket has taught me so much and it will always be a gorgeous reminder of what you can accomplish when you take a step at a time and just keep pushing forward.  In the end, you will have something lasting and worthwhile.  The journey is just as important as the goal.

What will be your first step?

Hugs!
Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

Flow

This is Laguz, the Norse rune of flow.  Laguz represents water in all its many forms.  Water is necessary for most life to thrive: it is a part of us.  Spiritually it is our emotions which course through our being like the blood in our veins.

Water is ever-transforming from vapor to liquid to ice it is every moving: ever-flowing.

If water finds an obstacle it flows around it and creates a new path.  

Water can be fierce as a raging sea or gentle like a burbling stream.

I reread my blog the other day.  What a long journey it has been!  When I started this blog I was so full of light and as I read I watched myself become heavier and heavier: much like a cloud gathering water for a storm.

I tried to stay fluid but everything just bogged me down and I had to fight to stay above water.  I lost much along the way as I also lost pieces of my self.  It hurt to write: the words would not flow and for a year I was silent.  During that time I lost my readers, my friends and my support team and now after reading my blog I see how their absence has affected me.

I am ever thankful to everyone who has or ever will read this blog.  I am blessed by the support of my internet family whether you post or not: I have always felt your love and you have helped me through some really, really dark times.  I am grateful to each and every one of you where ever you are: past, present or future.  

I feel like in truth I am back at the beginning again except with all my knitting knowledge honed through years of practice.  Lately, my life has been flowing as I realize how the spaces that have been created are really there.  Life seems much fuller now that I can take more time to enjoy it.  I can't really explain it.

It's like for a while my life seemed to be the sum of my to-do list.  I am glad that I could be whatever was needed for those that needed me:  it was a blessing to be able to provide for those I love...but I just felt like I was a walking agenda and my being was made up of the things I could check off of that list daily.

I didn't flow...though I tried.  I dragged myself to one event to the next and just swallowed the emotional baggage afraid to let it out...terrified of what it would do to me.

I can see that now.  You could follow my path through the blog and see how clearly I was so close to losing it.  But if you keep reading you would also see as I made it through each dark night of the soul I got a little piece of my self back.

And now I feel that the pieces that were strewn all over the place are back where they belong.  This doesn't mean that I don't have growing and changing to do: because that never stops.  It does mean that I feel more complete then I have in...well years.

It makes me glad that I started this blog because my friend knitnana had one.  It was a risk for me.
It was hard putting up my feelings each week for everyone to read, but I'm really happy I did.  

I need to revamp this blog.  I've ignored most of the sidebar stuff because just writing it was so hard for me. But now...well things are slowly going to change as I do.  Namaste

Back to knitting...here is the 2nd layer of the 4th block of the blanket.  I feel this anxiousness of actually finishing this summer and it makes me giddy.  :)

Here is my Niece's birthday cowl.  I finished it before the deadline...go me!  I think the colors she chose are really lovely and complement each other.  She wanted to make sure there was some pink in there and wow is that pink!

I have been so good and finished a few things that had been languishing...which means I can treat myself to this.  I've been dreaming about getting my hands into the pink yummyness!  I think it means more that I finished the things that were on my very small list first.  It really allows me to enjoy knitting on this cowl.  (I cast on 320 stitches but that is it.  I'm afraid it is just a twist of cable and pink right now and not very photogenic.)

I will only allow myself to work on it after my squares are done.  I have gotten very good about finishing a current goal and I would like to keep it that way.  There is something that happens when my squares are done for the week that really allows me to cherish the new knitting as a gift or reward that I give to myself...and that always makes me smile.

Oh, in today's crossword was the words: cowl, Oahu and picot...I feel it might be a sign of something magical and wonderful.  Hmmmmm?  ;)

Finally, our little Frost is now a beautiful boy who loves to bask in cold places.  He waits until I've moved the ice from the box and then jumps right in.  lol

Happy crafting and beautiful blessings,
Ruinwen
:)

Level of Difficulty

Everybody's life has some mythical quality. You struggle against obstacles, you fight to get to a higher level and there are great loves.

Dolph Lundgren

So here is another beautiful tier of the blanket.  I love these rich combinations of the dark fairy tale highlighted by the lighter colors. 

This week in my game I walked over a bridge and found myself in a 37 to 43 leveled area.  Suffice it to say, at level 21 I did not stand much of a chance; though I really tried.

I've felt this way for the last few years; that everything was just a little more then I could handle, but I still worked my way through it.

Now I don’t really feel that way anymore. 

I've been having trouble with eye strain and it has kept me from knitting for a lot of the year.  I don’t know if it is better or if I just decided to knit again no matter what.  Most of what I have been doing is memorizing the way the stitches feel with my fingers and then doing something else while I knit.  I’ve gotten a lot of reading done this way.  I can read or watch something but I really can't speak, while counting in my head and working a repeat at the same time unless it is straight knitting.  But give me time.  :)

My tactile sense can usually feel a mistake in the fabric.  I know this sounds a little strange, but I feel closer to my craft when I knit without looking. 

This week I completed a cute little pattern that I’ve made before for a friend.  I’ve had it for a while but the lace was really vexing me and I had to blow the chart up to use it.  I really am happy to be able to give it back to her. 

Also this week I’ve been working on a Nana’s Cowl for my Niece.  Apparently, she borrows Nana’s and wanted one of her own.  I had her pick out colorways and she wanted two variegated colorways.  I’ve never made anything with two variegated colorways.

