Sunday, December 28, 2014
Sunday, December 21, 2014
So I'm going to share something that is kinda personal to me. For years I've had trouble sleeping in the same room as my husband because he snores. We have tried everything. Earplugs made my inner ear troubles echo like a train was running through my head and they made me a bit woozy. We got two white noise machines that allowed me to stay in there half of the night but as soon as he got bad it would break through the white noise. He has tried supplements and herbs; medicines and everything under the sun. I have tried everything from herbal remedies to a shot of sherry (this was very infrequent as I don't drink more then a glass of wine now and then these days).
In short, I love being with my husband and look forward to that special feeling I get as he holds me at night. It frustrated me to have to move in the middle of the night and my sleep suffered greatly. But we kept trying to find some magic combination of something that would allow us to make it through the night together.
Over the last few months I have been working with Sleepio, an app that helps you understand your sleep and find ways to improve it. There was a whole section on outside noises, including snoring, and how they affect your sleep. Sleepio explained how over years and years by trying to avoid the snoring, I've created a reaction to the snoring and that was part of the problem.
My sleep coach taught me a piece of the puzzle that I hadn't even understood; I was projecting this inability to sleep. Since I knew the minute I heard the snoring I would have to move I was all set up to do so. Over the years I had put out clothes and water and stuff to bring over to the other room. I always make my bed up that night so it would be ready for me with the covers pulled back. I was creating a habit of moving every night and reinforcing it by my actions.
So slowly over the course of a month I stopped doing all those things to prepare for my moving. I created a stronger "want" to stay under the warm covers with my loving husband then to move into the cold air and to try and find all those things. I made the getting out of bed the frustrating part and one morning I found that I was still there and it was a wonderful feeling to be warm and snuggly with my husband.
That was step one because even though I had fought my way back to sleep through the snoring; I still felt wasted that morning...like I had fought a huge battle. I kept telling myself that I was making strides and I needed to keep up the work.
Step two was to choose not to be affected by his snoring. I started off the night as I did my nightly reiki saying a dialogue of me the next day happy and totally unaffected by any sounds in the night. I projected me already making it through the night until I was done with my reiki and then curled up with my husband and was shocked when I woke up in his arms the next morning. This time I was well rested and I knew that his snoring hadn't woken me up.
Now some nights I would make it through and then others I would not. But this was better then never making it through. I continued to use the new tools that I had created to help me but something was still needing to be changed and that was me.
The sound of snoring would set off an emotional response in me. If I heard it out of context, it would still cause some serious anger, frustration and other negative emotions to arise...my sleep coach said these had to change if I was truly going to get a good night's sleep.
I needed to take my negative feelings about snoring out of the equation. Little by little I needed to make a new pavlovian response to the sound of snoring. So every time I heard snoring I began to relax.
I would tighten my muscles up in one area of my body and this would be my old feelings about snoring; angry, unchanging and negative and then I would release that area of my body and say relax as I did so and this would be my new feeling...relaxing, serenity and good deep sleep. I kept this up for another month. In the beginning I would have to wake up enough to focus on the relaxing but now my body just sort of does it as I hear the snoring and the next thing I know I am waking up really rested. Now the snoring actually relaxes me as I no longer have a negative emotional tie to it and that is fantastic!
It wasn't easy to get here. It took months of dedication, working with my surroundings and the support of my loving family...but I did it! Last month I was actually able to make it through the entire night every night. When my hubby rolled over and I was still there he was so happy because that is what he has wanted all this time for us.
So I found you really can change things...you have to do it slowly and it takes time and everyone's situation is different. But if you can change just one thing at a time and let that change sink in then the next change is a little easier until the moment when you realize that you have done it. You have really changed your life.
In Minecraft survival you start out with nothing. You have no food and no shelter. The monsters will eat you at night and life is really challenging when you are starting out. But as you gain tools and supplies, things change. Slowly you start to feel that you are going to be okay and you can tell you are getting stronger. The monsters aren't as dangerous and most times you can avoid them. You keep getting stronger and you grow crops and have collect animals. Now you don't have to worry about food so much. Each achievement makes you stronger and you grow as a character.
Gaming teaches me about life and life teaches me about gaming. In all these games you start with nothing and create a world where you get stronger and stronger and that totally works in real life too. The gaming is easier then the actual real world where you have to change up everything and really make an effort but the truth is that you can do anything if you really break it down and work on it and believe in yourself and the process.
