Motivation

Some double knitting that I am working on.

On this rainy, foggy morning I find it hard to get going.  This is the kind of day that you just want to hit the snooze bar, roll over and go back to sleep.

Only I didn’t, because that isn’t what I want for my day.

I know there are things that are scheduled for today that need to get done.  I know there are things that I want to achieve today.

I see chores as blessings that I do for my house and my family.  I see healthy choices as blessings that I do for myself.  I see errands as the oil that greases the cogs that run our lives and they are blessings as well.

I start the day by being thankful that I can start another day.  I have gratitude for our part of the world waking up, the birds starting to chirp, the rain falling on the roof, the sun painting colors across the sky and our little house starting to stir.

I also start the day with a plan.  I have three things planned that must happen on top of the things that always happen.  If I am sick or depressed or whatever then those three things can be simple and my schedule is flexible to allow for these days.  Even the moon can’t show her shining face all the time, once a month she turns inward.

On these days I probably won’t get my steps or get a lot of knitting done.  I might ask for assistance in getting out the trash or doing the cat box.  Even if I have tasks in my journal for the day they probably will be arrowed to the next day.  There is no shame or guilt in that.  If I don’t feel good enough, I take care of myself.  If you can’t take care of yourself, then how can you be there for others?

We are such complex beings, some days it seems overwhelming the amount of care that it takes to be nourished and hygienic, for lack of a better word.  As you get older you add routines to your routines to take care of all the little things that you never imagined would be part of your daily life.  

But, I find that I feel totally renewed after my shower.  I feel amazing after a walk or a workout.  A meal that I created and put my energy into, stays with me and nourishes my soul as well as my body.  

How you choose to see everything, becomes how it is.  For instance, I could choose to see eating within my calories as a total pain and it would be just that.  But, what if I chose to see it as a game.  My meals are like a puzzle that I have to unravel in order to stay within my calorie count and fullness meter.  Now, when I get up I start planning how the food that I’m going to eat is going to work for the day into my calorie count.  And, yes, I have an app for that.  I use Lose It.  I have been using it forever and I love it.

But that wasn’t my point…your motivation, in any endeavor, from getting up in the morning to making your dreams come true is based on how you choose to see how that endeavor fits into your life.

Dreading doing the laundry…makes it dreadful.  Being thankful for clean clothes makes you appreciate the variety and amount of clothes that you have.  When all the clothes are clean and the beds are washed I just feel amazing going to sleep that night.  Clean covers, clean bedclothes, make for the best sleep!

Is it easy all the time?  No, of course not.  But I have found it does get easier if you have a positive attitude.  Things that I really struggled with in the beginning are just becoming part of my day now.

Don’t laugh but the hardest thing for me was cleaning the cat box.  Hubby used to do it and then I took it over to shave off some of his morning chore time.  In the beginning, it really hurt my back to scoop the boxes.  I ended up having to stretch before and after scooping to get through it.  And that was just sad.

But after getting back to walking again and achieving my steps each day, the pain just totally disappeared.  I can scoop to my heart’s content and there is no fear of pain or putting it off until later in the day.  I just do it.   

I wonder if my changed attitude towards my kitties happiness has anything to do with the lack of so many misses outside the box?  It seemed that they were missing every day and there was that extra task of cleaning it all up.  But now, they only miss once and a while and that is great!

Regardless our three purry furries are worth it!

Frost, Kitsune and Shadow

The point is, there are some things in life we can’t change, but most things we can alter our perception of how they will impact us through a positive attitude, perseverance patience and belief in yourself and your abilities.  

Start your positive attitude mantra with saying I AM…and say it in the present tense.

I AM eating healthy.

I AM working out today.

I AM knitting five rows.

I AM going to clean the catbox.

When you say I AM you are creating reality.  If you don’t believe that words have power and are made up of energy, that is okay.  But think of how many I AM negative statements you say every day that you believe and have believed for all or most of your life.

And those negative I AM statements have power.  They silently sabotage you and create doubt in your self and your abilities.  And they have been doing it without any resistance from you.

Those negative voices always get louder when you are about to embark on change.  Our inner critic hates change.

So it is up to you to change the dialogue you hear in your head.  These are just a few examples.