I’m using Knitpicks Chroma.  I really love this stuff.  It is light and fluffy and soft to the touch.  It shows off the pattern really nicely and the definition is lovely.  The two colorways my Niece picked complement each other beautifully.  I’m loving making this.  The repeat is so easy to memorize that this just flies off my fingers.

They tried to trick me though; the two balls were wound opposite ways so my colorway would have started going backward.  Luckily I noticed before I started to knit!  

Wow!  3 projects in one post! 

To all the wonderful Fathers out there; I hope your Day is as special as you are!  Happy Father's Day!  

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

I Like Life!

“At some point, you gotta let go, and sit still, and allow contentment to come to you.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Three whole squares done.  Wow! 

I really like the contrast of hues in this one.  I keep thinking that I’m going to get sick of making the squares but I never do.

And really that is the problem that I've had my entire life: I think too much.

I worry.  I fret.  I doubt.  I replay scenarios over and over in my head when I’m alone.

With this blanket, I made a promise to myself to not fret or worry about its outcome.  I must admit I broke that promise when they had a sale on Brava at Knitpicks: I was afraid I’d run out of yarn so I bought one of everything and now I have a box of yarn I don’t need.

That of course, is nothing to fret about: I can always use more yarn. 

My sister and I have been doing a layer a week except when life got in the way and we agreed to put it off another week. 

When I look at this blanket I see joy, happiness, bliss and nature in many forms:  why can’t I focus on that?

This week I have been trying something new.  Every time I have a thought that is negative and I realize that the worry, fret or doubt tape is playing, I stop it.  I think or say STOP and I mean it.

Your mind gets a little confused when it is doing something that it always does and you tell it to stop with the force of your will behind it.  Of course, after that, you have a split second to fill that space with something else that is not full of worry, fretting or doubt.

I chose a line from a song.  It was simple and packed with meaning.

I like life 
Life likes me 
Life and I fairly fully agree 
Life is fine 
Life is good 
'Specially mine, which is just as it should be 

Every Christmas for as long as I can remember we watched Scrooge with Albert Finney.  It is not Christmas until I have sat down and watched that movie singing the songs with my sister.  That movie always makes me cry and laugh and even though I know the words, lyrics and scenes by heart it always touches me deeply…profoundly.

The Ghost of Christmas Present, who is singing this song in this movie, loves life.  He embraces every second that he has and enjoys life to the fullest.  He is a character worth emulating.

It is his song that I have chosen to reprogram my mind with each time it runs amok.  If I listen I can hear my Father chuckle softly and I know my Mother is smiling.  My sister’s voice intertwines with mine choosing a harmony that makes my song a little richer.  My son’s voice chimes in with a new deep baritone to broaden the spectrum of the melody.  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see my husband smiling at the words being sung.

All these moments are woven into my song and the truth of it is very clear.  Worry, fretting and doubt take me from real truth…I like life.

So what if my pattern isn’t working this week?  There is no use to fret about it.  It will happen or it won’t but worrying about it won’t change that.   Actually taking time to research stitches or swatching…now that might actually allow me to work through the hurdles of this current pattern.

The answers do not come when one is looking for them.  They come silently and creep in when our attention has been drawn away from their focus.  When our mind has shifted then the mystery unravels itself.  In that moment of discovery, it all seems so clear because we stopped and allowed ourselves to see in a way that we could not imagine before that moment.

And that is what stops the negative dialogue does for me.  It allows me to step outside of my thinking and decide if this is something that I need to focus on.  It shows me a glimpse outside the box of my original thinking and opens up a whole new way to see the situation.

Did I mention that when I do my little STOP mantra I smile?  Smiling puts a physical response in with my mental one and strengthens my body, mind and spirit connection.

This is my Peter Pan happy thought, my there’s no place like home slippers, my  

bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, my supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, my Oracle at Delphi and my Holy Grail.

Why?

Because I like life!

Hugs and happy crafting,

Ruinwen

Things

I finished yet another layer on my beautiful blanket.  One more and this square will be done.  It is hard to believe that I only have one square left after that.

When you start a long-term project like this you know that it will take a while to complete.  You are grateful for each piece that is completed and you keep plugging away at it.  But I think it is good to look back once and a while and remember all those stitches that got you to this place where you are now at.

Goals…hopes…dreams…all take time.  Sometimes it is hard to see that all that stuff you were working towards was no longer hypothetical.

But how I got here…to this place…it wasn't easy.  There were so many metaphysical squares to work through.  I lost a lot along the way and I gained some things too.

When I turn to look at my son whose voice is changing and is turning into a man before my eyes.  I can see that journey that started with a powerful and deep love between two people, has taken us here: to this moment.

Somewhere after I lost Mom and Dad I stopped worrying so much about the past or racing to the future and I have just been trying to live in the now.  Every night I take the past and the future and I lay it at the foot of the Goddess.

Regret is so heavy and does nothing to enrich one’s life.  What has been done cannot be undone.  It is a sad truth, but the truth nonetheless.  Worry is debilitating.  It cripples you and keeps you from enjoying the present moment.  It forces your attention away from the now: and the now is all that matters.

At work, I have a can of nuts.  This is not a dirty joke.  It was my Dad’s last can of the tasty treats and I snagged it from his room when he died.  I worked my way through the can and when I saw the bottom shining through I panicked.  Epic.  All out.  Panic. 

