Blessed Be!

Dad and my son many moons ago on All Hallow's Eve 

For those that celebrate this weekend will be a trifecta of being thankful, remembering those who have passed before us, and celebrating nature and life and all of our blessings.

I am thankful for all the blessings, family, and people in my life.

*I am thankful for you dear reader for taking a moment with me to chat about things.  I wish you true happiness wherever you are in whatever you do.*  🤗

This year has been difficult, to say the least, and sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There have been many obstacles that are far from the norm to work through and overcome...some of them we are still trying to make sense of and find solutions that create change.

The world is all about change right now.

In my part of the world, nature is getting ready to pack it up and sleep through the winter.  The trees are turning shades of yellow, orange, red, and brown.  The squirrels are gathering nuts and seeds to hoard through the winter months when no food can be found.

If I take lessons from the creatures around me what can I store away to use during the winter?

How can I use change as a motivator for growth?

While the things that are going on around me cannot be controlled.  I can control my actions and behavior.  I can choose how I will react to these stimuli.

I can reevaluate my goals and shape them to provide continued expansion of my development.

There will be roadblocks along the way but I need to be more adaptable and open to alternate considerations and perceptions.  Maybe some of the truths that I have held on to for so long need to be reviewed and considered more closely to see if they still are my truths.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

-Maya Angelou

Our story, our life is a long-expansive tale full of twists and turns, celebrations, and dark nights of the soul.  It is a story that we have been writing since our first breath and we will continue writing until our last.

What chapters have you always wanted to write?  What things do you long to add to your story?

A chapter that I have always wanted to write was to be that perfect friend and family member who always had just what the other person needed...like a combination of the Good Witch and Belldandy.

I would love to always see the best in everyone and know how to help them move towards their highest good.

I have tried to emulate these qualities but doubt and fear have made it hard to continually be as preceptive and useful as I would like to be.  I believe no one can be everything all the time, so while I strive for these ideas, I will not beat myself over not achieving them 100 percent of the time.

I will not beat myself up...period...end of story.  I have ripped out that chapter and let the space that it left be open for new wholesome ideas and creations.

Speaking of new creations...

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While I still have been working on the "secret" project I have dabbled a bit with some ideas, as well as made progress on the friend knitting.

I must admit that sometimes an idea comes out of nowhere and I have no other recourse than to let it out or it eats at me until I do.  Usually, I can just write stuff down and get back to it, but this one was very compelling.

This year we are doing a ritual of writing down the things that we want to create in our lives for the new year and I got doodling with a leaf edging stitch pattern that I have been saving.  I totally ripped it apart and reformated it to fit my needs.

Here is the chart after all the deletes and edits.

I was thinking about making something Fallish and fun and then I remembered these lights that I knit from Knit Picks' Handmade Holiday Collection: 30 Handmade Ornaments and how cute they were.  This pattern used a splitting of the i-cord to make the light branches and *voila* I had an idea.

Here is my Fun Fall chocker or lariat idea depending on what length you decide to use.

It isn't finished yet, but I am really liking the way the leaves look.  I am super happy with my chart.

I love ideas giving way to more ideas in order to create something new and wonderful.

I will keep working on this pattern and get it all written up so I can put it up on Ravelry.

Until next time, Happy Crafting!

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏

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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

This Year's Growth

Where did the year go?

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

It is okay.  I think we all are at times during all this uncertainty.

This year didn't go how I wanted it to at all, and most of that is out of my control...out of our control.

The things I could manage, I think I did fairly well with.

I kept to my wellness plan, cleaned up a bit of the basement, weeded the outside, designed, knit, cooked, cleaned, kept my family as safe as I could, had virtual meetups with friends and family, and continued to thrive in these strange and challenging times.

Did I get on myself when I was so discouraged with the state of the world that I just could bring myself to do nothing?

Yes...yes, I did.  But I am human and this year got to me, as I am sure it did to all of you at one point or another.

And...that is okay.  It is okay to be discouraged, or angry, or sad...it is okay to take a day off to pull yourself together.