Instead of I AM so stupid say I AM thinking before I act

Instead of I AM fat say I AM making healthy life choices

Instead of I AM lazy say I AM full of energy and purpose

Instead of I AM not good enough say I AM always good enough

You need to retrain your brain to think in the positive instead of the negative.  It can be difficult because you have been thinking negativity for so long.  

What I had to do to break out of my destructive “I AM not good enough” cycle was to first create a dialogue with myself.

“Not good enough” is so vague.  To whose standards am I not good enough…and for what?  This negative mantra I kept saying to myself was because I didn’t believe that my Dad thought I was good enough.

Dad left me a letter which went on to say how proud he was of me…this didn’t give my “not good enough” voice much credence, now did it?  

So then I had to ask myself if Dad didn’t believe that about me then who was I seeking approval from?  Myself?  Really?

At this point, I knew something needed to change in me.  So I started saying “release” every time that “not good enough” thought would come up.  I would think of a handler with a dog that had been trained to let go when the command “release” was given and soon my negative thought had to loosen its hold on me.

Then I started thinking what would my life be like if I was “good enough”  I would be a designer…well, wait I am a designer.   

I would be better at math…well, wait I can balance a checkbook, do my own taxes and convert grams to inches in a patten so yeah, next?

That negative voice didn’t want to give up, but each time I said “release” I could feel something changing in me until I believed that I was good enough…I AM good enough.

It took time and patience and all this didn’t happen overnight but any relationship, including the one with yourself, is worth the time and effort you put into it.

Why all this psycho-babble?  This is my shining moment and I can feel all the “not good enoughs” and “so stupids” trying to push back in.  I can feel the anxiety ready to ramp up when it realizes that I AM walking my talk.

I AM a Creatrix!

I AM a designer!

I AM thinking before I act!

I AM a teacher!

I AM a knitter!

I AM a believer!

To all those negative voices I say, “NOT TODAY.  NOT TOMORROW.  NOT EVER!”

This is my moment, the one I worked for since the day I put on the designer label.  This is the reason I research stitches and I teach others how to make them.  

I believe in my self…I AM taking a deep breath…and now I start the first stitches on a new journey.

*drops needles*

*******

On the knitting front, I am working on Page's Blanket and the above creation.  It is a present for someone so I am hesitant to show it fully.  I love double knitting; it amazes me each and every time when the pattern creates itself on the back as I knit it on the front.

I have learned a whole lot over the years on how to make my edges neater and some really nifty cast-ons and bind-offs.

I will share some of that knowledge with you next week when I can get assistance in taking pictures or maybe filming some of the steps.

In the meantime,

Thanks for stopping by.  :D

Happy Crafting,

Ruinwen

*Achievement Get*

This is a little creek by our house.  At the beginning of Summer, the water was up to the asphalt you see on the right.  The ground was super saturated so much that when it rained we had flash flooding for a good part of three weeks.  Then we got the heat.  After the high heat temps, the water tables are down, the big storms that were a daily occurrence weeks ago gave way to hot and humid temps with dangerous air quality.  And this week, the temps are down and the air is cooler and easier to breathe again.  

I feel a lot like this little creek.  There have been so many changes and extremes in my life but I just keep on going with the flow.  Some days I bubble over in happiness and some days I just get so bogged down in feelings that I can hardly breathe...but I keep going forward regardless.  Some times my momentum is only inches, but always forward.

I finished updating the blog this week.   *achievement get*

I made my step count each day.  *achievement get*

I ate in calories all week.  *achievement get*

DH and I walked 3 times this week. *achievement get*

I worked at least four hours every day (most days more).  *achievement get*

I cleaned at least three hours every day.  *achievement get*

I feel like I slipped back in where I left off and it seems so easy and seamless.  I enjoy writing the blog.  I enjoy eating well.  I enjoy feeling energized and awake from a previous day well spent.  I just feel stupidly, giggly...happy.  

Things are getting done.  Goals are being achieved.  My life is being well-lived and I am so...blessed...thankful...and full of joy.

Here is a bit of fibery goodness...

This is Page's Blanket.  It got too hot to work on it for a while.  I love the Classic Ripple pattern.  It is a pretty easy knit when you get used to the pattern.  But there are some tricky spots.  Let me help you navigate through them if you are new to knitting.