As if eating the last filbert would sever my connection to my Dad.  That if I ate that last salty morsel…he would somehow be less with me then he was before I ate it.  As if this can of Deluxe Mixed Nuts actually connects me with him…

It is easy to make a realization like that when you lose someone.  But the truth is this can has nothing really to do with anything.  My memory of him eating nuts was from some olden time round nut holder with crackers and pickers and other little tools.  Yes, he loved nuts as a treat…just like sunflower seeds and a ton of other little snacks.

A lot of life is like that.  We assign importance to things and they become so for us because of our thinking.  If I see a potato chip that is folded over or puffed up I think of Mom.  She would pick them out because she said they were the best.  I probably always will think of her when I see one of those chips.  When I eat sausage I think of the time Dad said, “The Goodyear Blimp,” and pointed out the window and he took my sausage when I looked up.  

Memories…I have so many of them.  Mom and Dad are with me because they live in me not because I have held on to their things.

I hope each day to be a little stronger and to be able to let go of things that I’m only holding on to because I have given meaning to them.  Maybe I should start with those nuts.  Tonight I will lay them down at the Goddess' feet and ask for the strength to let them go without regret or worry.  I will ask for the strength to see that things even if someone you love sat on them, ate off of them, read them, wore them or hoarded them away...are just things.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I've reached “acceptance”.

My Dad is not in these nuts or all of the things I surrounded myself with when he died.  Throwing away his toiletries is not in any way disrespecting him.  I haven’t lost him or betrayed him if I weed through and get rid of the things that have no real connection to him now…my father lives in me and nothing can take that away.

As I said before there was a moment when I realized that all these things that he held, touched and cherished were only special because he had animated them with his strong spirit. 

There are things that I will keep regardless and they have deep meaning to me in some way.  I haven’t created a connection to them; the link to my Dad is there.  For instance when Dad let me wear his dog tags for my M*A*S*H party I was really touched.  I knew how special and irreplaceable those were to him and that he let me actually wear them was a gift beyond measure.  I wore them a lot after he died under my shirt like he must have done throughout WWII.  Right now they are on my altar by his picture just like my Mom’s favorite bracelet is sitting by her picture…and she is even wearing it in that picture.  These things are more then the sum of their parts because they contain memories.

This can of nuts; not so much.

Even so, simple gestures like these are not easy and they take time to be able to perform; but in the end letting go of the things that have no real meaning makes room for more things that do.  

Deep breath...bye bye nuts.

I love you Daddy.

On this Memorial Day I remember you and all those who fought and continue to fight for our freedoms that we enjoy.  I will wear your dog tags with pride for all the years you served in WWII.

There is a yellow ribbon on a tree outside our house for all the families who wait for their loved ones to return.  My prayers go out to every military family.  I cannot sum up the words of gratitude I feel towards these men and women who serve every day...they are all heroes.

Blessed be,

Ruinwen

:)

It Doesn't Add Up

Progress on the blanket was had this week.  I completed two whole layers since I was woefully behind my sis and needed to catch up.  This proved to me what I could accomplish if I just tried a little bit harder.  I was able to knit despite my migraine and other distractions, which was nice.  It felt good to accomplish something.

I have been trying to write a pattern and failing.  I swatched for about 2 good hours until I realized that my previous idea would not work with my current project idea.  Flat vs round, cowl vs shawl: I couldn't get anything to work.

One pattern was a repeat of 5 +2 which meant that my border which was a repeat of 11 allowed for the casting on of 77, 154 or 231 stitches.  This looked like it would work on paper but this pattern grows each round and I would lose that magic "divisible by 11" number.

For whatever reason, I can't just "create" something.  There has to be a reason, an inspiration, or some kind of aha moment.

I thought that I knew what that was.  I can see it so clearly in my head but I can't bring it forth.  The math won't add up.

I have let it be this week to work on the blanket squares.  But I need to come up with a new class for next month and I'm running out of time.

So yeah, that's where I'm at and it is frustrating but each pattern has its own process and I just have to wait for something to make sense or be revealed.

I'm not going to force it, because that just doesn't work.

I have folders of patterns that didn't work just waiting for something to make sense so I can create them. The way I see it they are just like little plants that haven't bloomed yet.  You know that whole Mulan thing: the flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful of all.  I don't see them as failures.  I don't see this as a failure...and isn't that just all mature of me and all?

But I still need to come up with a class and my head is killing me so I think for now I will just do some questing in ESO with my family and see changing my mental track helps me come up with something new.  Here is a picture of my Dark Elf Healer that I play with my family.  My DH made her armor and I just love it!

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

He Ran Over A Slip Resistant Ninja

Okay, I know that you are wondering what that title means and I really wish that I could help you with that. I was using Youtube to watch a knitting technique and I decided to try the button that places captions on the screen and he ran over a slip-resistant Ninja was the explanation for the stitch being performed.

One, this made me definitely want to make sure if I ever put anything up on Youtube that my captions matched my words and Two...it made me think about how things can be said but we hear them differently.

If a friend says, "You look great in that skirt," one will reply based on their personal assessment of the situation. If they handle complements well, it might be something like this, "Thanks, I just love this color on me."  If they handle complements badly, "Really, I think it is way too tight."  If they already had decided how they felt about it, "I knew this skirt would look horrible on me, you don't have to lie to me."

