Self Sustainability

If you show up for yourself in your life, the universe will show up for you.

In talking with a friend I realized that I am the last one on my list which goes like family, friends, house, fun, creativity and me.  Why am I always last?  What would happen if I was first?

So I am trying being first on my list which then allows me to be more present with my friends and family....to have more energy to devote to the house...to be more centered to be creative...to be more immersed in my fun.  

I thought that if I put myself first then all these other aspects that are important to me would somehow have less of me.  I've always put myself last and I took whatever was left.  I'm not sure why or how it came about but I recognize it now that my friend who has always held space for me said it without judgment or accusation.  It just was the truth of my words in a way that I could not see them.

So as much as my friend sees me as being there for her, she, in turn, has always been there for me.

Since I have been working from home, I have been putting me first in practice, just maybe not in the space in my head that I see my importance.  I journal to hold space for myself.  My journal does not judge me but allows me to reread the words I've written which often changes their meaning for me.  My journal is my place to plan my day, my goals my hopes, my challenges and the things I don't want to forget.  It is also the place I am grateful, I record my successes, I celebrate my goals and I find pride in a day well-lived.

I am creating a sustainable routine.  This post has been full of buzz words and sustainable health is going to be another one.  I believe in a routine that creates an environment for yourself that nurtures and allows for future healthy growth.

Sustainable means to me:
If I get sick and miss some workouts and then I can get right back on track because a healthy body bounces back quickly.  
I know how to eat for my body and I can go out to eat without sabotaging my diet.  
I have a positive relationship with food.  
I am working towards making muscle and creating better mobility on a total body level.  
I get enough rest so that my body can recover and revitalize. 
I listen to my body/mind/spirit and have downtime to meditate, contemplate or journal.
I go easy on myself on rough days.  
I get back up after I am knocked down.
I smile and laugh as much as I can.
I have fun every day.
I do this for me. Not to be thin or a certain size, but to take care of myself.  This is my self-care routine.  This is what putting me first looks like.

Most of the things I am incorporating are things you have undoubtedly heard before here and there over the years.  

Disclaimer:  This is what worked for me.  These things made sense and were sustainable.  I can see myself using them forever and that was important to me.  They may not work for you.  You may not agree with them as needing to be on a sustainable list.  And that is okay.  Everyone has their own process.  If some of them ring true, then see if they work for you.  But again, this is what worked for me and some of the things that I found out when researching these points. 

Push water throughout the day.  The body is 60% water.  It needs hydration to function.  Headaches, sleeplessness, fatigue, cravings of sweets or salts, brain fog, impaired mood or brain function, digestive problems and allergies can all be symptoms of dehydration.  On hot days, I make it my priority to drink more water during the day to stave off dehydration.

Have a consistent sleep routine.  Sleep is when your body renews and repairs itself, it grows and heals and it allows all those muscles to rest that you use every day.  It is vital to good mental and physical health.  

Have a good breakfast.  After a night of your body resting, my bodily functions need nourishment.  This meal sets the pace of the whole day.  I focus on making it full of nutrient healthy food.

Try to slow down when you eat: meals are a celebration of bringing nature into your body to nourish, heal, energize and renew it.  Meals are not a race.  I enjoy food; I love to experience the texture and the flavors in each meal.  Chewing thoroughly before swallowing helps the entire digestion process.  

I also incorporate into my meal the act of thanks from the elements of nature that formed the food, to the people who grew it, to the people who packed and processed it to the prosperity that allowed me to buy it to the family that I eat it with.  This grace is an important part of my meal.  Having an "attitude of gratitude" is essential to my spiritual and mental wellbeing.

Follow the 85 /15 rule.  This means 85% of my food is whole and healthy and 15% is not.  This means I can have a snack or junk food if I really want it as long as the rest of the day I eat healthily.  I try and have one "treat" a day.  Some days it is really healthy and some days it is one scoop of Ben and Jerrys'.

Eat fruits and veggies.  Fruits and veggies have all those nutrients that my body needs to function and thrive.  Most of them are antioxidants in their own right.  Every member of the edible plant kingdom has some health benefit that contributes to your wellbeing.

Eat nuts (unless you are allergic).  Nuts are one of those superfood powerhouses that provide protein, fiber and good fats.  They also are filling and chock full of vitamins and minerals.  Almonds, pistachios, walnuts, cashews, pecans, macadamia nuts, brazil nuts,  hazelnuts and peanuts are the nuts that pack the most punch.