The one thing that really hit me about myself this year was that I judged myself by what I got done and not by what I did.

So every day in my journal I write down one thing that I am proud of myself for doing.  This has helped me to see how much I have evolved during this time at home in some areas.

I also journal each week about one thing that I could have handled differently.  (My journal is from here.  I love it.  I'm not a sponsor or anything...just love their stuff.)  

When I journal there is no blame in my delving into reshaping myself....though that took time too.

This year I breathed a lot more.  I stopped and took a breath before I blamed myself for something I had no control over.  I took a breath and thought over whether or not I could commit myself to say yes to a request before just doing it to make someone happy.  I breathed when the thought of what was going on in the world was too much for me.  I breathed to center myself when I knew my mind wasn't' in the right frame to talk to someone or before I used that "negative" voice on myself.

The biggest thing I learned this year was to ask for help.  It always used to feel like I wasn't good enough because I had to reach out for assistance.  Now, it feels like the community lifting me up.  I'm not sure when the shift occurred but now I can easily ask for aid when I need it most and that is a big change for me.  

I've always tried to be a good friend and solid member of the support system that we each take turns in helping each other out in.  These friendships have been the lifeline that has helped make the difference for me this year.

But I have realized that by not letting others help me or always choosing to refuse help I was not being a good member of our community.

It is hard to change things about yourself that you have held onto for years and years.  I am really making an effort to let these things go.  These things take time and effort and a commitment to wanting to be better me.

🤗

“If you try anything, if you try to lose weight, or to improve yourself, or to love, or to make the world a better place, you have already achieved something wonderful before you even begin. Forget failure. If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high, and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!” 

Sarah Dessen, Keeping the Moon

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This year I was supposed to teach a double knitting class, but it was canceled due to COVID 19.  

I just wanted to share my Falling Leaves and Falling Snow double knitting scarves.  I was really happy with how they came out.

KDO ended up being an online event and I made this video on duplicate stitch.  I learned a lot and had fun.  I want to create more videos in the future.

This year keeps throwing out curves but our family, friends, support systems, and communities have risen above and beyond to be there to provide alternative ways to do things and be with others. 

"Surround yourself with people who don't just ask how you are doing.  Surround yourself with people who make an effort to make sure they are part of the reason you are doing so well."

― Jennae Cecelia, Uncaged Wallflower

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏

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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

The Hats We Wear

We all wear different hats during the day, during the week, and during the year.  There are many things that we can do that seem normal because they are a part of us but to others, they are talents and skills.  We take most of these things for granted or ignore them because they have been with us for so long that we can't see how blessed we are anymore with these gifts of self.

Everyone has talents and gifts and things that make them special.  Even if someone else has this talent as well, each person adds their own personality and history to their talent and it becomes something new.

These talents or "gifts" are things that you are happiest doing.  They don't have to fit a category or be a certain way because they are personal for you.

For me, one of the things I excel at is researching information.  I love gathering information from a bunch of sources to come to some concussion.  Where some find this a tedious task, it calms me and I truly enjoy it.

Another thing I enjoy is organizing.  I have helped a lot of people organize their houses.  I have spent countless hours in jobs filing information and alphabetizing files.  For me, these tasks that are nerve-racking for co-workers were calming to me.  So much so, that I would go in on the weekend and work on the filing system when I had a huge file room that I helped run.

In Minecraft, I have found it so enjoyable to design a block palate and then add all the little touches that make the room or area come alive.

Which, of course, leads me to design.  I love to create new things in-game, in knitting, on paper, and in the kitchen.  There is something magical about taking an idea in your head and giving it form, then fleshing it out and finally, bringing it to life.

These are just a few of the things that I enjoy doing and I am good at doing.

When looking for your talents, look no further than the things you love.  Start there.  Make a list of five things that you absolutely love doing.

Keep doing these things.  Learn more.  Grow more.  Create more.  Find joy and happiness in the things you love and cultivate these wonderful, beautiful gifts that make us all unique and amazing.

Bright Blessings!