One of the spiritual seeds I planted this year was motivation.  True motivation is an amazing thing.  It can get you up in the morning with a smile and have you looking forward to working on goals.  It can help you move forward on things done that you've been stuck on.  It can help you walk those last 100 steps to achieve your step count.  It can stop you from eating more than a portion of food.  The ability to go forward is a powerful thing.

But how does welcoming in the spirit of motivation....motivate me if the voice I hear is for instance, full of Ninjas?  Hearing our true inner voice without coating it in doubt, worry, fear or uncertainty is truly something one must learn to do.  Hearing an authentic voice over the din of all the negative noise that we keep harbored within; is an art within itself.

An authentic voice is a loving voice.  It doesn't bribe or cajole.  It won't degrade or debase.  It won't list your shortcomings or make you feel less in any way.  It is the voice under all that negative noise; the quiet whisper, the small cheering section and the gentle hand that holds yours when you need help going forward. It will never judge you, even if you fail.  It will always believe in you even when you have forgotten how to believe in yourself.

I have been trying to shut out all the noise within me and listen to my authentic voice.  It is a hard process but each time I am successful that spirit of motivation gets stronger.  It starts to become contagious in a way and spills into a new area of my life.  Slowly, very slowly, order is being restored to my being and I feel almost whole again.  There is a balance being achieved each day between the things I have to do, with the things I need to do and the things I want to do.

But it is a slow process like this blanket.  Some days I need to be motivated to work on this blanket and other days I'm excited to watch the colors change.  The two colorways are now being merged in this square and I'm in love with the new pairings.

This blanket has helped me to see how to break down bigger goals into smaller ones that have pieces that can be accomplished each day.  The goals don't have to be huge either.  But just the continuity of working a little each day will allow a project to keep its momentum and that way I am motivated to work on it.

Another thing I do to keep motivated is to go over my three biggest goals each night and I imagine them completed or a step in there progress completed.  I see myself so happy that I was able to achieve this and I acknowledge that the journey is as important as the goal itself.

A simple scarf begins with one stitch.  Each project has a journey.  Some are long and may provide obstacles along the way.  Working over these hurdles grant us knowledge; they make us stronger.  And forgive the cliche, but with knowledge comes power.  A power that makes that quiet voice within you stronger.  A power that allows you to see just what you can accomplish when you put your heart into it. When you believe in yourself whole Universes open up to you and the possibilities are endless.

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

BTW:  This post does not in any way make out to slander the good name of the Ninja.  I have the highest respect for Ninjas and their ancient practices.

Inner Connections

Another snowstorm this week shut everything down and we had another Monday at home.  I finished my squares for the week in between shoveling.  Yay!  Another block is done.  2 to go!

In July of 2011 I put the projects that had yarn together with their patterns in Ziploc bags.  This week I took out one of those patterns; the Tourniquet Scarf.  Two of my dear friends had bought this for me with enough Cascade to do the project.  It is mostly ribbing with a little duplicate stitch running down a few staggered rows.  What a fun little knit and a great neck warmer as well.

My LYS really liked La Donna and my outline for a beginners lace class.  Yay!  I love lace and I can't wait to share the knowledge that I've gleaned over the years.  I know this will be a great class! And as a bonus...my wonderful sister is finally going to learn to YO!  I am so excited to have her taking the class because I truly am blessed by any time that we spend together.  :)

I didn't want to insert a picture of my sis without her permission, so imagine one of my favorites; she is holding my son on his birthday and he is giving her a hug.  There is love on his face and you can see how important she is to him and conversely there is a big smile on her face that reflects how much she loves him back.

We were watching something with some friends and my son and one of their kids said, "People just don't do that; break into song."  My son turned around and said, "Yes they do.  We do it all the time at our house." And it is true.  Especially me and my sis; we have this deep wonderful connection that is such a blessing to me.

My Mother and her sister didn't really ever get along and that may be an understatement.   My BIL and my DH don't have a thing in common and never do anything together.  I didn't want my Sis and I to be like that...ever.  I think losing our parents has only brought us closer as facing tragedy hand-in-hand can only do. But I can't really remember a time that I didn't love my sister with all my heart; even though I know the High School years when I found boys was a little rough.  But even then, we created a newspaper together about stuff going on.  I still have some of them.  Later on, I would go all the way to get her from school so she could spend time with us on the weekends.

I spent my life admiring her for how brilliant she is and I have always been awed by her creativity. Her attention to detail and ability to work on tiny little things always puts me in a state of awe.  She has a big heart and is fiercely loyal to her friends and family.  She has a soft and gooey center for my son and she and he have a special beautiful friendship.  When she can't make it for our Sunday visit or monthly sleepover; she is missed by all of us...I think even the cats wonder where she is.

So when I look at what I've lost, it only accentuates the blessings I have.  But then I can see my Mother in my Sister.  Her creativity is a reflection of not only my Mom but all the women on that side of the family.  I can't tell you the relief when I visited my Ohio relatives and found my Aunt in a room surrounded by yarn and exclaimed, "Thank you, Goddess, I 'm not the only one!"  Crafting, creating is in our blood and if I look at myself with an unbiased eye, I can see that I too am a reflection of that creative spirit that runs in our family.

I see my Father in my son.  My Dad loved nature and nurtured the creatures in it whenever he could. If a bird had frozen its talons on a clothesline he would hold it until it warmed up enough to be free. He took creatures outside whenever he could.  He taught me the language of birds and they would come to the window to try and catch a glimpse of their new friend.  My Dad had a big heart, you had to know him to see it, but he was someone with a big and generous heart.  While he was more reserved about it, my son is outwardly kind.  People tell me that he resembles my simpatico (Italian for sympathetic) so I guess that means I am a reflection of Dad as well.