Move as much as you can.  When I was chained to my desk, moving was hard.  I would swivel and twist in my chair to give my core a workout.   I would hold my feet off the ground to engage my core.  I would do whatever I could to move a bit even though I was sitting for hours on end.  Belly circles are another thing I would do that no one could tell I was doing.  There was always something I could do.

Now that I'm not chained to my desk, it is relatively easy to get up every hour and do something.  I can do chores in between work and I've made time to work out.  But I understand, in this case, not everyone can do that.  

I know this can be hard.  It is always hard for me.  That is why I am going for a sustainable process.  I want to create changes that you can keep doing that allow you to reach your goals within the limits of your lifestyle.  Sometimes that can be as easy as parking farther away from the supermarket or setting a timer that gets you up every hour during the day.

Don't forget doing chores is moving.  On laundry days I am amazed by the number of steps I get.  There is a lot of movement in cooking or doing dishes.  Don't sell yourself short, those chores really add up to creating a healthy lifestyle.

My DH wanted to walk more.  The only way to do that was before work when he has the energy and drive and time.  So at 6 am we walk and catch Pokemon and talk.  It has become easier to get up and get going over time.  I really wanted to do it for him and then I realized that wow!  this is really great for me too.  I get so many steps and time with him and I am out in nature watching the world wake up.

I get that just going to the mailbox can be a walk.  I was there once and I remember that feeling of if I can just take those steps...if I can just do this one thing then maybe I could take more steps and create a healthy life for myself.  I have always had the support of my friends and family and that has been huge for me.

Do things that bring you joy.  I am always doing things that bring me the most joy.  Laughter is so healthy.  It lowers stress levels, strengthens your immune system, diminishes pain and boots your mood.  Just smiling can activate those healthy properties in your body.  

So this time, it is not about a number on a scale.  I'm not focused on that.  If I create a healthy lifestyle and diet then those numbers will reflect that.  I'm not worried about what I want to look like in the end because there is no end.  I am focused on feeling good in my own skin, feeling healthy in my own body and feeling happy in my process.  

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Week 2 of Tracking Back Basement challenge

I feel like I have reached a good pace with this goal.  I am moving and or cleaning things daily.  As you can see the stuff on the doorway table, and the table itself, has been moved.  Bins have been achieved and are starting to be filled with bagged yarn.

This week is all about moving the yarn on the left side of the room and cleaning the hanging drawers that the mouse lived in.  This is the part that I am afraid of...how much yarn has been destroyed?  

Fear and doubts are a big hurdle I always have to overcome.  So I made this little mantra that ties into my light cleansing mantra I say each day.

I release fear and doubt and transform them into wisdom and light.  I am the light.

I memorized this quite easily and have been chanting it throughout the day to quell those doubtful daemons that pull at my soul.  Each time I chant those words I feel a little more at peace with my inner self.  

Wisdom helps me to see that this week's task may be filled with uncertainty but it is also filled with discovery.  Why focus on the bad that could happen?  I very well may discover some amazing yarns that I forgot I had.  Really, that is quite likely.

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So, I feel at this point it might be important to talk about the hantavirus.  Certain mice can carry a virus that affects the pulmonary system in humans.  It is found in urine and mouse droppings which can disintegrate and become airborne when they are disturbed.  The virus can live in droppings and urine for up to a week at normal room temperatures found in the house, in direct sunlight the virus degrades at a faster rate.

It is a horrible illness.  Infection may occur up to six weeks before symptoms become apparent.  Initial flu-like symptoms from hantavirus infection can include fever, fatigue, muscle aches, and stomach upset. Respiratory symptoms occur later and may progress to pneumonia that requires that patients be on a breathing tube in the intensive care unit, to secondary bacterial infections, and to multi-organ failure. 

I am pretty sure that my mouse visit happened in the spring and during that time I already disturbed everything when I freaked out, so if I was going to get infected it would have happened.  But, I am still using a mask, wearing gloves and not vacuuming just to be safe.  I am spraying the droppings with disinfectant and mopping them up after five minutes just to be cautious.  

This takes time, but I feel that it is important to dispose of the mouse waste products responsibly.

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Sorry, no knitting progress.  But I have found plenty of new yarn to play with!

