Saturday, May 31, 2008

A Sheldon is Born



Wow! When my son asked for Sheldon for his teacher's baby I never imagined how much fun it would be to make the little guy. My son reasoned that he should have a tail and I changed the pattern to include it. I'm going to make another in a few months. Guess I should finish some WIP's first! *grin*

The shoes are the most amazing thing! They feel like walking barefoot and get your toes to stretch and relax. You have better balance with them too. They come in different colors and when I ran in the rain yesterday, they did not even slip or attempt to come off. Love them!!!

And another beautiful bag from Sallee! I love the black cat, pumpkin theme...love, love, love it! :) And I added a little flickr badge on the sidebar for her bags that I have...2 are missing I think....I really love, love, love anything she makes!!! :)

We cleaned yesterday and I'm pretty wiped...but I'll get in my Wii Fit workout and then sit back and knit!

Have a lovely weekend,

Happy Crafting,

Ruinwen
:)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Sharing the Light

"Any fool can run towards the light. It takes a master with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine his own light there."
-- Leslie Fieger

Last night I had a vision during my weekly Wed spiritual bath. It was clear as day and I felt like I was there. I could hear the water in the stream that the Goddess was standing in. I felt the cold water shock my system that I was standing in. It was amazing and has redirected my purpose.

You see I wasn’t going to take my spiritual bath at first because it had gotten late and sleep is so important to me. But lately I’ve been forcing myself to do it anyway and last night was no exception.

As soon as I hit the water everything changed. The vision hit quickly and I was trying to keep up. The Goddess came to me and told me that I was doing okay with everything…in fact better then She had hoped. That brought tears to my eyes because I feel so scattered and like nothing fits right now. And to prove my point I fell apart in front of Her; fragmenting into a thousand shards of light.

She laughed and held out Her hand and I sprang back together but as I did I saw a core of pulsating, warming…love. I saw everyone’s faces or blog names that have reached out to me and their light combined with mine. It was beautiful beyond words.

But then She opened this gateway between two trees and She showed me that my light was in everyone I touch, write or connect with in any way. She shared with me a few people I have moved deeply that I never even realized. I cried the whole time at the beauty of giving and receiving and the power of friendships…even with people I’ve never met.

And then She said the most incredible thing that had me stunned. “I want you to take this experience and make it into a shawl. Make one side flow into the other and show the center…show the balance between give and take. When one wears it let them be immersed in a center of love through the shared community of all they have touched.”

And then I saw it. And it was beautiful. So I give you the beginnings of the Joanne’s Shawl. I am dedicating it to my giving, wonderful MIL who has always been there to support me in times of trouble. She gives to her community and family with her whole self. She cares for all creatures, great and small and will lovingly feed any animal that comes close. lol She always is quick with ideas to help people when they feel all is lost and she will always lend her time to help someone in need. She is an inspiration and a beautiful person. I love her so much!

Hopefully, I will have some time on Monday to lock myself away and work on this a bit. I know that any pattern takes time and a shawl like the one I saw is a whole new design for me. But I’m excited about the whole process of creating something beautiful without a time table or deadline. This shawl as much as it is for my MIL, it is also for me. It is a balm for my soul, a gift from the Goddess and a spiritual connection to all I hold dear.

When I looked into the darkness of my inner despair I saw all of you. Thank you for helping me to find my light again by sharing yours.

Namaste,

Bright blessings,

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen
:)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Spring Fest











First and foremost I wanted to thank everyone who reached out to me after my last post. I am so blessed to have you all supporting me!

Second, here is the Glady a beautiful interchangeable needle case from the amazing mind of Sallee. I love mine. Alas...I do not have a single needle or extension to put in it because I have so many projects. I must remedy that. *sigh*

We spent the weekend at fair. Saturday was a nice day followed by a terribly rainy Sunday. No one was buying and for the first time ever we did not make back our site fee. Very depressing. But these things happen.

We did both get projects done. I finished some baby sock for the LYS and got halfway through a car seat baby blanket and DH made some new pieces of jewelry. So that was nice. It is always nice to be alone for the weekend too. It's kinda like a date with hundreds of people popping in. :)

The community was there for us. One store loaned us displays for the jewelry and we think we will buy some for fall. Another store had a food delivery service which brought us coffee and food goodies so we didn't have to trek out in the rain. My LYS let me warm up and gave us yummy chicken yesterday to snack on.