Multiples of 12 + 3

This pattern is two rows that are repeated until you achieve your length.  You can change colors or use a variegated yarn like this one.  This is Plymouth Yarn: Hotcakes - #006 - Garden Mix.

Row 1:     

K1, sl 1, K1, PSSO, * K9, CCD  * repeat from * across, to last 12 stitches, K9, K2tog, K1.

Row 1 Abbreviations

PSSO - pass slipped stitch over the knitted one

CDD - central double decrease (two stitches decreased) - insert the left-hand needle into the next the two stitches, at the same time, as if you were going to knit them and slip them to the right-hand needle, K1, pass the two slipped stitches over the knit stitch

Note: after the 1st row, make sure to work the P1, YO, P1 from the previous row in the same order so the YO falls in the right place each time.  It sometimes helps to fan out the stitches if they are all sticking together.

Row 2:

P6, *(P1, YO, P1), P9 * repeat from * across, to last 7 stitches, (P1, YO, P1), P6

Row 2 Abbreviations

(P1, YO, P1) - (two stitches increased) - purl 1 but leave the stitch on the left-hand needle, yarn over, purl again into the same stitch, let stitch drop off of the left-hand needle

And that's it!

Have a great week!

Happy Crafting,

Ruinwen

Pardon the Dust on Memory Lane

So, DH and I did it!  We revamped the blog and now I have the ocean in the background and a new color scheme.  I really love it.  The colors in the water are amazing and if you listen, you can almost hear the waves breaking on the sand.

But everything is far from complete.  I need to go through all the entries and add tabs so that you dear readers, can choose what you decide to read.

This revamp has forced me to journey back in time to a place where Mom and Dad were still here and some of those memories are heart-wrenching.  For instance, a blog post about a buttery yellow yarn included memories of Mom’s cooking with butter.  

We were discussing at the beach how recipes never seem to come out like they are in our heads if they were cooked by our loved ones.  I think it is the love and happiness of cooking for others that are missing.  That is why my mashed potatoes will never taste like Nana’s, and I am totally okay with that.

That is what this blog is, memories of a journey that I started in part because of Sallee and Kittin’ Chicks (my old LYS, now out of business).  I had been knitting since Mom had taught me how for a Camp Fire Girl bead but it was just knitting back then.

When I started going to Kittin’ Chicks I found a community and then Ravelry extended that community.  I got into blogging and met Sallee and she encouraged me to put my trials, tribulations, joys, and triumphs into words and I created this blog in 2004.

This blog has seen me at my best and my worst.  I never sugar-coated things.  I always tried to speak from my truth even if it was different then my readers.  For a while, I got away from knitting because my knitting creative muse was quiet.  I instead found creativity in a strange new exciting source and that was Minecraft.  Minecraft is something I really enjoy and I have created some really beautiful things that I am super proud of.

But this is why I need tabs to separate these areas of my life so you dear readers can only see the parts you wish to see.

I have since found my way back to knitting, it never really left me.  It just made me think too much about Mom.  I wanted to celebrate the gift she had shared with me, but instead, it only made me sad.

But now I see it as a homage to her and I want to honor her through my craft.  I have been on quite a journey since 2004 when all I knew how to do was knit.  Fast forward to today and I am a designer, a teacher and an advanced knitter who loves new challenges and is always excited to learn new things.

It makes me sad that we lost a few things in the move but I am eager to create new memories on this journey.

So for a bit, please pardon the dust as we update and lose a few things that were precious, dust off others and try to divide down the moments as best we can.  I am working at a snail’s pace since I want to read each entry and the comments as I enjoy a peek back on memory lane.

In knitting news I have two classes coming up next month at KDO and one secret project that I will share when I am allowed.  I’ve never had a secret project before.  This is an exciting new part of my journey and I am really blessed to be given this opportunity.  I also get to knit with new yarn which, is always a plus!

Happy Knitting!

Ruinwen

The Art of Blocking My Time

"...focus on the journey, not the destination. 

Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it."

-- Greg Anderson

As I look out over the water I find myself at a place of introspection.  It has been a year since I posted and I miss it.

My life has changed drastically since last year.  I quit my job to create.  There is so much I know how to do that I love to do and the finances have changed where I can do it.