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen

Holding Space

When I was having lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, she told me that one of the things that she liked about me was that I had always held space for her.

One, I was so happy to have a compliment like that.  It is so hard for me to see myself through the eyes of those who can truly see me.  Her single statement helped me to see myself in a light that I never truly could see until this moment.

When you hold space for someone, you are there for them on almost a holy level of support.  For instance, if you have ever called in a circle, smudged your house, said grace or warded something; you have called in a sacred space.  

In this case, you are encircling your friend with your energy.  You are creating a place, a scared space, where they feel safe and protected.  This is a place where they can share anything and you will be present with them and listen with more than your ears.  You will be open to their journey without judgment.  You will accept them for who they are and not try and change them.  You will bear witness to their story, their path, and their process.  

I hug everyone I meet.  It is a way of sharing energy.  In holding space for someone you hug them without ever touching.  Your energy encircles them and supports and protects them.

This is a sacred space where they can feel safe to speak their feelings without being judged.  At times you may be called to just be a witness to powerful moments in their transformative process.  In these moments you are like a vessel that your friend can use to pour out all their emotions and feelings and see them laying before them.  Many times it can help them to clarify thoughts or ideas.  It can help them to see the issues that they are struggling through since in this safe place they are free to see them without judgment.

In holding space it is not about you.  This is not where you try and “fix” something that you see needs fixing.  By being with them, really being in their moment and listening to them or if there are no words, just sitting there with them, you are projecting compassion and understanding.  You don’t have to ask them, “What can I do,” or “How can I help you” because you are in that moment, helping more then you can ever know.

One of the hardest things in holding space for someone is to be non-judgmental.  I am not just talking about accepting them for who they are and where they are in their process, that is relatively easy.  I am talking about not filling this sacred space with your mind chatter about how you think you could fix this, or how when this happened to you, you did this or anything about you.  This is not your process you are not here to evaluate how your friend should proceed.  You are a vessel, you do not get to choose how you are filled.

A partner to being non-judgmental is acceptance.  In this space your friend should be able to say whatever she needs to say, she should be able to cry or vent or be in whatever part of her process that needs to be.  Be there for them, that is enough.  If your mind is full of things you could change or fix, quiet your mind by using the mantra:

“I am here for _____.  
I support ______.  
I accept _____.”  

When you accept someone for who they are in the present moment, there is no desire to change or fix or improving them because they are exactly where they need to be.

Your whole attention is focused on your friend.  You are keeping eye-contact with them.  You are listening to them with your whole being.  You will know if they need a response from you, otherwise don’t interrupt, add, or comment, your words unless asked for only will only distract your friend.  Your silence will nurture them and allow them to have space to think where they can look at their words and thoughts and see how to progress.  Your support by just being there can give them a silent strength that they needed in order to grow and take their next steps.

It is not an easy thing to do because our ego wants to get in the way so it is a learning process of quieting our inner critics and voices in order to make room for someone else for a while.  But I believe we are equally healed by the process.  It is by giving of ourself without motive or process that we learn truths about ourselves that have remained hidden in all the inner chatter and noise.  

Namaste  (I bow to the Divine in you)

(I used "friend" and "her" to describe this process but it could be anyone or even a group of people.)

I accept each and every one of you where you are on your journey.  I sit without judgment in total acceptance.  This is a sacred space.  Namaste

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So my friend Fran has been making this for 10 years!  There was a time when her hands bothered her so much she couldn't work on it but thankfully, lately, they are better and she is able to crochet again.

This is Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper in filet crochet.  It is stunning.  I had the honor of blocking it with her.  This picture is a before blocking shot.  I am so, so proud of her!  This is just amazing.

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I am in love with double knitting!

Here is my crab potholder that I just finished.  I am in love with it.  The crab design was created by Regina Schoenfeldt.  She has a lot of beautiful designs on her Ravelry Page.

I've been using an edging that I really love.  It is clean and easy to do as long as you follow a few simple steps.

For this tutorial, the green stitches represent the MC (main color) stitches and the blue stitches represent the CC (contrasting color) stitches for side one and then they will switch place for side two and the MC will be blue whereas the CC will be green.

On your first row, just do what you always do for double knitting: 

• Knit with the MC yarn in the back of your work
• Bring the MC yarn to the front of your work and purl in the CC yarn, which is already in the front of the work.

Follow your chart across the row until the last pair of stitches.

