Just Breathe

I've been having this feeling that something is missing for a while now.  It took me a while to realize that the something that is missing is not a hole to be filled or something I need to fix.  There is space now where before I was doing things for my parents; which wasn't a chore but it was a constant part of my life.  Just like having another family live with us was a mixed blessing, but now that they have found a home of their own...everything is different.  To lose two such big influences on my life in one year has changed everything for me and my family.

This is what it feels like to have less stress.   I can come home and relax and do things and still be able to wash a load of clothes or dishes or make dinner and not feel hurried.  There are breaths of space between everything that wasn't possible for me before no matter how hard I tried to carve the way for them.   This is new and it feels unnatural for me, but this is how my life is supposed to flow.

Space is a good thing.  It allows air and possibility to exist.  In lace, it helps to show how beautiful everything is with some distance between the stitches.  I am starting to be able to focus on individual moments again because of the light between them.  Simple things really have started to shine for me again.

I got that old rush I used to get when I did ritual this Sunday.  It had slowly been coming back to me these last few months.  Ritual for me has always been such an important aspect of my faith.  I married a man who believes as I do and loves to raise some good energy.

In the old days, I had a circle and we would feast and do ritual every holiday without fail.  I missed that.  I missed the simple act of sitting around a fire and the house smelling of a roast sprinkled with magic because for a while it was just something we couldn't do due to circumstances that were beyond our control.

But now...I feel like a kid again and it is like coming home to a part of myself that I really missed. My son suggested we re-bless our Nightmare Prevention Bags that we made in '08.  There was a really bad year where he would recite the words every night before bed.  I can't tell you how many bad dreams I pushed away with my little bag.  It was time.

So one of the things I really like to do is write spells, prayers, blessings...really anything spiritual. Back in the days of my Wicca 101 classes; the thing that stuck with me was the whole rhymes have power thing.  I like the challenge of making it rhyme.  It puts a little of myself into it and my time and energy which in my opinion, both add some good energy.

Here are the words since they blurred in the photo:

Little bag full of herbs and things that scare
Make a hedge boundary that reads beware
No evil can reach me when I sleep
No negativity into my dreams may creep
Herbs of protection circle thrice
May your scent good dreams entice
I welcome in good beings to watch over me as I rest
As I fall asleep I know that I am very blessed.
So mote it be.

I also like correspondences.  So for the NPB I got some punches and made little cats, bats, spiders and maple leaves to add the power of the season to the mix.  The herbs I chose for the NPB were: coriander, cumin, cinnamon, dill, salt and frankincense.  Almost everything I do has some herbs blended in.

My son helped mix everything and punch out bats, cats, spiders and leaves.  We had fun and it didn't take really long to prepare everything.  We got some cat whiskers (they had fallen off over the years and we save every one of them) for a blessing from our four-footed friends.

I mulled some cider with cinnamon, cloves, allspice and ginger.  A roast was crocking as we were working and the two smells were just divine.

My husband and I cleared off the pad in the back and it didn't seem like work.  This song was starting in my heart and I could feel it running through my veins and filling me with this incredible joy.

The whole ritual was simple but the energy of family and community and connection were so strong that I can still feel the effects.  I feel like a battery recharged.  It is like the lapse of the past had never been.

In knitting news I have been working on my friend's projects.  She wasn't sure where she left off in the pattern and I picked it up after a long Friday at work and I really should have known better to just rush into something.  But alas, that is where my tale begins.  It was a moebius and I judged wrong where she was in the Fibonacci sequence and I was five rows off.

Now, I pride myself on helping people and she had entrusted me to finish these projects correctly so I had two options; rip or fix each stitch.  Really the time expended would be the same so I began to drop five rows down on each of the stitches and ladder them back up again.  All told in the end I fixed 1,360 stitches. But the Fibonacci is back on track and now I don't have to reknit those rows.

This is such a lovely yarn to work with.  It allows me to move all the stitches around and then just snaps back into place.  The colors are beautiful and soothing too.  I will have to ask my friend what it is.

Happy Crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

BTW: No Nauga's were harmed in the making of this post.  :)

Starburst

So here it is; the starburst pattern.  I love it!  The blue, green and pink all glow which always makes me smile.  It really didn't take too long to make.

I improved a bit on how the band works that you make after you make the bracelet.  Normally you just do a single chain to extend the band, but I put the two loops back on the loom and made a fish-tail pattern.  I really like it better for looks and durability.  Those long chains quickly can get overstretched.  This is a nice fix for that.

Anyway, the trees sure are pretty here.  It definitively looks like fall now.  I am reminded that Yule is around the corner and I'm banishing that thought for now and trying to enjoy the now.

This is New Year for me and every year I make resolutions, if you will, that help to nurture my body,  mind and spirit.  I have been so lax lately...at least it seems so to me.  But I still manage to do what needs to be done which begs to differ that maybe my view of "what I should be doing" should be reviewed.

I think my resolutions should look something like this:

Air - Stop being so hard on myself - no one can do everything - be content with what I do achieve

Fire - Get moving - I don't have to do something formal every day as long as I do something

Water - Stop apologizing for doing things that I love - if I enjoy it then there should be no guilt in that

Earth - To continue to be thankful for all the blessings I have, the people I know and the creatures I share my life with

Spirit - Take 5 minutes each day for spirit by myself without a phone, TV or anything else distracting and take one night a week for spirit at least

I feel so blah right now.  The weather is changing.  We just had a raging storm and it rained through most of Halloween.  We made it out for about an hour before it got too bad and my son had a good time.  Now the sun is out and it is almost balmy; that really messes with my head.

So before I complain too much - I hope you had a blessed and magical Halloween / Samhain.

I'm helping a friend out who is unable to knit so I will be working on her projects for a while.  I'll show you when I figure out where she left off.

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

Happy Halloween / Happy Samhain!

there is a haunted house in town

where all the walls are tumbling down

where the cobwebs hang and the window shutters bang

and all the creatures gather round

…where the bats and cats and witches keep their skeletons in stitches as they sip their spider cider in the haunted house….

they’re there, they’re there they’re really there

watch out be careful and beware

oh beware

don’t you trick or treat or you’re the one they’ll eat

when the moon shines on the haunted house.

Sis...this is just for you... because we both know all these little ditties from camp and school. And we burst into song all the time. Love the Siiiister!

Have you ever woke up and felt like a totally different person?



When I woke up on Sunday...I felt vibrant and full of light. I'm not sure really why. We spent Saturday with friends at the local farm doing all kinds of Fall things; surviving the corn maze, burying my son in the corn pit, petting farm animals, jumping on a big pillow, picking pumpkins and drinking cider and eating pumpkin pie. It was a great day. The weather was perfect.

On Sunday I decided we should decorate for the season. We haven't done that in a while because of trying to keep the peace between the families. After talking to my BIL I realized that I give in too easily to other's demands in lieu of my own. My peace-at-any-price attitude is most times the wrong action to take.

So Sunday I woke up did my FB stuff then started the new Sunday ritual of doing something spiritual for an hour. I ended up doing a tarot reading which more or less told me that I was on the right track.

Why is it so hard to do something good for ourselves; yet we are so quick to act for others?

After my reading, I got out the decorations and with help from my son and DH we had quite a good time making the house all spooky for All Hallows Eve.

It felt good to do something so ridiculously simple.

I wish you and yours a blessed All Hallows Eve...and if you celebrate...Happy Samhain!

Ruinwen
:)