Sunday, June 22, 2014

Flow




This is Laguz, the Norse rune of flow.  Laguz represents water in all its many forms.  Water is necessary for most life to thrive: it is a part of us.  Spiritually it is our emotions which course through our being like the blood in our veins.

Water is ever transforming from vapor to liquid to ice it is every moving: ever flowing.

If water finds an obstacle it flows around it and creates a new path.  

Water can be fierce like a raging sea or gentle like a burbling stream.

I reread my blog the other day.  What a long journey it has been!  When I started this blog I was so full of light and as I read I watched myself become heavier and heavier: much like a cloud gathering water for a storm.

I tried to stay fluid but everything just bogged me down and I had to fight to stay above water.  I lost much along the way as I also lost pieces of my self.  It hurt to write: the words would not flow and for a year I was silent.  During that time I lost my readers, my friends and my support team and now after reading my blog I see how their absence has affected me.

I am ever thankful to everyone who has or ever will read this blog.  I am blessed by the support of my internet family whether you post or not: I have always felt your love and you have helped me through some really, really dark times.  I am grateful to each and every one of you where ever you are: past, present or future.  

I feel like in truth I am back at the beginning again except with all my knitting knowledge honed through years of practice.  Lately my life has been flowing as I realize how the spaces that have been created are really there.  Life seem much fuller now that I can take more time to enjoy it.  I can't really explain it.

It's like for a while my life seemed to be the sum of my to-do list.  I am glad that I could be whatever was needed for those that needed me:  it was a blessing to be able to provide for those I love...but I just felt like I was a walking agenda and my being was made up of the things I could check off of that list daily.

I didn't flow...though I tried.  I dragged myself to one event to the next and just swallowed the emotional baggage afraid to let it out...terrified of what it would do to me.

I can see that now.  You could follow my path through the blog and see how clearly I was so close to losing it.  But if you keep reading you would also see as I made it through each dark night of the soul I got a little piece of my self back.

And now I feel that the pieces that were strewn all over the place are back where they belong.  This doesn't mean that I don't have growing and changing to do: because that never stops.  It does mean that I feel more complete then I have in...well years.

It makes me glad that I started this blog because my friend knitnana had one.  It was a risk for me.
It was hard putting up my feelings each week for everyone to read, but I'm really happy I did.  

I need to revamp this blog.  I've ignored most of the sidebar stuff because just writing it was so hard for me. But now...well things are slowly going to change as I do.  Namaste



Back to knitting...here is the 2nd layer of the 4th block of the blanket.  I feel this anxiousness of actually finishing this summer and it makes me giddy.  :)



Here is my Niece's birthday cowl.  I finished it before the deadline...go me!  I think the colors she chose are really lovely and complement each other.  She wanted to make sure there was some pink in there and wow is that pink!

I have been so good and finished a few things that had been languishing...which means I can treat myself to this.  I've been dreaming about getting my hands into the pink yummyness!  I think it means more that I finished the things that were on my very small list first.  It really allows me to enjoy knitting on this cowl.  (I cast on 320 stitches but that is it.  I'm afraid it is just a twist of cable and pink right now and not very photogenic.)

I will only allow myself to work on it after my squares are done.  I have gotten very good about finishing a current goal and I would like to keep it that way.  There is something that happens when my squares are done for the week that really allows me to cherish the new knitting as a gift or reward that I give to myself...and that always makes me smile.

Oh, in today's crossword was the words: cowl, Oahu and picot...I feel it might be a sign of something magical and wonderful.  Hmmmmm?  ;)



Finally, our little Frost is now a beautiful boy who loves to bask in cold places.  He waits until I've moved the ice from the box and then jumps right in.  lol

Happy crafting and beautiful blessings,
Ruinwen
:)
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