These are actual flowers in our yard that decided to bloom between the storms.

With Spring here officially...I'm not sure I believe it...that means it is the anniversary of our parents crossing over to the other side.  By recognizing Mom and Dad in those that I love; I have found them within myself as well, and that is truly a beautiful blessing.  :)

A Springtime blessing is my wedding anniversary.  It will be 18 years this year that I have been blessed and honored to be with such a wonderful man.  I am so thankful for every gesture that he grants me; from the coffee in my cup every morning to retiring into his arms at night.  I truly love him more each day.  (It won't let me insert a heart here because it breaks the html code - so imagine one please)

I'm not sure what happened with all that snow and ice, but somewhere along the line, I stopped worrying about how I was seeing the world and turned that gaze within...I started to see the world and the people I love and admire in reflected in myself.  :)

On the health front, I got one of those Jawbone Up bracelets.  It tracks my sleep and activity.  It tells me when I have been idle too long and I can track my daily food intake on it.  I love it.  I got one for DH too and my Sis already had one.  This way I can see the reality of what I am eating, how many steps I am getting and my sleep all in one place.  I started out with 3,000 steps and sadly I had to run around the house a bit to get up to that number.

This job is mostly sitting and if it wasn't for the dog forcing me to get up and let him out sometimes I wouldn't move for hours.  That is why I love my little idle nudge.  I can get up and do some filing or something that isn't sitting for a bit.  Little steps create lasting health.  Oh, it was a relief to know that typing and knitting do not add steps.  Maybe if I was a picker, but as an English thrower, the movement in my left hand is negligible to the step counter.

Oh, the Ziploc VersaGlass has worked out better then I thought it would.  Some people say theirs leaks; mine doesn't.  In fact the lid is so tight that I did have a bit of trouble getting it off.  Maybe with a lot of use, that lid might become looser and then it might leak, but right now it holds liquids in tight. You can put it without a lid in the oven (400F) or microwave and with a lid in the freezer and fridge. It is dishwasher safe and made out of pretty nice glass IMHO.

It is hard to be healthy; it takes time and constant work.  Something you may think is good for you one week is found to be dangerous in the next.  All one can ever do is the best they can with what they have.

I hope that even if there is snow where you are that the spirit of Spring blesses you with rebirth and renewal.

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

La Donna

This week was different.  I can't explain it.  Anais Nin said, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to blossom."  I have always loved that quote.

On Saturday I went with my friend to a yarn shop that I had never been to before.  I really wasn't going there with the intent of buying yarn because I have a room of it.  But you know when in Rome...

So I found this yellow yarn.  It is Fibra Natura Sea Song in Sunflower.  I never seek out to buy yellow yarn. Yellow is a wonderful color, it makes me think of honey, warm summer days and sunflowers; but for me, it just isn't one of the colors I usually choose.  I kept coming back to it and the fact that it had kelp in it intrigued me.  I was almost to the door and then I went back and bought the last two balls of this yarn.  I see it is discontinued on all the web sites I frequent so I'm not sure you can get it anymore.  Which is a shame since it is such a nice little yarn.  :(

So when I came home I had to knit the flower motif from my Mom's shawl with it.  I felt like I was on automatic pilot and grabbed the pattern and a set of circs and began designing a little cowl in the flower motif.  I knit for three hours and the yarn got softer as I worked with it, kind of like linen does.

Fast forward to visiting with my Italian friend that night.  When I told her the story of the yellow and the flowers she blinked and then looked at me like something had occurred and I had missed it.  She explained in Italy today, March 8th, it is Woman's Day...La Donna.  The women receive yellow flowers to honor them.

It still gives me chills to tell that story.

I named the little cowl design, La Donna...how could I not?  It not only honors Women everywhere but also the ones I hold dear to my heart.  And at the heart of all them is my Mom.  My love and respect for her is woven into every stitch.  When I showed her my original design way back when, she said she wanted flowers.  So I added motifs of roses and tulips for her.

As I was knitting I realized that I have let my eye dictate everything for me.  Yes, it is hard to see at times and sometimes it is horribly painful from the eye-strain, but millions of people work through their ailments every day and I have sat back long enough and waited for things to change, and sadly they have not.

Or maybe they have, since I, myself have changed.

I called my LYS and I want to teach a Beginner's Class on Lace.  I had most of it prepared for the two events that didn't happen so most of the work was done already.  My son took pictures yesterday for me and I loaded them onto the already charted and written pattern sections.

I wrote up La Donna and I just have to chart it now.  I even found a new bind-off to try for it.  I'm always trying to match something to the cable cast-on that I love so much and EZ had just the thing. Somehow I missed it when I read about her sewn bind-offs.  Here is a great article on it.

It is a little unruly and takes a bit of practice but this is really the closest bind-off I have ever seen to match the cable cast-on.

Ta da!  The Knit Nana Cowl in the DK Gloss is done!  I really like the way it looks.  You lose the drape of the sugar (which has also been discontinued) (sad face) but the stitch definition really shows through in the wool.  I'm going to let this finish blocking and send it to Nana.

Here is my next layer on the squares.  La Donna took me by surprise so I wasn't sure I would get to them again this week.  But I just kept knitting on them all weekend until I had caught up.