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My Father always used to say, "Why did this happen to you?" when something in my life went crazy.  I think that "crazy" is normal for me.  It might even be one of my special gifts that I was talking about up there.

Last year my good friend sent me a text about needing some Christmas hats for geese.  I was having a down kind of day and this made me laugh and then I needed clarifying.  But in the end, I made some hats for my friend's outdoor geese.

I had a lot of fun with this project.  It still makes me laugh.  It was a small design, but I measured each goose and then did the math to make the hats fit right.  I kept notes because you never know when someone will need some goose hats right?  😁

Right?

But that was then and this is now.

I have been in a slump with my knitting as I explained in my last post.

Enter the fabulous Nana.

She needed hats for her snowmen that she creates, which made me think about the geese.  Everything circles back to the geese.  lol

Using the smallest goose hat as a guide,  I counted out stitches and made a prototype.

We decided that full-on ribbing would be better with a brim you could fold over.  The ribbing hugs the bowling pin more than the stockinette would.  

So here are my hats for bowling pins that I created a formula for while knitting hats for geese.  How many people have ever said that sentence?  How is that for crazy Dad?  I hope up there in heaven, I have made you smile.  💖

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏

************************

Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

Snowballs and Things

I had grandiose plans at the beginning of the year.  I was going to clean up the Basement and work on past designs and get a lot done.  I was doing really well too until COVID struck the world.  And then, well...I just couldn't seem to do a lot of anything consistently except plan meals for the family and do the daily stuff. 

But, secretly...even to myself...I was...

You see I believe in using the "snowball effect" whenever possible for tasks that are just so huge that I get a panic attack just thinking about them.

In the snowball effect just doing the small parts of a task eventually leads to being able to do bigger parts until everything is rolling along and you find yourself at the half-way mark without as much hassle.

I used this technique to get out of debt many years ago.  First I paid the minimum on all the bigger debts, then I paid as much as could to the small debts.  As the smaller debts went away, then I allocated that amount to the next debt with the least amount on it.  It took about three years but I kept with it and then in the end that money got allocated to savings.

Real change takes time.  I have been watching what I eat since last July when I just couldn't move right anymore and everything hurt at the end of the day.  It is a long process and can't be called a diet because I can eat anything up to my calorie allotment for the day.  I just hit my second goal and I am so happy!  Everything feels better.  I sleep better and I move better.

So, at least with everything going on I never stopped working on me.  I've been chipping away at this diamond in the rough enjoying myself at each point of the process of becoming something new.

But the Basement...that is a different story.  I got so disheartened after finding the mice again and again.  It kept me away from organizing and doing all the things I had wanted to do in the Spring.

But to amazement, that wasn't really true.

Over time my hubby and I had been grabbing this or that from the kitchen boxes and they had become much lighter over the years.  When I went down to find something to make apple tarts I found something else I wanted upstairs.  This led to me rummaging around in the box and bringing half of the items in it up with me.  

At this point, I realized why not just clean out the box?

So I did.  I washed everything and found new homes for the items.  

I've never understood why I have to get so freaked out about big tasks that I just abandon them altogether.  

After my success, I decided to make a snowball effect chart for the Basement and list every task from small to big.  I'm dedicating most of my time to the small ones.  The bigger tasks I have broken down into smaller tasks so I can chip away on them just like I did with my bills.

As of today, I have cleared out two boxes and thrown away all the broken items or outgassing plastic that I don't need or want in our kitchen.

In the process of all this cleaning, I found something that gave me an idea for my next project for TKGA.  I never would even have thought of this without the help from the Basement project!  I feel like my snowball is rolling already and I just started last week!

😀

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So, the last post I was working on Thorny and I had gotten really far...I even ordered this yarn from TheWoolyCabin:

This yarn was specifically picked for how it meshed with my memories of Sis and me at our cabin in the Shenandoah.  We would roam the woods in hues of green and brown and then sit by a roaring fire with orange embers dancing on the logs.  The cranberry color was my favorite color of leaves in the Autumn.  It is one of the reasons I have a Japanese Maple tree because I love those beautiful brilliant jewel tones of red.