And my family was there for us too. Nana and Pop Pop watched our child and let us use the truck to haul stuff back. They are such a blessing. :)

So maybe we only made $5 but we are surrounded by people who uplift us and support us. So really it was rainy and a bit cold but it was a wonderful weekend. We have a lot of ideas for fall. I'll let you know as they take form.

And usually at Fair, I load up on things I shouldn't...so I saved my bank points for the weekend and I had enough to share a funnel cake but they packed up and left because of the rain! So I noshed on this and that but I had healthy snacks too. I had to have coffee...which can be high in points with the syrups and stuff I like. And then we walked there and back the first day and there the second day which is a nice little walk. So I was pleased as punch this morning when I found I had lost another 2 pounds!

So that's what's going on. Things with Mom really aren't any better. My sis is home safely from her trip...I can't wait to talk to her. The rooms in the basement apartment look really nice. One more coat of paint and I think they're done.

I'm trying desperately to cultivate serenity in little moments here and there. And for the most part, it is working. Life is good, I am blessed...Namaste.

Bright blessing and happy crafting

Ruinwen
:)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Adaptation

"The successful man is the average man, focused."

-- Source Unknown

I finally finished Mom’s shawl! Can you hear the halleluiah chorus? I’ve been knitting this with a friend and just decided to start another to knit with her. It actually is about 4 feet long and works perfectly with her wheelchair. Yay, finally an FO!


A family of deer came grazing the other day. Deer to me mean many things but these coming to me when they did seemed to be telling me to adapt. That is why they are grazing in my backyard; they’ve had to adapt to a new food source. Deer are also one of my personal totems. They usually are telling me to really look at what is around me and listen to what is being said. They also come to tell me to take care of myself when I am spreading myself too thin.

I was recently talking to a friend about her blog and that it was hers to vent or rant or say whatever and I guess this post will let you see a part of me that is hidden beyond the heartfelt smilies I always feel. It will be totally scattered like I am right now and might not make a lot of sense so be warned.

I’ve really been trying to find some harmonious balance between all the elements of my life and at times I feel I am just barely making due and others I feel the water over my head and I can hardly breathe.

Nana and Pop Pop built the basement rooms for my BIL and his kids and they look amazing. Pop Pop is a genius with electricity and wired each room with separate switches and everything. Goddess bless for such a wonderful family!

Having Nana and Pop Pop there was really nice because I could retreat to my room and knit when it all got too much. And last week was too much for me to handle.

Really I’m just a big kid who can be a Mom and an adult when she has to be…and maybe I’ve always been the one people come to and I’m good at figuring things out. But you can’t help someone who just doesn’t want to change or maybe now is incapable of changing…I just don’t know…

My Mother whom I love deeply hates living. She was on suicide watch and it broke my heart to think she was that unhappy. All she is living for is family she tells me. When I get up to go she gets upset and panicky. It hurts to walk out the door knowing she will be miserable until I return.

I don’t know if it is for attention or she is slowly losing her faculties or a combo of the two. I just know it hurts to see this proud woman I knew so lost and confused. She calls me her lifeline and it scares me that she counts on me for everything because I know I continually fail her expectation of me.

I just can’t keep up. There is always something else wrong…always something else to fix. And I really try to take care of everything I can. I mean she’s my Mom and I would do anything to help her. That’s why I moved her up here so I could see her on my way home from work…so we could run and get her stuff when she needs it.

I know I’m not the first daughter to do this…I really shouldn’t say anything because at least I have a Mom still on this Earth. I feel torn between being selfish for leaving and wanting time for myself and selfless for wanting to give up all my time to help her like she did for me when I came into this world.

So I’ve split into two selves to cope: the happy helpful me that just rolls with everything and the me that as soon as I am out that door runs in the other direction as fast as she can.

I am not adapting well. I have nothing new for Spring Fling this weekend…I mean I did make that jewelry a while back…but there is no time for anything really. My old crafting time I now spend at AL.