I started with a schedule that breaks the day into designated time blocks or slots.  This really works for me.  Having time for something ensures that it gets done.

My blocks look something like this:  (I added a few things after my read through that I want to incorporate into my day.)

Time Allocated	Primary Block	Secondary Block	Tertiary Block
5:30 am - 8:30 am	Wake up Breakfast Clean up breakfast See Hubby off Catch up on games Shower Meditation	Organize day Fill in planner	Walk or Yoga Pull up weeds Start laundry
8:30 am - 11:30 am	Work Block Make patterns Test patterns Clean up patterns Chart patterns	Make samples for classes Knit on designs Write e-mails Post on social media	Think about a blog topic for the week Brainstorm ideas Move laundry to the dryer
11:30 am - 1:30 pm	Lunch Catch up on games Clean up lunch	Catch up on e-mail	Put away laundry
1:30 pm - 4:30 pm	Clean house Clean cat box Get mail Sort mail Process mail File mail	Start making dinner	Errands Visits Shopping Appointments Bills
4:30 pm - 7:30 pm	Dinner Clean up dinner Catch up on games Welcome Hubby home Hang with family	Watch shows Chill
7:30 pm - 9:30 pm	Relax Get ready for bed Prayers Spiritual time Gratitude Journal Meditation Reiki	Check-in on journal progress Check-in on step progress Check-in on calorie progress	Put away any remaining laundry Clean up the kitchen sink Pull out any frozen meat for next days’ dinner

So the goal here is to do most of if not all of the Primary Block tasks.  This set of blocks are geared toward furthering my knitting career.  But they could be changed to herbal-based blocks, spirituality, gaming, writing or any of the things that I love to do.

Right now the focus is on knitting, honoring my self, honoring the house, quality time with family and friends and having fun. 

This has really helped me to focus.  I cut out the list and put it in my planner and think about what things I want to focus on that day and try and create a well rounded day that touches on everything that is important to me.

If I don’t get to everything in the blocks I don’t beat myself up about it.  For instance,  I may spend an hour weeding but not be able to walk one day and that is okay.  Weeding is actually a physical activity and burns a bunch of calories.

Learning how to extend compassion and understanding to myself is one of my big challenges.  I am very hard on myself and I don’t really know why.  I really don’t want to be.

Having a journal has been a big help to me in this regard.  I make sure to check off completed activities so that I can see everything that I did that day.  At the end of the day, it is such a powerful boost to see all those check marks on the page!

Each day I make a little progress towards my goals and I am full of such joy!  It is strange how completing a pattern or cleaning the house can bring such peace, but they really do for me.

I am excited to start this next chapter of my journey towards creating a beautiful life that is full of family, friends, pets, love, spirituality, compassion, career, fun, happiness, prosperity and joy.

You are more than welcome to join me,

Bright Blessings!

Happy Knitting!

Ruinwen

:)

BTW:  The journal that I use is this.  I like it because it helps me to create an action list from my current goals that I can then break down into steps.  It also has spirituality woven into it.  There is plenty of room to make little bullet lists for water or steps.  Dragontree is a fabulous place.  Hubby loves the pain patches and we always have a stock of them.

Also, I am going to focus on posting on Wednesday each week.  

We really are hoping to create a new blog template that separates the knitting, herbal and gaming so that you can have a better experience.  That is in the works.

BB  :)

Musings Amid Bubbles

So this came to me in the shower today and I couldn't stop rhyming until I wrote it down.  Imagine a beat or snapping fingers...which is more of a beatnik thing...but you get the gist.

Hey, I’m not a rapper so this might not rhyme

But all existence has a beat; you just have to keep time.

I find myself halfway through this dance

Still enchanted by rainbows and romance

All those words people say

About kindness is the better way

Through and through

Those words are true

I can live that grind

Make each day sublime

But after all this distance

It's in the temple I get resistance

In a hurry

All that worry

Can weigh me down

Make it hard to turn my frown around

I’m not a poser

Just a composer

Of my destiny

It needs to be nurtured carefully

Dreams need room to grow

Even if troubles come like an undertow

Trying to drag you down

Stand your ground

For what you believe

Don’t be deceived

When you dress

To impress

Is it the real you?

