Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Real Me

"You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. Pretending to be someone other than yourself only broadens the distance between the person you are and the one with whom you’re trying to establish closeness."

-- Mary Manin Morrissey

I found that quote yesterday and realized how it applies to me. Since I took the time to listen to my inner self and my needs, I have realized what things are really important to me that others always laughed at me about.

For instance I love my husband and I love doing things with him. People used to think it was weird when I would bring him to events…they would say that I was trying to portray a happy marriage or something…but I am happy…now that fact keeps me centered and alive but before I would feel that I was wrong somehow to feel those feelings. :(

I used to have doormat on my forehead and everyone's needs came before mine. But now I balance everything and I make time to do the things that really make me happy…like knitting…everyone pooh poohed my knitting obsession…saying it was a Grandma thing…well I have something to say on the subject…Grandmas are the coolest…they know more then we do and they are wonderful giving people that share their lives with us…I don't have any Grandmas left…and I miss them…but Grandmas…they rock…if someone compares me to one…well, then I must be doing something right. :)

So here is my declaration to the world…I love to knit…I love the feeling of joy I get from the purchase of a new skein to a finished project. I love taking a ball of yarn and making something…creating something with the hours of my life…something that will live on after I am gone…I love the peace that comes when you are in synch with a pattern and you effortlessly stitch and your mind unloads all its worries until it is empty…and suddenly your heart is a little lighter and your step is a little happier…

Last night a knitting group met at my house and I loved listening to these special women and I feel more centered today…more myself…and now I know what that means and I have become the real me. :)

Ruinwen
:)
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