It is soft and beautifully dyed.  I can't wait to see my pattern knit up in it.  But for now, that will have to wait.

I received a design call and my knitting had to change gears.  I spent the week swatching and trying out ideas.  

This is another of those projects I can't share with you until publication.  

I feel like this is always how these things begin.  I have an idea, I don't know if it will work but I feel inspired and curious...so we will see how things work out.

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I have missed knitting with friends during COVID so now I have two virtual meetups where we are making a project together and I am using stash yarn.

Rosy Blooms by Stephen West, yarn Expression Fiber Arts: Cherry Blossom, Knit Picks: Stroll Glimmer Black (I think neither of these yarns exists anymore 😭) (Expression Fiber Arts dyes lots and then they are gone, but she is always creating beautiful new themed stuff)

Rosy Blooms caught my eye because it has lace and brioche.  I love the whole idea of it.  Stephen West is such a brilliant designer.  He is always thinking outside of the box.

Clapotis by Kate Gilbert, yarn Knitpicks: Chroma Manzanita (This color is also not stocked, but chroma has many beautiful colorways and it a joy to watch shift colors.  This yarn has really long color stretches...I just adore working with it!

I have made so many Clapotis over the years.  It is such a fun pattern.  Dropping the stitches is scary...then fun...then freeing.  

I hope you are making something that brings you joy!

Happy crafting!

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏
************************

Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

************************

Thanks for reading!

Happy crafting!

Ruinwen

😀

A Moment of Silence

 

Rest in Peace Cat Bordhi

When I heard that the fabulous Cat Bordhi had passed, it hit me pretty hard. 

Cat Bordhi was always a name I said with awe or maybe a bit of frustration at times since she was always challenging me.

The first time I worked on one of her patterns it was to learn the Moebius Cowl.  I had really just started to seriously knit when I tried this pattern.  It boggled my mind.  How could anyone come up with something so complicated and beautiful at the same time?

But, that was Cat in a nutshell.  She used math in a way that was unique and inspired to create new ways to form structures like her Sweet Coloriolis Socks that follow a curve instead of a straight line to form a beautiful sock.

She had no fear when it came to bringing her creations to life.  She would bend the rules or create new ones to suit her needs.  She taught me so much.

I might have never delved outside of the box without the week I spent learning to La Link and La Rink, which was a very special way to increase that Cat discovered.

Cat instilled in me that there are no rules if you want something to come into being enough.  She taught me ideas need to be fiddled with and reworked until they blossom into your vision.  

She was an amazing lady who changed my knitting in so many ways.

Thank you Cat for sharing your talents with us.  You will be sorely missed.  🙏

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 When designing I find that allowing your point of view to be open to new ideas and information is key.  

I wasn't always this way.   If I was told a pattern wouldn't work in the round then that was my truth.  I would never have thought of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole as it were.

Teaching constantly challenges me to think of knitting from a world view, not a personal one.  There isn't one right way to do anything.  

Everyone knits differently.  Some people are pickers (Continental) and some are throwers (English).  There are flickers as well.  There are all kinds of combinations of the three and there are also regional ways to knit that vary from country to county to town.  All of them are right and good ways to knit.

If you are trying to make something specific the visual result might vary a bit from the pattern but that doesn't make it wrong.  Uniqueness is beautiful.

Many times a student will come to me upset that they have messed up a stitch pattern.  I always ask them if they like it or if they want to rip it out.   

If they want me to rip it out then I oblige and happily rip it out and many times I will reknit the rows or cast-on or do anything to help with the frustration that the knitter is feeling.

But if they like what they have created, I will sit with them and make sure that they can recreate it.  Now instead of seeing a mistake, we have what I like to call a "design element".  The student has created something totally new and wonderful by coloring outside of the lines for a bit.

I feel this ability to be open that I have developed over the years really helps me as a teacher and as a designer.  Once you start playing outside of the box, you realize the box is just an illusion and this whole amazing world opens up.

Every time that we reach outside of our comfort zone and push a little further we open ourselves up to new possibilities.  Of course, that goes for everything in life, not just knitting.