On the weekends we are cleaning out Dad’s house and then we have to go through all the stuff and get it to the right place…recycle, consignment, etc. This last weekend we cleaned up until bedtime. I really didn’t get a Mother’s Day except for having a wonderful lunch, I missed my son even though I saw him there was no time for us, and I was dead tired. I know BMC Ruinwen…

So that is why there is little FO’s or no posts or no pictures. I really need to take a picture of something wonderful I got but I just haven’t had the chance. *so please forgive me*

I did want to say on the positive side of things I joined WW again because I knew that I should do something. I do very well with organized stuff. I can even deal with chaos as long as it is organized. lol But I’ve been on now since the 7th of April and I’ve lost 8 pounds. I’m not starving myself either. I’ve been enjoying rediscovering veggies and fruits and then on the weekends, I have all these extra points. I’m back in my size 12 jeans and they are loose. So I’m pretty proud. :)

So that’s what is going on. Thanks for letting me say all that. So this weekend when the thunderstorms hit think of me and DH in our little tent. I will be blissfully knitting away as he weaves metal.

Bright blessings,

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen
:)

Monday, May 05, 2008

MD S & W

This was the Ravelry crowd on Saturday in the rabbit building. I'm actually in this picture. They did a super job organizing the event! Yay Ravelry! :)

In between cleaning and helping out Mom I visited the Fair. I'm really blessed that I'm about 1/2 hour away. DH and I went on Sat and it was a great day. I had the best lamb kabobs! And the yarn...such beautiful, wonderful, yummy yarn!

And then I went back on Sunday with our wonderful LYS owner and we had a lot of fun and scored big! :)



Maple Creek Farm was my favorite and I went back the next day and got more yarn! The two thicker hanks are merino and the thin is merino and bamboo. I am in love with this yarn! The owner Eileen Garges is a wonderful and talented lady. She was all smiles when she saw me coming back and bringing a friend! :)


I might have made it out of the Fair without spending any more dough if it wasn't for the most wonderful Knitting Fairy. She made a shawl on the way to the Fair from Texas so it doesn't even have a picture on the pattern. But I fell head over teacups for it. She works at Brooks Farm Yarn which has lovely yarn. I sat their resisting for a long time even though the colors are so lovely.

But between the shawl and the Solo silk, I fell down the rabbit hole and there was no getting around it. I must say this Solo is really just divine. It feels like heaven and has such a lovely sheen that my little photo cannot do it justice.

But I'm in love. I want a blanket of this for my bed...or a throw to wrap myself in. It's such a nice yarn that I didn't mind casting on for the shawl three times because it just felt that good. If chocolate was a yarn...this would be it. :)

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen
:)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Hehe


Kimberly tagged me with this hehe about DH.

May 3rd is our 11 year Anniversary and I am blessed beyond belief to have this wonderful man as my best friend and mate. :)

Where did you meet? I was at a Con and my boyfriend at the time put me on DH’s lap and told him to watch me. DH wanted to kiss me but I didn’t let him. Then my friend dated him years later and I realized what a great guy he was. Finally when I needed a roomie to help with the rent he moved in and the rest is History!

How long did you date? About a year and a day

How old is he? 40 years old or young depending on your point of view

Who eats more? He does unless I’m craving something

Who said “I love you” first? I did.

Who is taller? Hubby. He's 5' 10", I'm 5' 9"

Who sings better? Me but that is not saying much I suppose

Who is smarter? He is a tech genius and I’m good at figuring out solutions to stuff.

Whose temper is worse? Tied. We both can be pretty bad but it really doesn’t happen that often.

Who does the laundry? Mostly me. He did a few terrible things to different outfits over the years…but he’s gotten way better.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does.

Who pays the bills? We both have our own bills we are responsible for.

Who cooks dinner? Usually me. But he can cook and does a good job of it when he has the time. He makes a cheese cake that is to die for…did I mention it is chocolate?

Who drives when you are together? Usually me. I get freaky sitting in the passenger seat and sick if I sit in the back.

Who is more stubborn? Me I think, but he can be really bull headed when he is set on something

Who kissed whom first? He did. He’d been wanting to since that first day.

Who is the first to admit to being wrong? I think it depends on the situation but we never go to bed angry.

Whose parents do you see the most? Mine live here so I guess we see them more. But I adore his folks and I’m so happy to be part of their family.

Who proposed? He did. He asked me to write our wedding ritual.

What’s his best physical attribute? His eyes and his sexy grin

Who has more friends? Me, he is more of a loner

What are you most proud of him for? He’s always had trouble reading ‘cuz he’s LD but he conquered it so he could finish college and get a degree. Every time he reads to our son it brings tears to my eyes.

Who has more siblings? We each have a sibling.

Who wears the pants in the family? We share the pants. But I run the household. We always include each other in all the decisions. It’s an equal partnership.