When you get to your last pair of stitches.  Make sure the working yarns are laying like this. 

You will slip the green stitch (MC) purlwise from the left-hand needle to the right-hand needle with both yarns in the back of your work.

Then you want to make sure the blue stitch (CC) is laying over the green working yarn (MC) before you bring it to the front.

This is the crucial element that holds the two colors together on the edge.

Once your blue working yarn
(CC) is in front of your work.  Slip the last blue stitch (CC) on your left-hand needle purlwise to the right-hand needle and you have completed the right-hand edge.

Now we are back to the left-hand edge.

When you turn your work it will look like the picture.

The blue working yarn (MC) is in the back alone and the green working yarn (CC) is in the front alone.

Knit the blue stitch (MC) with only the blue (MC) working yarn in the back of your work

Bring the (MC) to the front and purl the green (CC) with the green working yarn.  Both working yarns are in the front.

Finally, bring both working yarns to the back to begin the normal progression across the row until you get to the last pair of stitches and then repeat the process.

And that's it!  

Thanks for reading!

If you have any questions regarding this or any of my other tutorials, please feel free to leave a question in the comments.

Happy Crafting,

Ruinwen
:D

In the Pink

In my life-changing goal of eating better, I decided to pick up some beets.  I have always loved beets.  I especially love the way the dye everything pink that you put with them.  :) 

I have never eaten beets with anything more than a little salt so I decided to try something new.  I read how they coupled well with Dijon mustard and balsamic vinegar, so I whipped up a little emulsion to try it out and they were delicious!

Here is my little recipe. (180 calories)

2 – Cups of beets

1 – Tbsp olive oil

1 –  Tsp balsamic vinegar (1 tsp is equal to 1/3 tbsp)

2 – Tbsp Dijon mustard

½ – a cup of diced onions (red will make it sweeter)

4 – cloves of garlic diced (less if you don’t like garlic)

Dash of pepper

They say a perfect vinaigrette will have a 3 to 1 ratio:  oil and vinegar respectively.  I was counting calories here so I didn't want to make a lot, and a little goes a long way, but you can double or triple the recipe as long as you keep the 3 to 1 ratio as your base.

I put the oil and vinegar together with the pepper and the cloves of garlic diced and whisked it together in a glass bowl.  The Oil and vinegar will separate as soon as you leave it alone for a bit but I like to meld my garlic into my vinaigrette as I finish the other prep work.

Dice up your onion.  Cry if you have to.

Then I whisked in the Dijon just enough to blend it in and then added in the onions as well.

My beets came out of a can just as red and beautiful as they could be.  If you use fresh you need to peel them and you can boil them a bit or eat them raw. 

I placed the beets into the Dijon emulsion and tossed them so they were all covered and let them sit a bit.

At this point, you can eat them as is or put them on a salad.  I put mine over some lentil rice I had and let everything turn pink and heat up a bit.  It was delicious!  And beats are really good for you too!

This is where I have been walking on my elliptical this week.  They really got me with the whole Hawaii angle.  Next year we plan to go and scatter Mom’s ashes as she requested.  I love Hawaii, which everyone says…but I really do.  You can feel the spirit of the island and it is just magical in a way that can’t be explained.  So when my elliptical came with two tracks in Maui, I was really excited.

I have never done more than a mile on an elliptical but for the chance to walk in Maui I managed 2.5!  Every time I was going to give up I thought about how much I love Hawaii and then there would be falls or a shot of the ocean and I was back in stride. 

It is hard to take 30 – 35 minutes just to walk; but I am doing it.  It doesn't matter if I’m tired or whatever…I’m just doing it. 

This week I lost a pound, took at least 3000 steps a day, ate in my allotted calories, walked 3 times for 30 - 35 minutes, tried new healthy food dishes, got at least 7.5 hours of sleep a night and I feel really great.

We are working on the joining of the squares...it is a long process.  Anything worth doing is worth doing well.  :)

Hugs and happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

There Are No Words

Here is the batik motif all completed.  I LOVE it!  I am so happy with the way it came out.  The colors stayed true even after soaking for 8 hours.  All the wax came out really easily once I got the water boiling.