I remember back to a time in 2004 when I was scared of double-pointed needles(dpns)...just terrified.  I couldn't imagine using something that didn't have end caps to keep the yarn from falling out.

But the day came when I wanted to make a blanket for someone in our group with a new baby and to start it you needed to use dpns.  This was probably the worst way to learn to use dpns because you started with two stitches on each needle and my worst fears came true as the stitches fell off over and over.

It didn't help that I was at the hospital with Mom when she first got cancer so my emotions were all over the place.  But I was determined and stubborn and when I finally got those eight stitches on those four dpns it was a triumph.

A year later, I tried socks and I found that dpns were the easiest to use for me.  A year after that I taught a class using big yarn and big dpns as an introduction to socks and double points.

Now, I reach for the dpns whenever I am doing something small or a swatch.  I love using them.

Something that vexes you today, may not tomorrow.  We are always growing and changing and as our view expands so do our possibilities.

I've known a lot of knitters over the years and one of the things that most of us have in common is the fact that we all have big dreams.  We find a certain pattern and it doesn't matter if is beyond our current level, or something we've never seen before...we just dive it with both hands.  This ability shows such courage and strength to reach out into the unknown and play in a sandbox that is usually unseen by our eyes.

And when you play in that sandbox, be kind to yourself.  If everything doesn't work out as planned, take a breath and tell yourself it is totally okay.  If you need to frog your work, do so without judgment, just allow it to be part of the process of opening up.  

Happy crafting!

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

****************************

Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏
************************

Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

************************

Thanks for reading!

Happy crafting!

Ruinwen

😀

Meandering

 Not all who wander are lost.  - J.R.R. Tolkien

When my sister and I were kids we explored the woods behind our cabin.  We would lose ourselves in thickets and a sea of green leaves and forest plants.  We knew when we hit the road that was as far as we should go and we would turn around; easily finding our cabin again after trudging through the dense undergrowth.

Hidden out of sight was a stream that bordered our property.  We could hear it even when we couldn't see it and used the meandering water as a touchstone on our journeys.

I've been immersed in these memories today as I knit a new kind of pattern.  I'm calling it Thorny.  This isn't very original since the stitch pattern is called 'thorn" but it is meaningful to me.  I remember those thorns we walked through on our journeys through the woods.  I got caught in a thicket or two and wondered if I would ever get out.

As I knit this swatch, I can hear my sister laughing.  If I close my eyes I can see the leaves and hear the brook babbling through it all.

Much like those pricker bushes in my youth, Thorny has me caught in an intricate puzzle.

I always find translating stitches from straight knitting to the round very interesting.  Sometimes it is easy, and other times it is quite challenging.

Today, it was challenging.  I have a technique that I use that borrows stitches from the right-hand needle and moves them to the left-hand needle in some cases: I call this meandering.

This has allowed me to translate many straight knitting patterns into the round that might be overlooked.  It is my touchstone if you will for keeping my knitting on course.

Here is my swatch:

This is such a great stitch; I really enjoyed working with it.

Here is the chart and some notes:

ATTENTION:  There are two rounds that have additional steps because of the conversion into the round as well as the color sequence for each row.

Round #3 Meander:

• When starting the round, remove the marker.
• Slip the first unworked stitch of the new round to the right-hand needle.
• Replace marker

Round #7 Meander:

• When starting the round, remove the marker.  
• Slip the last worked stitch to the left-hand needle.  
• Replace marker.

Make sure to take the new color under the old color at the start of the round to avoid holes.

Color Sequence

Round 1: Color A

Round 2: Color B

Round 3: Color B

Round 4: Color A
Round 5: Color A

Round 6: Color B

Round 7: Color B

Round 8: Color A

CO -  in multiples of four loosely in the round - I used a cable cast-on.  Join your stitches without twisting and place a marker.  Follow the chart or the written pattern until the desired length.

BO - loosely - I used a bind-off where you knit two stitches, then take the first stitch and place the needle as if you are purling through the back thus turning the stitch around.  Pass the 2nd stitch over the 1st.  Repeat until all stitches are bound off.  This makes a nice BO that matches the cast-on IMHO.