The one with true value

Or a mimic of a self

That you take off a shelf

To show the world a different mask

For each type of task

That you face in your day-to-day

But is this the only way?

Did anyone tell you, you get to choose?

What passion gets to be your muse

If things aren’t going your way

Don’t take it out on the next player in the play

You can rewind

And be kind

Make a smile

Your new lifestyle

You choose

To refuse

Or accept a way of being

That is totally freeing

From all that negativity and strife

Generate a healthier life

All that stuff I don't need, I dismiss

Instead, I choose to live my bliss.

R

Nature's Bounty

So last week I was doing a little gardening and ran into some nettles.  From that point on I did everything wrong.  I had a nettle in my finger and removed it and cleaned the area and I thought that was it.  But, I was very, very wrong.

Later, I would find nettles in my arm that were surrounded by blisters so I could not remove them with tape.  I used hot water to clean off the area instead of cold and that made the stinging pain escalate.  Then I had an allergic reaction to the whole mess.

It is so much better now.  There are only little pricks of pain because the rash burned off the top of skin on my arm; like a sunburn.  But yeah, so happy the itching is gone.  I never scratched because I didn't want infection on top of everything so I was a little crazy for the last week.  I couldn't retain info for more than a moment in some situations.  But Praise the Goddess, all that is over with.

Here is actual info if you do run into nettles.  In most cases, they will not be as bad as mine.

• Wash the area with soap and water as soon as possible to relieve the sting and remove the nettle hairs. 
• If you suspect nettle hairs; use duct tape to remove them.
• Apply a paste of baking soda and water. 
• Avoid scratching or rubbing the itchy areas. 
• Use cool, light, bedding and clothing as this will help relieve itching. (everything will feel rough)
• Avoid extreme heat – have lukewarm baths and showers. (makes it sooo much worse!)
• Apply cold compresses. (ah...heaven)
• Apple cider vinegar or aloe can also be soothing.  (used both at different times)
• Try to stick to foods that are anti-inflammatory.  (turmeric anyone?)
• Antihistamines may relieve itching and swelling.   (may)
• A cream with hydrocortisone will reduce inflammation.  (1%)
• Make sure you wash everything that came in contact with the nettles.

The thing is while all this was going on with my skin, I was creating a new shawl design with a singular focus.  This was a project I started a while ago and it was nice to dust it off and work with it again.  I had made a sample and charted it.  When I went to pull up the chart it was unreadable since the software that had supported it was no longer working.

At that point with all the itching and crazy, I just wanted to give up.

But. I  didn't.  I worked on it a bit each day and fixed the problems I had with my sample.  I reverse-engineered the sample and was able to recreate the idea I originally hoped for.

I give you Nature's Bounty.  I really enjoyed creating this little shawlette.  It can be used to teach beginning lace since it starts small and grows.  It teaches how increases and decreases are paired so that you can control the growth of the shawl.  It also demonstrates how placing yarn overs in different places can shape the motif to form a curve.  It is one of the magical things I love about lace and I am happy that I got to work with some beautiful motifs in this shawl.

Bright Blessings!

Ruinwen

:)

Dressing Your Temple

I finished the prayer shawl and I am in love with the final product...absolutely smitten.  This shawl has such good energy that I can feel it pulsating with compassion, kindness, and community.

It makes me happy to hold it in my hands.  I wanted to design a prayer shawl for a while now but nothing seemed right.  But I drew this pattern up in less than an hour.  Tested it, tweaked it and started knitting it on the same day.  That is very rare in my world.  I felt it was a nod from the PTB (Powers That Be) to go ahead.  And here it is back from its photoshoot looking fabulous!

To go off on a tangent here…most people have decorated their homes with memories, colors, and themes that make them happy or have a special personal meaning.  But with our temples, our bodies, sometimes we get into ruts and just wear the same things over and over in the name of comfort or lack of time.

I am so guilty of the comfort style look.  I get up early and work in a place with no one but a dog and an occasional visitor.  I would rather be comfy then spiffy but there gets to be a point where comfy becomes complacent and turns into more of nightwear then day wear…you know what I mean right?

