Everything is made of light; everything is alive. The Great Mystery of life has little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process. The intellect is helpful; but our hearts are the wiser part of ourselves.
-- Mellen-Thomas Benedict
I finished the Sister's shawl and my Hemlock and they both came out different then I wanted. The Sister's shawl I bound off way too tight but the multicolor edge was beautiful. Yet when I wear the shawl it wraps lovingly around my like it was made for me. The Hemlock...I have no idea what happened but it wraps lovingly around my lap. It was made to be a lapghan...so maybe these two knits decided to adopt me. They are both beautiful regardless of how they wear. And that is two finished objects in a weekend...that is a *pat* on the back even if they aren't up to my idea of perfect.
I really can’t look at these to FOs with anything but gratitude. Really the shawl doesn’t pucker and the bind off doesn’t look tight when it is on. Maybe it wouldn’t wear so well if the bind off had been looser. Right now it holds me in a sweet acrylic hug and since this is a knitted representation of my “sisters” then that is a powerfully beautiful thing.
The Hemlock is still stunning. I have no idea if the thick cotton was the wrong choice or if I had have gone up a needle size would have made a difference. As I was making it I thought about how nice it would be to have something to wrap up in that was pretty. I thought about the green and beautiful nature feel of the cotton and I think it just bonded with me.
So these two FOs are mine. I think they chose me. I believe many times the yarn doesn’t want to be what we are urging it into and it makes a project impossible to continue. But I’ve never had a project decide that what it wants…is to be with me. I am impossibly humbled by both these projects. Punxsutawney Phil has said in Groundhogese that we are to have six more weeks of winter. (You might want to check your current groundhog as there is one for most regions in the US and Canada)
Winter to me, is the time that you either use the things you gathered over the previous year or a time to draw deep within. The Norse rune Isa (ice) means introspection. When things are frozen you can look at them from all sides. Water is emotion…when you freeze your feelings you can see them from a different point of view. Isa holds the key to how we internalize things.
Last week I had a tough time getting my head and heart to agree. But I believe that after thinking about it and talking to wonderfully supportive friends and family I’ve come to an understanding. Any emotion can be heartfelt. And my anger came straight from my soul. When I “froze” that moment for introspection I came to see that my turning my back on my SIL was for my family’s highest good as well as my own.
When you block someone from sending you e-mail they can’t send e-mail to your address and you don’t see them if they do. When you abjure someone unfortunately there is no magic button to keep them from meddling in your life especially when there are children involved. You see them devastating someone you care about and want to do something, but you can’t.
I don’t want my anger towards this situation that continues to revolve around my happy home to control me. Yoda said, “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” I don’t want “hate” to become a way of life for me.
Imbolic / Candlemas was Sunday and I created a day full of meaning, love and fun for all that I could. In the morning I hung with friends after pouring salt into the carpets. Salt grounds negativity and brings harmony. I smudged my room with dragon’s blood. I just love the smell but it gets rid of negative forces too.
I am so blessed to have so many friends and I feel like I just connected with another wonderful person on Sunday. And then our house was overrun with children from all over the place.
Over the years we have tried to make “kid friendly” rituals for the holidays followed by a big feast. We decorate a sheep with flowers filled with hopes and dreams for the growing season to come. Our feast consisted of Stromboli and cream of potato soup. I’ve come to realize that a feast is any time that we come together as a family to celebrate something special. I’ve stopped trying so hard and just letting the moments flow. I’ve learned a lot about flow from the kids…they are wise teachers.
So my heart tells me that my SIL does not control my actions. Anger is not a way of life for me. My heart is full of love and light just like it always has been. And for once…my head agrees.
Bight blessings! May the seeds that you plant by your thoughts and dreams manifest into glorious fruit.
P.S. They have given a year for the lead law stuff to get hammered out so hopefully they will find a way to enforce the law without stifling crafters on limited budgets.