YIN / YANG

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them."

-- Orison Swett Marden

I have been feeling under attack as of late by more outside forces then I could handle at the same time and I lost my focus. I let those people and things control me and that has to stop. No one has permission to have power over me.

I’m usually the voice of reason…the peace at any price pacifist who works with everyone to bring harmony about. But at my core, I’m an Aries ruled by the planet Mars. That is two warrior Gods that live and breathe in me and when I hit the point of no return…watch out.

No one…and I mean no one threatens my family in any shape or form. And my soon to be (not soon enough) SIL called protective services saying her children were living in filth and squalor. They summoned my child from class to talk to protective services without him knowing why he was being called. They came to our house and ran through a list of empty accusations that were all unfounded and proved as false by protective services.

What was proven was exactly as we said as it was stated in court when my BIL got custody of the children. My MIL and FIL built each of the children and my BIL their own rooms out of our bottom basement level. They have their own bathroom. My FIL even wired each of the rooms on their own switch system. Not to mention we love the kids and enjoy having our new extended family. Our house may be chaotic with three kids running around playing but it is full of love and family. The kids are safe, clean, warm and well-fed.

Have you ever seen a Klingon abjuration ceremony? They all turn their back on the outcast member and for all practical purposes that person no longer exists to them. She no longer exists to me.

I do not understand hurting others and causing pain as an objective for self-worth. I do not understand how lying and breaking the law makes you a good person. I do not understand her manipulative mind and how the things she does makes sense. So I turn my back on her. I don’t want her energy…I’m tired of her presence hurting my family and those I care about. I abjure her.

This doesn’t mean I wish her harm or want anything bad to happen to her. I just want her out of my life. I pray her to her highest good and hope she can make peace with all she has done. I’m not judging her deeds…I am saying I don’t understand her choices and at this point, I really don’t care to.

I’m sorry if I sound contrary to my happy usual self. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with my choice. I’m sorry if I sound like a b*tch. Everyone has a breaking point and I’ve reached mine. I’m done.

*DEEP BREATH*

This weekend I began a wonderful plan. Starbucks has this new drive to give 5 hours to your community. I am spearheading a Knit 5 Squares project for our entire town. I figured 5 squares should about equal 5 hours of service for everyone. DH and I will put the squares together. We are going to donate them to the Assisted Livings and Community Living Centers in our town. I already have 20 people in…that is 100 squares…I’m really excited about this idea of giving back.

Giving back to the place you live is always a win/win. If you bolster where you live then you only help yourself. You keep your town in business and bring in prosperity as a whole to your area. Twice a week I stop at a wonderful Italian Deli and get salad or sandwiches. I pick up little odds and ends for cooking and feel good about buying from one of our Main Street stores.

A few years ago our Main Street had a huge fire. It was devastating to our town and the economy of this area. This tragedy almost killed the town. But much like the Whos in a Grinch Who Stole Christmas we banded together and joined hands and saw what was at the heart of all of us…love…community…kindness…compassion. People gave time, money and services to those in need. A few of the businesses didn’t survive but most did.

I got to know most of those businesses and their owners by name. They stopped being just places to me and I saw them as people with families and dreams…just like me.

Some say the fire though a horrible tragedy was the best thing to happen to the town because it brought the people together into a common purpose. Remember after 9/11 how everyone was nicer and full of compassion and then things went back to normal? I refuse to go back to normal. I refuse to take anyone for granted and includes the people that take my trash and the sweet lad that can’t hit my driveway with a paper.

Having a blog has brought a community to me that I never would have found on my own. Ravelry has opened a world to me of wonderful crafters and beautiful people. In my own town, I have found a group of knitters which have all become such wonderful friends. That is why blending my talent with helping the community while sharing this experience with people I care about and admire is such a wonderful opportunity for me.

And so you have it Yin and Yang. This post is about extremes and contradictions and in the end about being human. I’m really not a mean person. I take spiders outside instead of killing them. I cry at anything touching including commercials. I can find spirituality in anything. And I still have a lot of growing to do. But if you’ve ever seen a mother bear with her cubs…never come between me and those I love. ‘Nuff said.

Happy Crafting,
Ruinwen
:)

Picture 1: My son with the 220 scarf in a Namaste pose
Picture 2: My niece modeling the 220 scarf
Picture 3: Obsidian and Widdershins sharing each other's space (a rare occurrence)