I used to dress with energy in mind and pay attention to my daily colors; I believe color can change or enhance your mood.  One reason I love spring and fall so much is the colors.  After a long winter, those pops of color are a healing balm for the soul.  As the cooler days of fall come in and the trees start to turn it is like nature is pulling up a blanket and telling us to slow down Winter is Coming…lol

By implementing Daily Color you use your day of birth to calculate how you are going to dress your temple that day. 

For instance, if red is your color of the day it would mean it is an auspicious time to begin something or try something new.  Red for me is also the color of Aries so it has a more intense meaning.

You can try it out here if your interest has been peaked.  On special days I try to dress to my strengths and harmonize my colors with the Universe.  Also, I have a set of scarves that have all the colors in them for tucking into my purse on days when I can’t find a thing to wear in the right color.

Back to the shawl...it is full of high vibration energy, connection with the divine through the crown chakra and the quiet energy of prayers and healing that come with the violet spectrum of color.  I hope that this shawl adorns the intended with good, holy, healing energy.

May your days be full of color and unexpected blessings!

Ruinwen

Things Forgotten

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it.
Georges Duhamel

I made this hooded caplet and I used it a lot last winter.  It is perfect for keeping the wind out and adding a layer of warmth.

This winter I found this.  Something had broken quite a few yarn strands and there was even a hole...I think a cat tried to eat it...not sure why.

I tried to fix it and ended up with this since the yarns kept on breaking.  While no one will probably even notice that the rows no longer line up; I do.  This means I need to undo everything I did to fix it and rip back a row in each direction to clean out the broken ends that I duplicate stitched.

Unfortunately, the damage was more extensive, the ends kept on breaking and I had to rip it out.  There was no saving the cowl.  I was able to save most of the yarn.  So when I knit something new with the yarn will it remember being a cowl?  Will it hold the spirit of all the warmth it gave me?  Will it mean more to me since the yarn is full of happy memories tinged with the loss of the cowl?

This got me thinking about memories and how we perceive them.  Often it is our point of view that determines how a memory is experienced by us.  A small child will remember an event differently than an adult.  If you were happy during the course of the memory you might remember the favorable parts of the event and forget any unpleasant ones.

I was often surprised when my parents told me of an event I remembered so clearly in a different way then I thought it happened.  Yet, they could have been the ones who had changed the story of the event in their minds.  The truth is really just your point of view at times even if everyone sees that differently.

One of the Reiki symbols can be used to change how you perceive an event.  You cannot change the past but you can change how you react to it.  You can take a painful memory and like the hole in my caplet, slowly rebuild it layer by layer.

People have strong beliefs that are challenged by others or new ideas and they change how they perceive things based on new information.  Changing a memory is really no different.

Another thing you can do it is to take away an emotional attachment to a certain memory or trigger.  Say you hate rain and every time it rains you get mad.  This anger serves no real purpose.  Maybe it is rooted in the fact that you slipped and fell on the championship game and let your team down.  You've let that one moment in time warp rain into a negative being almost.  Because you have this attachment to rain every time it starts to drizzle things will go bad for you.  This will only add fuel to a long-standing fire and cement the anger that begins to build when it rains.

If you could go back into that memory of falling at the big game and change it to something more positive then rain would just be rain again.  Not good or bad, just rain.  There would be no emotional attachment to it anymore.

Instead of focusing on failing everyone maybe you could remember how hard you did try.  You could remember that everyone slipped in the mud a bit that day and it had been a challenging time but you had done your best.  You could remember your coach telling you that it was okay because you had really grown over the year as a player.  The other team members chimed in about various plays you were a part of and how important you were to their team.

It might take a while to start to believe in your new story but as you do you will release those negative feelings towards rainy days and that you failed your team.  Maybe the following year you helped win the championship game and that fact had been lost in all that negativity that you had been wallowing in.  Now when you look at the trophy on your wall you will remember the friends and teammates, the fun and the hard work but you won’t be focused on the game you lost anymore.

So, no one will ever know the story of my cowl or whatever the yarn turns into this time and how it had a death experience from looking at it.  But I know...does that knowing change how I feel about it?  In truth, the hole, the mending, will all be forgotten as it continues on as a new project a new item with new stories to tell.