Don't worry I'm not taking on more then I can handle.  If I have too much trouble, I stop, simple as that.

On the health front.  I ate under my calories for most of the week.  I did my steps count for the week and will add to it for next week.  I added in more fruit and veggies and enjoyed a marvelous salad of radishes and yellow pepper.  I just love radishes.  I'd like to grow them this year.

I just got my Elder Scrolls Online (ESO) Beta invite.  This is where most bloggers would tell you that you wouldn't see them for a month or so...but I didn't leave during Skyrim or Minecraft so it will be business as usual.  lol  :)

BTW my son finished the blessing part of the temple.  Now you can "kneel" at the altar of the deity you choose and be "blessed" with their special effect.  Such as the Warrior will give you 12 minutes of strength. If we were playing with others this might seem to be a bit OP (my son's favorite word - overpowered) but since it is just the four of us; these powers won't be used to hurt each other as they might in a PVP (Player vs Player) environment.

Sadly, I haven't been on Minecraft all week.  I have been using that time to knit or watch Craftsy classes on knitting.  Craftsy has the best classes and you can pause them and replay the last 30 seconds any time you want.  Once you buy a class it is yours and you can watch it over and over.  You can make notes at any time during the class and the notes will be there at that time frame for your reference.  You can talk to the instructors and they will help you out at any point that you need them.  You can talk to other people taking the class and see finished projects that were inspired by others and/or put up your own.  And that is the only the tip of the iceberg; Crafty has so much to offer and not just in knitting either.  There is knitting, crochet, sewing, cooking, jewelry making and so much more.  And no, they are not paying me to say this or am I affiliated with them in any way.  I just really like them, and I can watch my class on any of my devices at any time.  Love.that.  :)

The Ziploc review will have to wait - I haven't forgotten.

Next week is Spring....even if it is not reflected where you are...may it be reborn in your heart,

Happy crafting!
Ruinwen,
:)

BTW - the flower is one of my stock images.  We have more snow on the way.  I have no buds to photo yet...

AU IVQA US IFYVAQ VA IVQBL

I don't have a lot to say this week.

My son and I like to do things together and I try to throw some quasi educational stuff in there when I can.

We have started solving encrypted substitution ciphers.  Codes have been used to carry messages for centuries.  Julius Caesar used a cipher where the letters would be shifted over by three.  This type of cipher where the alphabet stays in order is actually called a Caesar cipher in his honor.  This cipher looks like this:

Plain:      ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Cipher:   XYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW

There are many types of ways to do a cipher.  My son and I have been decrypting mixed alphabet ciphers which have no set order to how the letters correspond.  It is a fun activity and doesn't take more than an hour unless you have a really tough one to crack.  Your mind has to work in different ways to catch patterns or try word sounds; it really is very challenging and fun.  

Some things to keep in mind when solving a mixed alphabet cipher:

E, T, A, O, I, N, S, H, R, D, L and U are the 12 most common letters in a typical English text.  TH, ER, ON, and AN are the most common pairs of letters and SS, EE, TT, OO, LL and FF are the most common repeats.

If you have a one-letter word you know it is I or a

Two-letter words are most frequently: of, to, in, it, is, be, as, at, so, we, he, by, or, on, do, if, me, my, up, an, go, no, us, am

Three-letter words are most frequently: the, and, for, are, but, not, you, all, any, can, had, her, was, one, our, out, day, get, has, him, his, how, man, new, now, old, see, two, way, who, boy, did, its, let, put, say, she, too, use

Four-letter words are most frequently: that, with, have, this, will, your, from, they, know, want, been, good, much, some, time

If you have a four-letter word that ends in and starts in the same letter it frequently will be that.

Each code takes a different approach but we always look for one or two-letter words to start with.  If you have a one-letter word then you know it will be I or A.  If you have a two-letter word that starts with that same letter then you know it is going to be one of the following: am, an, as, at, in, is, or it.

Explaining a cipher is like trying to describe the taste of chocolate: it will never match up to the real thing due to the complexity.  So here is a cipher for you to try.  There are some elements which should jump out at you leading to the theme.  I always write out the alphabet under the cipher and cross out the letters as I go, it really helps me to see what is left to choose from.  For a bonus, after you obtain the key to the cipher below you will be able to decode the title as well.  :)  Have fun and good luck!

VL  VI  IFYVAQ  DQDVA.

LBM  MDYLB  VI  ZVJM  D  OBVZK  

LBDL  JAUPI  FUMRI  HN  BMDYL.

And here is my layer of the week.  These colors are so beautiful, I just love them together!

Happy crafting everyone,

Ruinwen

:)

Color Me Blissful

When I was a little girl, maybe 8, I went to a birthday party and I won a prize.  It was a box of colored bath fizzies.  I adored those fizzies.  My bath could turn hues of blue and green gold and even red.  There was something about bathing in colored water that seemed magical to me.  It is an experience I have always remembered and cherished.

Flash forward to five years ago when the chromotherapy tubs started coming out and it became a dream of mine to own one of these tubs.

Color originates in light.  The light from the sun is colorless, as we perceive it.  When the sun shines on an object the surface of that object absorbs all the colored light rays except those corresponding to that object and reflects this color to the human eye.  The eye receives the reflected light and sends a message to the brain and we see color.

If you take a dispersive prism you can break light into its spectral colors or the ROYGBIV colors of the rainbow.  My sister and I used to shoot the hose into the air to create rainbows; it always seemed like a bit of magic when they would appear and shimmer in the air.