Written Pattern

Round 1: Color A    Knit 3, (K1, YO, K1) in one stitch

Round 2: Color B    K3, slip 3 purlwise with the yarn in the back

Round 3: Color B    Meander, K1, K2tog, slip 1 purlwise with the yarn in the back, SSK

Round 4: Color A    slip 1 purlwise with the yarn in the back, K3

Round 5: Color A    (K1, YO, K1) in one stitch, K3

Round 6: Color B    slip 3 purlwise with the yarn in the back, K3

Round 7: Color B    Meander, K2tog, slip 1 purlwise with the yarn in the back, SSK, K1

Round 8: Color A    K3, slip 1 purlwise with the yarn in the back

I really want to make one of these with a color-changing yarn and a solid.  But for now, I am happy that the concept works and that I like the swatch.  It feels good to take my notes and chart them and write them up.  It is so easy to lose touch of things.  

I have a bunch of ideas to make this pattern more presentable, so I will play with those.  To me, a swatch is like a seed.  It contains the blueprint for my inspiration and if I give it enough love and attention it might grow into something amazing. 😀 

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I did get to do something out of my sandbox and I had fun. It wasn't perfect but I had never done it before.  And...I am really proud of it.

Because of the pandemic, Knitter's Day Out has converted its event to an online format.  I made my first actual video.  I did some editing and it was really fun.  My son helped me film and I was ever so grateful to him.

So, you will be able to find that here, along with a bunch of amazing classes by some awesome teachers who all rose to the challenge this year.  The sign-up date for Zoom classes may have passed but the videos that I and my fellow crafters created this year will be put up on YouTube during the event on September 25th-26th.

I hope to get the link up as soon as it goes live.

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

****************************

Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏
************************

Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

************************

Thanks for reading!

If you have any questions regarding this or any of my other tutorials, please feel free to leave a question in the comments.

Happy crafting!

Ruinwen

😀

The Hearth of the Matter

Hi.  I hope this post finds you and yours healthy and safe.

For the past few weeks, I have not been able to concentrate on knitting or designing no matter how hard I tried.

Instead, I have focused on cooking and rebuilding my tower in RLCraft.

Years ago I cooked for a lot of people and found it very enjoyable.  I loved the way a meal came together with all the pieces parts and created a blend of flavors.  I didn't mind cooking an eight-hour meal because the process created something wonderful.

When I would stir a pot it would be done with the intent of imparting healing, love, and happiness to everyone who ate from it.  Many times I would say a blessing of love and thankfulness for the food that I was fortunate enough to have to share with my friends and family.  This was something that was part of my normal everyday experience, but it seems so foreign now and that is sad to me.

At some point, it became easier to get food out than to create it myself.  Everything seemed to take too much time from the precious amount that I had left after working for the day.  Now and then, I would think about cooking, but most of the time I didn't.

During this time now of being at home and constant reflection, I have all the time in the world to do anything I want and I found myself wanting to cook again.

In the beginning, it was me just throwing stuff together for the sake of having a hot, safe meal and not really thinking about it.  But over the last few weeks, I have felt spiritually attached to the meals I was making for me and my family.  Instead of just cooking I am creating expressions of my love for my family and the blessings that we have in this household.

I feel connected again to something that I had lost without even realizing it.  Now there is a rhythm to dinner and creating it is once again a ritual that I truly enjoy.  Even the dishes which used to make me tired to think about are just part of the process.

Before bed every night I make sure the kitchen is ready for the next day and it gives me a happy smile to know the hearth of my home is open and ready to begin the next culinary adventure.

I wanted to share with you a recipe we all really enjoyed last week.  Our local BBQ place has the most amazing burnt ends and I had convinced myself that mine would never be as good but that is just that negative voice of mine that wants to keep me small and contained acting out.

Burnt ends are usually smoked first so this provided a challenge as I wanted that smoky flavor but I didn't have a way to smoke them here at the house.  Spices helped me with this as I used one of my favorite secret weapons: smoked paprika.  I love everything about this spice, especially the deep rich color and scent.  