This is what the wax looks like when it rises to the top and cools.  It was easy to peel off and dispose of using this method.  When I tried to pull it off while it was hot, it made a huge mess.  I thought this picture of my sister's blue water looked like the moon.  :)

But what is amazing, incredible and just gorgeous is my Hue Shift Blanket.  All four squares are complete. Since we are doing each step together, they are only laid out here to show you what the completed blanket will aspire towards.  OMG!  This is so lovely.  I am so proud of myself that I kept up with it and got this far!

Yes, there are ends, seams and borders still...but wow that is 100 squares there!

Baby steps lead to amazing things.

We got the elliptical this week.  It is amazing!  I hopped right up and did 10 minutes before I realized it was on some crazy program with steeper and steeper inclines and I had to stop.  But it really was a smooth experience and after 10 minutes with the incline program, I was sweating.  I will do 10 minutes every other day for a week and then bump it up to 15.  I'm trying to work up to 20 minutes every other day.  I will do something on the alternate days when we get the Total Gym set up again; right now I'm just doing crunches and lunges and some other exercises for 20 minutes.

That is on top of my walking.  I have consistently walked 3000 steps now for about a month so I have bumped that up to 3500.  I know that really isn't a lot, but for me who sits at a desk most of the day, it really is.  I have to really work to get those extra steps in.  When I started the program I only was only walking 1500 and now I'm up to 3000.  I'm pretty proud of that.

When I started I was 167.  I thought the 7 was a 1 and totally misread my weight.  lol  So now the 7 is a 1 and I have lost 6 pounds over the course of 6 weeks.  I want to lose a pound a week so that this is a lasting life change and not some quick fix.  I'll be at goal in October and that is fine with me.

A scale is just a number.  I love myself no matter what size I am.  But my joints, they let me know when I'm getting over my BMI and about three months ago I couldn't barely move when I woke up in the morning. Also, I refuse to buy new clothes when I have so many nice things.  Some of my clothes had gotten a little too tight and I knew that was a sign as well.

Just losing 6 pounds has lessened the joint pain and I have so much more energy.  I have eaten under calories all month and have really been trying to insert more fruits and veggies in my diet.  It is hard when I am at a desk all day but I have found little things that really work for my lifestyle.

Today my UP decided it would start in on my fiber intake.  I'm averaging around 15% where it wants me to be at 25%.  Sigh.  Being healthy takes a lot of steps and each is like a color on my squares.  Individually they might not seem to mean much but when you intertwine them with other health-building squares you can really see the impact that they have on the body.  In this case, I am the creation.  The diamond in the rough.  The blanket of beautiful hues.  And each step, each day of calorie counting, each workout, each time I go to bed on time and all the little things I do for me, add up into a beautiful whole.

The blanket has taught me so much and it will always be a gorgeous reminder of what you can accomplish when you take a step at a time and just keep pushing forward.  In the end, you will have something lasting and worthwhile.  The journey is just as important as the goal.

What will be your first step?

Hugs!
Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

For Want of a Nail

For Want of a Nail

For want of a nail, the shoe was lost.

For want of a shoe, the horse was lost.

For want of a horse, the rider was lost.

For want of a rider, the message was lost.

For want of a message, the battle was lost.

For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

In this old proverb, one negative event caused a butterfly effect of cascading effects that lost the kingdom.

I remember a story about a Duke and how one beautiful day he pricked his finger with his tie pin.  After that he yells at his wife and then she yells at a servant and so the circle goes around until the stable boy hits a cat with a rock.  The offense is brought back to the Duke and all the people involved in a backward chain of blame are brought in until most of his staff is in the room.  And then his wife turns to him and says you were the one that yelled at me, to begin with.  Then he apologizes, and each person apologizes to the one they wronged and the cat gets some overdo lovin’.  The castle is happy again and everyone is smiling and laughing and going about their day as if nothing had happened.

This magical life changing element of butterfly affected fate can go either way.  Some things in our life are just partners that we take for granted until they have a problem: like say…alarm clocks.  An alarm clock just does its job when it has been asked to do so.  Yet, we curse at it and hit it and beg it each morning.  Instead, we could be blessed that this is our herald to a new day: we should be happy that we live to see another day on this beautiful Earth. 

When I wanted to find a new path to help me stay in shape and make lasting daily routines, I bought a Jawbone UP.  This little blue bracelet that sits on my wrist is a constant reminder that I am committed to a new and healthier lifestyle.  It is my partner in this endeavor.  It tells me if I have sat for an hour with a gentle reminder.  It is my alarm clock that goes off slowly bringing me to a new and beautiful day.  It counts my steps and reminds me when I still have a way to my daily goal.