I feel this lesson that this cowl has taught me is an important one.  I've been asked to write up the pattern by a bunch of people.  I take notes for everything I make so I can create them again.  It is going into my enormous queue...but it will not be forgotten  :)

Speaking of forgetting things.  Memorizing lists has been shown in many cases to reconnect brain function.  So, working on a pattern with a bunch of repeats that you memorize is actually helping your brain get a good work out and keeping those pathways flowing.  Yet another benefit to knitting!

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen

:)

Growing Strong

I have been working on a prayer shawl for someone who just had some surgery and is having a rough time.  I also need to bring healing to our connection because of a misunderstanding which brought in a bit of a rift between us.  I am not making this shawl to gain any sort of ground in the personal matter because that would be wrong.  I just can’t stand to see anyone that I have been connected to in pain.

But with all knitting, this shawl has provided me with a feeling of new peace and I have enjoyed working on it.  I am about ½ done here.

I wanted to make something that echoed all the prayers and positive thinking and shaped them into a traveling vine that made its way across the shawl.  Each leaf helps the other and that strength builds to shape the vine into something truly wondrous.

I used three vines with leaves for the Trinity.  For me, that is the three faces of the Goddess: the Maiden, Mother, and Crone.  For you that might be Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Three is a holy number in most religions and everyone knows good things come in threes.

I like cables for stability.  They are like a winding staircase that holds everything together and lets the prayers climb higher along the shawl.

And finally, there is a slipped stitch because the motifs need some delineation between them in order to grow and not become lost in one another.

I used Knit Picks Mighty Stitch because I really like the vibrant colors and the softness of the yarn.  I chose the eggplant, mulberry, fairytale, wisteria and blush colors for the higher end of the spectrum which focuses on the third eye and crown chakra energy; also she likes purple.

The pattern is easy to follow and the repeats become easy to memorize.  The cables mix things up a bit so that it isn’t quite a mindless knit either.  

I've decided to call it my growing strong prayer shawl.

I hope to get this all worked up and tested and do a photoshoot before the end of summer.  But I need to focus on knitting it first.  lol

Happy Knitting,

Ruinwen

Hi World...

Hi.  I know that I’ve been gone for forever.

When Mom and Dad died I lost my voice.  I just couldn’t front all the time.

I wanted to be my happy little rainbows and unicorns self but it was just too hard to keep up the act when my heart was breaking.

That doesn’t mean that I curled up in a ball and kept out the world.  I kept working, knitting, gaming and enjoying my time with my friends and family.  But my special spark was gone.

I know that this is perfectly normal but I missed me; the real me that really meant all that happiness and stardust stuff she said.

Then, two weeks ago I went down to grab something for my knitting class and found out that a mouse had nestled down, chewed and nested in all the knitting that I have ever done for me and I think I broke through that void that had surrounded me for so long.

I finally found my voice though it was small at first; and it was very, very sad.

This blog is a record to most of those treasures which I still, have to get the courage to throw away.

The one that hurt the most is the blanket I made as Mom lay in the hospital recovering from her first cancer surgery.  It was Jared Flood’s Hemlock blanket and I loved that project.  I had so much trouble starting it because my hands were shaking worrying about Mom.  When I got it finished I bound off too tightly and I always vowed to fix it, but I never got there.  Now I will have to just toss it because it is the worst of all of them.  I know that it kept that mouse warm and it was so soft too; can I find comfort in that?

I made twin scarves for me and my sister to wear in Hawaii and mine is trashed and that makes me sad.  We buried Mom at sea in Hawaii, it was a beautiful ceremony even though I was seasick at the time.  The Kahu had the most serene and lovely voice and his blessing is a moment I will always treasure.  I am sorry to lose the twin to my sister’s scarf.

Each piece of knitting has a story.  My life and emotions at the time I made them is woven into the fabric and it hurts to just have to get rid of them.  Even though I can remake each of them, they will not have the spirit that they once had.  So I just have to let them go.  But the memories will remain here on these virtual pages and in my heart.

I'm not sure when I will write again.  But I do know that every once and a while I miss this blog with such fierceness.  It has allowed me to share a bit of my inner self that I don't always see when I write in its pages.  This blog has helped me to see things of valve that I can dust off or nurture that I have forgotten.  

This feels so perfect to be writing again.  Almost like a loose gear has slipped into place and there is a humming of happiness that is not a facade but rather a song that is bursting from my soul.