Color has always played a large part in my life.  Being a healer, the 7 chakras (energy centers that correspond to the colors found in prismatic light; they allow the force of life to flow through our arteries, veins, nerves and organs and they connect our mind/body/spirit) system is sacred to me.

One of the reasons I craft is to play with color.  Color is a central part of my being.  This is why I wanted the chromotherapy tub.

Last night I soaked in my tub of magical changing lights and effervescent warm bubbles and I was filled with so much joy as I simultaneously melted into a relaxed puddle of bliss.  I had the colors on scan so they faded gently into the next and each one was a revelation.  I used the lights to clean my chakras, to meditate and then I just relaxed.  It was one of those moments where you are in the "now".  There was no thought beyond the bliss of the bubbles and the changing colors.  I let go of everything until my cycle ended and I left the bath feeling like I had experienced some mystical transformation.  Even now, writing this days later, I am still smiling thinking about my next spiritual night soaking in my tub of color and bubbles.  :)

And on to more color...here is layer 2 of block 2.  The blues are so soothing; they remind me of our trip to Florida this last Summer.  Ah....so many happy memories!  :)

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

Isa

After our sweet little furry prognosticator said that we would have six more weeks of winter, our weather just went crazy.  Monday we had a snowstorm that was mostly slush.  Shoveling slush is much harder than snow but I wanted to make sure the driveway was clean so it didn't turn into ice. And ice my friends is what followed.

In the above shot, you can see my work driveway blocked by 2 major tree limbs that had to be hauled away by a truck (thank you rescuers!) and a whole lot of littler limbs that I managed to move.  I had been given the go-ahead to leave because the power was out; it was out pretty much everywhere in our area.  The tree stopped me and I had plenty of time to sit and look and listen to what was around me.

First of all, it was beautiful in a staggering way that fine crystal is.  Everywhere was full of prismatic flecks of light; everything was covered in ice.  Second, it was dangerous.  As I sat there I heard the crashing of limbs as trees could no longer bear the weight of the ice.  Later that ice would fall from all the trees and rain down shards that sounded almost eerie and made an unearthly din.  Never had I witnessed such a thing as this ice storm.

It made me think about the Norse Rune Isa.  Isa means just what you think; ice...standstill.  Ice can be cold and unforgiving or beautiful and inspiring.  When you freeze something in ice you can see it from outside of itself and from all angles.  Ice is as effective in fire at pruning away those things that no longer serve their purpose within us.  As the ice overcomes them they become to heavy for us to bear and we have no choice but to shed them from our being.

I've always believed that winter is a time for introspection.  Ice freezes things in a snapshot sort of way. You can see the trees through the ice; so too while we are in the grasp of Isa's changing we appear the same until the metaphorical branches start to fall away from us.  Isa's transformation is a slow one that is full of ponder-some moments and deep inner reflection.  The first shift feels strange like something has occurred but one can't quite put their finger on it.   New thoughts seem to surface and moods may change as Isa is readying us for spring.  The whole process is methodical and barely can be noticed until one day we wake up and we just feel different and just a little more whole.

Everyone has had one of these transformations in their life-time.  One cannot grow without a little pruning here and there.  But these moments can be easily missed and dismissed as just a "good day" where everything seems to flow and be right with the world.  The message of Isa is a good one. Stopping once a day to just be still and listen lightens the soul and helps to relax the body.  It should also be noted that the rune of Isa can be found within 17 of the other 24 runes which says to me the message it carries is very important; slow down because ice can be dangerous, beautiful and wondrous all at once.  All one can do when Isa has graced your path is be patient.  Eventually, the ice will thaw and new growth will occur.

I found it hard to knit again this week.  The shoveling of slush made my hands hurt.  I managed to have just enough light to knit when the power went out during the ice storm.  Regardless, here is my first block.  It is a slow patient journey of fiery colors interwoven together in a beautiful play of hues that merge and meld to form something new.  I see colors in this block that aren't there; which, is the magic of this pattern.  It tricks the eyes by gradually shifting the hues into thinking that the colors are just a bit more yellow or red or whatever. This blanket truly is magic.

Happy Crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

Creativity Takes on Different Forms

This an actual view of my temple at night, I decided to add vines and change some minor things with the side structure.  I must admit I really love the way it turned out.

For those of you that play Minecraft, I mined all the ore and such and everything is legit.  I spent hours in the Nether playing tennis with Ghasts mining Nether Quartz crystals.  I spent hours gathering materials up to trade with villagers for the Emeralds, and I still have a few to go as well as one diamond ore block.  But this is the way I chose to do it.

Everyone has rules that they play by and that is the great thing about Minecraft; you play the way you want to.  Each world I have played in has had different rules that I have adhered to.  In the Temple world everything I build, I gather myself.  I don't use Creative or spawn things in.

Each project takes resources and I must think about the impact of my taking of those resources on the world around me. When wood is harvested, seedlings must be replanted for a new forest to grow.  When ores are depleted, they are gone.

The Emeralds in the Temple I get by trading with Villagers but I still needed to harvest sugar cane, make paper, kill Zombies, shear sheep and kill Spiders to be able to make these trades.  I know that I am still quite a few short in the picture, but this is a work in progress.