Bright Blessings and a Happy Yule to those that celebrate,
P.S. The above pic is two half-linen stitch infinity cowls. This one is my Holda pattern: I wanted to show how different yarns really change the effect of the cowl. I love the rainbow one it reminds me of an Egyptian neck piece. And I still love the winter one with the grey on white. It is such a fun stitch! :)
Sunday, December 14, 2014
I took this photo from our room in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in DC. My DH is having his annual company shindig and we are staying the lap of luxury. We are having a blast and the food is wonderful; they have a gluten free menu and I've really enjoyed trying some new things.
I usually find all these things that I want to change when coming to wonderful hotel like this. In truth it was the Mandarin three years ago that helped us to solidify what kind of shower setup we wanted. Last year I fell in love with the bed we had because it was soft and I fell into it like a cloud, which in turn helped us to look outside of the box for a new bed.
But this year we have the new bathroom and I really appreciate the ADA height in our toilet...especially in the middle of the night. Our bed is a thing of absolute relaxation built to our specific needs. The thing is while this hotel is amazing and we have this beautiful suite and you could live in our bathroom...but I love my house more. I appreciate the way we built it together and every time I look at our counter top I remember that my son picked it out. I love the way my house feels like a home again and how very thankful and blessed I truly am.
Life is really what you decide it is. Each day you make a choice how you are going to see the moments that string together.
Tonight I will dress like a princess but in truth I can feel like that in jeans and a warm sweater. I feel special every day because of the people that I am blessed to have in my life, the talents I am blessed with and all the amazingness that life has to offer.
My son said to me the other day that he didn't know what to ask for when people asked him what he wanted for Yule because he is really blessed. He has everything he wants. He then gave me a big hug and talked about getting gifts for poor kids that don't have a way to afford gifts for the holidays.
There was a story they told in church about the pastor wanting the community to collect money for a needy family for the holidays. This one family sat down and even though they lived pay check to pay check, they worked out how each of them could make a little money by doing chores for others. The family agreed that the father and mother could work a little overtime and the kids would help around the house. I don't remember all the particulars but all the family even the little ones collected money by doing various things. In their heart was the idea of helping someone else and how beautiful it would be for a family in need to be able to have a good holiday season this year.
The family was so proud that they were able to do this wonderful thing for another. They all had to work a little harder then usual but they proudly offered the money to the pastor and he looked at them quizzically. "We were collecting for you," he said softly, "We know that you wear the same outfit on Sunday and are just making ends meet."
The family was confused. "Money is a necessary thing, yes," the father explained to the pastor, "But we have good jobs and our children go to school. Right now they may not have a lot but we have each other and in that we are richer then most."
The pastor got tears in his eyes at the generous and beautiful heart of this family. He saw that they were living the words of God in every moment of their lives. What he had seen was lack had been through his understanding of the word; but in reality this family was blessed and prosperous beyond measure.
From our family to yours, may the blessings of the season bring you joy, prosperity, love and light,
Sunday, December 07, 2014
Santa was posing in ESO the other day so I had to get a pic. My dark elf is pretty shy, so she is the one behind Santa with the red hair. :)
This week I have nothing really to show you - although I did make a beautiful cowl for my Secret Snowflake and she seemed to really like it.
I've been working on me and how I see the world but that really isn't something that is easy to explain without believing in the Laws of Attraction and Equivalent Exchange.
I've been writing character sketches each day and it feels good to write again. It is something I have always enjoyed. So, I'm not sure how you write a character but mine talk to me and I write them the way they present themselves. I've had these characters in my head for what seems like a life time now and I never knew that they had partial color blindness. Maybe it isn't something they share a lot or maybe it is such a part of them that they forget that others are different.
I was trying to understand that part of them this week from a writing perspective. I was trying to find a way to duplicate what they see so that I could understand them a little better. Here is how my main character might see. The first shot is without any filters. The second shot is with a red-weak filter and the third is with a red-blind filter.
As you can see, how this character sees would change the world he lives in. What challenges does he face on a daily basis that I take for granted and he had to learn to overcome? How would he decorate his room? Would it be garish to me because he used colors he could see...that were pleasing to him? How does it help or hinder his job?
It is all perspective. Life is shaped by how you see it. That view can be changed by others if you choose to believe their truths over your own; which then becomes your true life view. Or you can take your truth and change it to whatever you want it to be. Is that easy? Not always...sometimes...no...yes.
All I know is that is what I've been working on. POV. How I see the world...or should I say how I choose to see the world. And in this season of the light being reborn in different ways all over the world; I choose to let in and embrace that warm and fuzzy glow of goodness and hope that is the calling card of this season and share it with as many people as I can.