Sunday, June 08, 2014

I Like Life!



“At some point, you gotta let go, and sit still, and allow contentment to come to you.”
― Elizabeth GilbertEat, Pray, Love

Three whole squares done.  Wow! 

I really like the contrast of hues in this one.  I keep thinking that I’m going to get sick of making the squares but I never do.

And really that is the problem that I've had my entire life: I think too much.

I worry.  I fret.  I doubt.  I replay scenarios over and over in my head when I’m alone.

With this blanket I made a promise to myself to not fret or worry about its outcome.  I must admit I broke that promise when they had a sale on Brava at Knitpicks: I was afraid I’d run out of yarn so I bought one of everything and now I have a box of yarn I don’t need.

That of course, is nothing to fret about: I can always use more yarn.  :)

My sister and I have been doing a layer a week except when life got in the way and we agreed to put it off another week. 

When I look at this blanket I see joy, happiness, bliss and nature in many forms:  why can’t I focus on that?

This week I have been trying something new.  Every time I have a thought that is negative and I realize that the worry, fret or doubt tape is playing, I stop it.  I think or say STOP and I mean it.

Your mind gets a little confused when it is doing something that it always does and you tell it to stop with the force of your will behind it.  Of course after that you have a split second to fill that space with something else that is not full of worry, fretting or doubt.

I chose a line from a song.  It was simple and packed with meaning.

I like life 
Life likes me 
Life and I fairly fully agree 
Life is fine 
Life is good 
'Specially mine, which is just as it should be 


Every Christmas for as long as I can remember we watched Scrooge with Albert Finney.  It is not Christmas until I have sat down and watched that movie singing the songs with my sister.  That movie always makes me cry and laugh and even though I know the words, lyrics and scenes by heart it always touches me deeply…profoundly.

The Ghost of Christmas Present, who is singing this song in this movie, loves life.  He embraces every second that he has and enjoys life to the fullest.  He is a character worth emulating.

It is his song that I have chosen to reprogram my mind with each time it runs amok.  If I listen I can hear my Father chuckle softly and I know my Mother is smiling.  My sister’s voice intertwines with mine choosing a harmony that makes my song a little richer.  My son’s voice chimes in with a new deep baritone to broaden the spectrum of the melody.  Out of the corner of my eye I can see my husband smiling at the words being sung.

All these moments are woven into my song and the truth of it is very clear.  Worry, fretting and doubt take me from real truth…I like life.

So what if my pattern isn’t working this week?  There is no use to fret about it.  It will happen or it won’t but worrying about it won’t change that.   Actually taking time to research stitches or swatching…now that might actually allow me to work through the hurdles of this current pattern.

The answers do not come when one is looking for them.  The come silently and creep in when our attention has been drawn away from their focus.  When our mind has shifted then the mystery unravels itself.  In that moment of discovery it all seems so clear because we stopped and allowed ourselves to see in way that we could not imagine before that moment.

And that is what stopping the negative dialogue does for me.  It allows me to step outside of my thinking and decide if this is something that I need to focus on.  It shows me a glimpse outside the box of my original thinking and opens up a whole new way to see the situation.

Did I mention that when I do my little STOP mantra I smile?  Smiling puts a physical response in with my mental one and strengthens my body, mind and spirit connection.

This is my Peter Pan happy thought, my there’s no place like home slippers, my  
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, my supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, my Oracle at Delphi and my Holy Grail.

Why?

Because I like life!

Hugs and happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)



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