I love my UP.  Together we have found out that I’m a good sleeper who can do really well with 7 hours of sleep but 8 hours is better.  So it came up with a bedtime for me based on the time I wake up that is perfect for me. It reminds me a half-hour before I have to be in bed so I can make sure I actually get there on time.

I wanted to walk at least 3000 steps a day, which I know isn't really much, but for me, it is perfect.  I was only logging in 1500 when I started the UP program and now I am consistently getting 3000.  My UP started making the goal of 3500 for me this weekend and I met it each day.  My UP motivates me and hitting those goals makes me feel better about my self.  It is my nail story in reverse: my butterfly effect creating good health.

Once the sleep and the steps had been figured out I wanted to start tracking what I eat.  I wanted something that was easy to use and that would work with my UP.  I found Lose It.  Lose It and the UP started talking right away.  If I have burned a certain percentage of calories then the UP will tell Lose It and give me a few extra calories to eat that day.

Lose It is easy to use and it is on my tablet, phone or computer.  I can set motivating goals there too.  What’s great is that it gives me the number of calories based on my lifestyle, which the UP was happy to share the deets on.  I can plan my meals ahead for the day so I know exactly what I am eating and stick to it.

The next thing to change is our scale.  It is a bit old and I thank it for all it has done but it keeps fluctuating between five-pound differences when I weigh three times in a row, which can be a little frustrating.

Our new scale will talk Lose It through WI Fi.  Both applications will know exactly where I am at.  The new scale has the BMI stuff too so I can start measuring all that again.  I look at BMI as a guideline.  When you don’t seem to be losing any weight, yet your BMI numbers are changing it shows me that somewhere things are moving around and getting tighter.

Lastly, during our stay-cay this year we have planned to figure out a way to work out.  Things will have to be shifted around so all three of us can have time to work out but it will happen.  We are going to fold up the cat cages that aren't used anymore and re-hook up our Total Gym.  I just bought a Nordic Track elliptical machine as well since it works both the upper and lower body in a low impact way.  I got a good deal on it with the holiday discount and an extra 10% off that price.  :)

All for the want of my UP.  :)

We batiked cotton shirts last week.  It was a fun process full of learning curves and hot wax.  To make this shirt I blew up an image and pinned it under the cotton.  Next time I will get a wash away pencil and draw the image on.  Next, came the careful drawing of the wax onto the cotton with a tjianting tool.  This was not as easy as I had thought and I wished that I had taken the time to test it first.  But c’est le vie.

Lines?  What lines?  Yep, the wax ran all over the place before I could stop it.  Next, I filled in the lines with chakra colors.  I had wanted to ROGVIB but yellow was the first I used.  Again, c’est le vie.  I blended each of the new colors into the old for a cool effect.  Then I wrapped my shirt in saran and let it sit over night.

In the morning I waxed the entire flower on both sides with a brush.  The brushed wax didn't penetrate to the other side the way the tjianting tool had.  I let that dry.

I got a wash basin and poured pink in it a little at a time.  I rubbed the pink into the white to get gradient effects and kept rubbing until all the dye was gone.  As you can see some spots were still white and that was okay.  I really am happy with the way the pink blended in.

Next is the really long step, getting the wax out of the cotton.  One of the ways to do that is to boil it out.  I still have to do this step as you can see the shirt is totally covered in wax.  It takes a really long time and you have to make sure the water is boiling when you put the shirt in.  We tried it with my husband's shirt and it took most of the day before the water even began to boil.  So I will finish this next week when I can put the water on at 6 and then boil my shirt for half of the day and then let it cool and scoop the wax off the top.  But I do really love the way it is coming out and I can't wait to proudly wear it.

I helped out my sister's friend by helping her discover the pattern for a project she had misplaced.  It took a bit of time to unknit it and write down the chart as I went.  I was actually quite proud of my self to be able to figure it all out and get it recharted for her.  So I will have to catch up on squares next week.  I should be able to double them up since I will be on my stay-cay and there will be plenty of chill time.  :)  Sorry there is no picture.  My camera and computer are fighting at the moment.  lol 

Here is my progress on the Awesome Trellis!  I am so thrilled with this stitch.  I love the gentle change in color between the skeins.  I am very happy with the way this is knitting up.  Yay!

Happy Crafting!