Bright blessings,

Ruinwen

Worth the Wait

I have realized something about myself; I am a patient person.  Over the years I have learned to calm the need that demands everything be instantaneously self-gratifying.  I think it is what makes me a good gamer and a good teacher.  The shot above our house in the Sky Element world. I razed almost the whole island on my own after taking down the jungle trees while hubby is building an amazing lower basement under the island.  To me, it was relaxing work and I truly enjoyed it.

As a teacher of knitting, there are many times when I will have to work on a project with a student so I can see where they are in order to help.  I have rewritten lost patterns by slowly deconstructing a piece and charting it as I go so that the knitter could have a new pattern to save and work by.  I have fixed errors and ripped back for knitters in order to get them back on track.  I have spent hours learning something that I didn't understand when a question was asked that I didn't know myself so that I could turn around and give good advice.  All of these things I really enjoyed doing.  They challenged me and allowed me to give back to the knitting community...most of all, they helped me empower someone else in the process.

I can't tell you the number of students who come back and tell me that now they are passing on and teaching someone else...this brings me great happiness.  There is always someone who can teach me and someone I can teach; it is an endless spiral of give and take and sharing and community and it makes me so happy to be a part of this beautiful fiber world.

I haven't designed any knitting for a while.  My focus has been on enjoying the process again, but I'm starting to feel the urge.  Pictured above is where I am on the sweater with the scarf that needs to be blocked in the driveway to reach the 7-foot mark that the pattern calls for.  So much lovely green.

I have been creating herbal concoctions and this is an enjoyable but slow process.  Herbs take time to steep in vinegar and oils and I am patiently waiting as they do their thing.

In the meantime, I have been writing new recipes where the herbs all blend together to form something amazing...like a community.  I've been slowly gathering new essential and carrier oils and creating a good strong foundation of essentials.

It feels good to watch things slowly come together; to have a supportive community that is eager to try my new herbal recipes and I am so thankful for all my testers who have helped me rediscover my love of herbs and how they can help us heal.

This weekend I played with red peppers.  Red chili peppers contain capsaicin which is a chemical that increases blood circulation and stops the pain transmitter receptors from reaching the brain by overloading them.  I am making a red chili pepper oil which will become a base for my new muscle rub.

If you do this be very careful, red chili pepper can burn the eyes and mucous membranes.  Use gloves when touching the peppers and never ever lean over to smell how yummy your peppers are.  I might have done this in my youth while I was ironing...you know multi-tasking.  And thank the Goddess that it didn't end in disaster because my eyes were burning to the point of there was nothing but pain in my head.  Blind, I wandered outside somehow and then found my neighbor who was gardening and who gave me a cup of milk and I poured it on my eyes.

That was the best...feeling...ever.  Beautiful, instant glorious relief.  I was covered in milk but that was fine and dandy.

Thankfully, the iron was upright...the whole thing is laughable now and my hubby loves to tell the story of the day I was making homemade chili powder and basically, pepper-sprayed myself x 10.

Moral of the story; always use caution with chili peppers and save your ironing for later.  Oh, and in case you are wondering the homemade chili powder was the best my boss had ever tasted.

I've been looking at different options and listening to what people have asked for and I'm trying to accommodate everyone on some level.  First of all, was the smell; the man who asked for this rub didn't want it to smell medicinal.  So I went for musky, mysterious and homey.

I'm not sure which of these warming oils are making the grade yet or if I will have a woman's and a manly rub...but I was thinking about:

Chamomile - anti-inflammatory, eases muscle pain and spasms

Frankincense - anti-inflammatory, reduces stressed muscles and eases pain

Ginger - eases back pain, improves mobility, eases rheumatic and arthritic pain and eases spasms

Lavender - anti-inflammatory, relieves muscle tension and spasms, eases joint pain and headaches

Nutmeg - warming, used in massage oils to soothe soreness in overworked muscles

Rosemary - anti-spasmodic, reduces muscle and joint pain, eases backache and headaches

Sage - anti-inflammatory and spasmodic, eases muscle tension and spasms

If it all works out right, I should have a nice warming deep penetrating anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic pain reducer that smells good too.

Yay!  A very productive and varied week.

Happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)