This temple has truly taken a lot of planning.  I know it wasn't really huge but if you consider that each Chiseled Quartz Block takes 4 pieces of Nether Quartz to make a Block of Quartz.  You then take  3 Blocks of Quartz and create a Quartz Slab (you get 6 of these which is nice).  You then take 2 Quartz Slabs to make 1 Chiseled Quartz Block.  That my friends, is a ton of Nether Quartz.

I really enjoy the satisfaction that comes with each new area I complete or resource I am able to gather. Sometimes it is the simple things which bring the most profound pleasure.

In my vision, this temple area has always had a giant spirit tree so this is my next project.  I have chosen spruce wood since I like the look of it, though I will not be making a spruce tree because I wanted something with branches.  I took the temple picture standing on the top of the trunk portion of my spirit tree.  And the above picture is only a work-in-progress shot of the tree.  I still need to work on the inner branches.  I added a few leaves to flush out where the branches should be to give loft to the structure.

Building this tree is a challenge because it is so tall.  I hollowed out the middle and put Glowstone up the center to keep out undesirables.  I put vines down the sides of the middle so I can climb up there and get to my branches.

Everything is slow patient work since I am up there at cloud level and it is a long way to fall.  Each branch is built out by sneaking and peeking over the edge of the previous block.  Somewhere in this project I lost my fear of heights and started enjoying the view.  It really is beautiful up here.  Later on, I will be able to climb to the cloud level and mediate up here.  I'm putting in a hidden door that vines will cover the entrance on the outside of the tree.  I really love using vines since I am right by a swamp Biome and they grow on the trees anyway.

The wood for this project was not really an issue.  I gathered enough saplings to plant 8 2X2 Spruce trees. These trees practically hit cloud level themselves and each was just a bit different from its neighbor. These trees provided me with more than enough wood and I used shears to get all of their leaves as well.  Being four blocks they were easy to stair-step up, which made harvesting the wood easy.

This project teaches me patience; there is a time to gather and a time to build.  There are things that will need to be changed and things that I will like right away.  Ideas need to be flexible so that they can be seen from all views and improved upon as new sparks of imagination take place.  This tree may take me months, weeks or days depending on the fluidity of my building.  The time that it takes is not important as long as the finished project gives me joy.

Here is a project that is giving me joy, the Hue Shift Afghan.  Last week we took a pic of our blankets side by side to show how different our blocks are.  The jewel tones in my sister's blanket are rich and deep and my block is almost like shades of fire or a sunset.  They are both gorgeous in their own right.  Each week a new layer is formed in our squares and slowly we are creating a blanket; the journey is a delight and every week adds a new dance of color in our squares.

Here is this week's block layer; 1 layer to go until square #1 is done!

Happy crafting in whatever you choose to create,
Ruinwen
:)

Walking With Spirit

This is the new elemental shrine I designed in Minecraft.  My son helped me create in the creative world to figure stuff out and now I am building it in my homeworld.

I'm not so good at the building of stuff.  My son, my sister and my hubby make the most amazing structures. In fact, my hubby built me a house after I gave him my ideas, and it looks fantastic.  My sister would say that I just need practice, but I think you either have an eye for how these things flow together or you don't...and I don't.

But that isn't really important here because I wanted to do something to honor spirit in my game and this is my creation as I saw it in my head.  My Dad always said that he made a "joyful noise" unto the Lord because he couldn't really carry a tune.  But his heart carried in his song and that made it beautiful.  So this is my heart in blocks making a little place to honor spirit within my game; it is beautiful because my light shines through it as well as a lot of glowstone.  :)

Walking with spirit is as easy as that...making a place and or a time to devote to the stillness and just...be there.

It doesn't have to be a grandiose gesture; a word of blessing before you start your day, a word of thanks for the blessings at a meal and an attitude of gratitude at the close of the day for all the beautiful things you saw and did in another wonderful day on Earth.

Your way of walking with spirit may be to honor the house that you live in by doing laundry or cleaning something.  Maybe you honor spirit by cooking a meal for your family to provide nurturing and nourishment. Being with your family in a joyful way and just enjoying their presence in your life honors spirit.   There are endless ways to honor spirit and most of them are just being loving, kind, compassionate and considerate of your fellow man.

A smile may brighten someone's day.  A hug can warm someone's heart...and lower their blood pressure! An act of kindness has ripples that continue long after your part is over.  One person can make a difference just by letting that light in them shine out and touch others.

Another row is completed and I love this project more and more each day.  This week has been really confusing with holidays and snow closings.  When it got so cold I really didn't feel like knitting, but the minute I picked up the yarn...everything changed.  The Brava is so soft and brilliant with color that I found it easy to finish a square while watching the colors merge and change with the different accents in the blocks.

I went to the eye doctor and she said that Iris is fully formed and clearly obscuring my vision which, is the reason I haven't been knitting as much or writing full tutorials as of late.  These squares have been such a blessing to me because I can handle one a day and my eyes don't strain too much.  Not only does this give me great joy it allows me to create something special with my wonderful sister since this is a KAL.  Since we are only doing a row a week I can't push myself to do more than I can handle.  This project is just perfect in every way.

I was talking to a friend and she was saying when she got older she didn't want to lose her ability to knit.  I understand that.  Knitting is more then a craft to me; it is more like a religion that ties me to everything.  I know that I've said this before; but this is something I feel in my soul...knitting is my vocation.  My life's path is intertwined with fiber and community.  Every square connects me to my ancestors and my Patron Goddess.  Every stitch allows me to walk with Spirit.

Bright Blessings to you and yours,
Ruinwen
:)