Ruinwen

:)

ETA:  I am not affiliated with any of the companies that are associated with the products mentioned in this post.  This is what works for me and I am sharing my progress and how I am achieving it.  Thanks!

Do Or Do Not There Is No Try

"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live, and love."
-- Leo Buscaglia

In the past, I talked about how I was stuck in this no-win situation.  I was afraid to fail; I was scared to succeed   I had talked myself into a stalemate where I just couldn't win.  But, I'm over that.  I have opened up the flood-gates to the Universe to help me in creating a better self and I am open to whatever they send to me.

I've been teaching, designing, planning a knitting cruise (more on that in later posts) and now I'm honored to be teaching at Knitter's Day Out.  My bio is on the same page as so many wonderful knitters and I'm just kind of pinching myself.  This really is a dream come true to be able to teach in such a wonderful venue surrounded by such amazing talent.

I am doubly happy that I will be able to teach the pattern the Frederick Shawl that honors my parents.  I can't really show the shawl yet so the little slice of linen stitch above will have to suffice for now.  I am so elated with the flow of this pattern.

This is Schaefer's Miss Priss in Gertrude Elion.  Schaefer is one of my favorite yarns for so many reasons.  Their colorways are named after famous women.  The yarn is so vibrant and wonderful to work with.  Sadly, Schaefer closed it's doors last year that is why I have no link for them.  I've been buying all the last stock that my LYS has, since this wonderful yarn will soon only be a memory woven in my projects and sitting in my stash.

Speaking of my stash, I tried to organize it a bit.  I swear I think the wool actually is breeding in my craft boxes, or maybe I just keep buying in my sleep.  Hmmmm.  I'm also working on organizing my patterns as well.  I've been taking all my silly notes and problem solving for my patterns and keeping them in a folder with sides and I put all my swatches in there as well.  That way my whole creative process is right there in one place.

Most of the week I spent organizing; there is always so much to do!  I've been trying to catch up on all the little things that I've let slide and I was able to take care of quite a few of them.

This week I have been happy to eat the produce as it comes in season.  We had such horrible bitter tomatoes this winter that it really forced me to eat foods that were more in season like squash and zucchini.  But now, there are radishes and tomatoes without all that acid available again and it makes me very happy.  I created a little salad for myself with gluten-free/dairy-free cheese and a safe dressing of berries and vinegar and it was so good.  I love salads.  I just have to be so careful with everything.

Right after Christmas, I started a food elimination program to help determine why I was doubling over in pain after meals.  For the first month, I ate nothing but all whole foods containing none of the big four contaminants: gluten, dairy, fructose and yeast.  This was a hard diet to maintain.  I found the foods I could eat and that was it.

I started to really look into food.  I've always been conscious about my dining decisions but I really had to dig deep into each food to see what might be lurking inside.  For instance chicken; many chickens are injected with things even though they say "all-natural".  I couldn't trust anything.  So this was truly an eye-opening experience to my food consumption.

I tested each of the "big four" and if a test was negative I could add that food back in.  It was a long process and now I know that I am dairy intolerant (not just lactose) and gluten intolerant.  This is on top of my citrus allergy which is much more dangerous.

So for the past few months I've been adjusting to this new diet and I've been working out what I can eat.  The biggest thing is cheese.  I miss my cheese; so I've been trying the soy cheeses and I've found one that melts and tastes pretty good.  It comes in a few flavors and I still have to try the cream cheese.  The crumbles melted and stretched like mozzarella should.   The pepper-jack had a nice heat to it and melts like a dream on my tuna.

But my biggest regret was all the deserts that I wouldn't be able to eat anymore.  In rushes Sterling Sweets to the rescue!  Their deserts are gluten free, dairy free, vegan, casein free, soy free, sesame free, peanut and tree nut free, refined sugar free and Kosher!  I find them all so delectable.  My favorite is the Coconut Chocolate Bars...they are like the This-over-that squares my Mom used to make.  I put in an order each week and they come fresh right from the kitchen.

So, all these diet restrictions take getting used to but I'm working my way through them to find a healthy balance.  I've lost that five pounds I couldn't lose and I've been maintaining my weight for about three months now.  At some point I'd like to start working out again but for now I just have to be content with the calories burned while knitting; which for my height and weight is 30 calories per hour.

Have a safe and beautiful Memorial weekend.
Ruinwen
:)