Motivation

Some double knitting that I am working on.

On this rainy, foggy morning I find it hard to get going.  This is the kind of day that you just want to hit the snooze bar, roll over and go back to sleep.

Only I didn’t, because that isn’t what I want for my day.

I know there are things that are scheduled for today that need to get done.  I know there are things that I want to achieve today.

I see chores as blessings that I do for my house and my family.  I see healthy choices as blessings that I do for myself.  I see errands as the oil that greases the cogs that run our lives and they are blessings as well.

I start the day by being thankful that I can start another day.  I have gratitude for our part of the world waking up, the birds starting to chirp, the rain falling on the roof, the sun painting colors across the sky and our little house starting to stir.

I also start the day with a plan.  I have three things planned that must happen on top of the things that always happen.  If I am sick or depressed or whatever then those three things can be simple and my schedule is flexible to allow for these days.  Even the moon can’t show her shining face all the time, once a month she turns inward.

On these days I probably won’t get my steps or get a lot of knitting done.  I might ask for assistance in getting out the trash or doing the cat box.  Even if I have tasks in my journal for the day they probably will be arrowed to the next day.  There is no shame or guilt in that.  If I don’t feel good enough, I take care of myself.  If you can’t take care of yourself, then how can you be there for others?

We are such complex beings, some days it seems overwhelming the amount of care that it takes to be nourished and hygienic, for lack of a better word.  As you get older you add routines to your routines to take care of all the little things that you never imagined would be part of your daily life.  

But, I find that I feel totally renewed after my shower.  I feel amazing after a walk or a workout.  A meal that I created and put my energy into, stays with me and nourishes my soul as well as my body.  

How you choose to see everything, becomes how it is.  For instance, I could choose to see eating within my calories as a total pain and it would be just that.  But, what if I chose to see it as a game.  My meals are like a puzzle that I have to unravel in order to stay within my calorie count and fullness meter.  Now, when I get up I start planning how the food that I’m going to eat is going to work for the day into my calorie count.  And, yes, I have an app for that.  I use Lose It.  I have been using it forever and I love it.

But that wasn’t my point…your motivation, in any endeavor, from getting up in the morning to making your dreams come true is based on how you choose to see how that endeavor fits into your life.

Dreading doing the laundry…makes it dreadful.  Being thankful for clean clothes makes you appreciate the variety and amount of clothes that you have.  When all the clothes are clean and the beds are washed I just feel amazing going to sleep that night.  Clean covers, clean bedclothes, make for the best sleep!

Is it easy all the time?  No, of course not.  But I have found it does get easier if you have a positive attitude.  Things that I really struggled with in the beginning are just becoming part of my day now.

Don’t laugh but the hardest thing for me was cleaning the cat box.  Hubby used to do it and then I took it over to shave off some of his morning chore time.  In the beginning, it really hurt my back to scoop the boxes.  I ended up having to stretch before and after scooping to get through it.  And that was just sad.

But after getting back to walking again and achieving my steps each day, the pain just totally disappeared.  I can scoop to my heart’s content and there is no fear of pain or putting it off until later in the day.  I just do it.   

I wonder if my changed attitude towards my kitties happiness has anything to do with the lack of so many misses outside the box?  It seemed that they were missing every day and there was that extra task of cleaning it all up.  But now, they only miss once and a while and that is great!

Regardless our three purry furries are worth it!

Frost, Kitsune and Shadow

The point is, there are some things in life we can’t change, but most things we can alter our perception of how they will impact us through a positive attitude, perseverance patience and belief in yourself and your abilities.  

Start your positive attitude mantra with saying I AM…and say it in the present tense.

I AM eating healthy.

I AM working out today.

I AM knitting five rows.

I AM going to clean the catbox.

When you say I AM you are creating reality.  If you don’t believe that words have power and are made up of energy, that is okay.  But think of how many I AM negative statements you say every day that you believe and have believed for all or most of your life.

And those negative I AM statements have power.  They silently sabotage you and create doubt in your self and your abilities.  And they have been doing it without any resistance from you.

Those negative voices always get louder when you are about to embark on change.  Our inner critic hates change.

So it is up to you to change the dialogue you hear in your head.  These are just a few examples.

Instead of I AM so stupid say I AM thinking before I act

Instead of I AM fat say I AM making healthy life choices

Instead of I AM lazy say I AM full of energy and purpose

Instead of I AM not good enough say I AM always good enough

You need to retrain your brain to think in the positive instead of the negative.  It can be difficult because you have been thinking negativity for so long.  

What I had to do to break out of my destructive “I AM not good enough” cycle was to first create a dialogue with myself.

“Not good enough” is so vague.  To whose standards am I not good enough…and for what?  This negative mantra I kept saying to myself was because I didn’t believe that my Dad thought I was good enough.

Dad left me a letter which went on to say how proud he was of me…this didn’t give my “not good enough” voice much credence, now did it?  

So then I had to ask myself if Dad didn’t believe that about me then who was I seeking approval from?  Myself?  Really?

At this point, I knew something needed to change in me.  So I started saying “release” every time that “not good enough” thought would come up.  I would think of a handler with a dog that had been trained to let go when the command “release” was given and soon my negative thought had to loosen its hold on me.

Then I started thinking what would my life be like if I was “good enough”  I would be a designer…well, wait I am a designer.   

I would be better at math…well, wait I can balance a checkbook, do my own taxes and convert grams to inches in a patten so yeah, next?

That negative voice didn’t want to give up, but each time I said “release” I could feel something changing in me until I believed that I was good enough…I AM good enough.

It took time and patience and all this didn’t happen overnight but any relationship, including the one with yourself, is worth the time and effort you put into it.

Why all this psycho-babble?  This is my shining moment and I can feel all the “not good enoughs” and “so stupids” trying to push back in.  I can feel the anxiety ready to ramp up when it realizes that I AM walking my talk.

I AM a Creatrix!

I AM a designer!

I AM thinking before I act!

I AM a teacher!

I AM a knitter!

I AM a believer!

To all those negative voices I say, “NOT TODAY.  NOT TOMORROW.  NOT EVER!”

This is my moment, the one I worked for since the day I put on the designer label.  This is the reason I research stitches and I teach others how to make them.  

I believe in my self…I AM taking a deep breath…and now I start the first stitches on a new journey.

*drops needles*

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On the knitting front, I am working on Page's Blanket and the above creation.  It is a present for someone so I am hesitant to show it fully.  I love double knitting; it amazes me each and every time when the pattern creates itself on the back as I knit it on the front.

I have learned a whole lot over the years on how to make my edges neater and some really nifty cast-ons and bind-offs.

I will share some of that knowledge with you next week when I can get assistance in taking pictures or maybe filming some of the steps.

In the meantime,

Thanks for stopping by.  :D

Happy Crafting,

Ruinwen