Whereas the chilis to make paprika are usually just crushed these are smoked first, usually with oak wood to impart another layer of flavor.  Using this spice can make all the difference in a dish, I especially love it in BBQ rub and deviled eggs.

These burnt ends were delish and we all enjoyed them.  I kept a bit of the local in them by using the Cartercue BBQ sauce to baste with because we had it in the cupboard and it is really good.

Burnt Ends

I got a pack of boneless pork ribs for this but you could use a pork shoulder cut up into smaller pieces.

Step 1.  Dry rub:  Make sure the ribs are dry.  Use your favorite dry rub on the ribs - you can do this and let them sit overnight to let the flavor really sink in.

My Dry Rub Recipe

3 tablespoons smoked paprika

1 tablespoon chili powder (you can use hot or mild depending on your preference) 

(I like to use smoked chipotle for extra smoky goodness)

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1 tablespoon ground salt

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground pepper

You can change or omit any of these spices as your preference.  I use ground spices as much as possible.  But if yours are not ground you can grind them before using them on the meat.

Step 2.  Preheat oven to 350

Step 3.  While the oven is heating, line a pan with foil to help with clean up.  Place each of the ribs on the pan with space between them.

Step 4.  Cook ribs for 30 minutes.  

I have a convection oven and heard that using it for meat was amazing so I tried it and it was.  If you don't have a convection oven that is fine.  Slow-cooked meat is always really yummy.  

Step 4:  Lower heat - without opening to 275 and cook for 2.5 - 3 hours

Depending on your cut and thickness of your meat you might need to cook it longer.  My ribs were done after 2.5 hours.  I could tell that they were just starting to smell a bit smoky and I checked on them.

I was always taught that you shouldn't keep opening an oven door because it takes a while for the oven to heat up again and things can cook unevenly during that time.  Opening it once in the middle of the cooking time is permitted by most cooks.

So at about the 1.5-hour mark you can open up the oven and turn the pan around.  Taking time to turn the ribs will take too much time and the oven will have to heat up again.  IMHO

Step 5.  When the ribs are done take them out and baste them in your sauce.  As you are doing this, lower the temp on the oven to 225.

Step 6.  Bake the ribs in the sauce for another 15-30 minutes depending on their size and thickness.  I only baked mine for an additional 10 minutes and they were perfect!

Step 7.  Take the ribs out of the oven and let them rest for an additional 5 minutes before serving.  This evens out the heat and lets them reabsorb their juices which helps them be fork tender.

Enjoy!

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On another note, I know of a lot of content creators that get burned out even when their desire is to create more content.  I know that this blog is focused on knitting but it is even more centered on my journey as a knitter.

Sometimes, this journey of knitting has nothing to do with actual knitting.  Right now it is about recharging my batteries and redefining myself.  All this time at home has given me a lot of time to think about things and my place in them.

I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety as of late and it has been hard for me to focus on the math that I have been working within this pattern.  I want to get back to it, I am almost done but there are a few things that need tweaking and testing before it is good enough for the blog.

So, I am going to put it on the back burner for a bit.  

I made a whole bunch of goals for this year that I need to revise.  I never planted my seeds in the spring because the world was in such chaos that I couldn't make sense of where I would fit in it.

I am still struggling with that.  But now at Midsummers, I realize that revising is okay, it is not failing.  Everyone is struggling with our new "normal" and where we fit into this new world that we are still creating.

That is what I am working on now.  New goals, new ways to express my spirituality and creativity.

I know that the knitting mojo will return and the panic will subside if I listen to my true inner voice.

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Safe socially-distanced hugs  🤗

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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.  

May you be safe.  

May your loved ones be safe.  

🙏

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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏

I found this prayer and it really spoke to me so I wanted to share it with you.

PRAYER FOR EQUALITY By Kira Kowalczyk, 2015 

Dear God, 

We pray for all those in our world suffering from racism, sexism and religious discrimination. For the individuals who are silenced for expressing their beliefs. For the people who feel marginalized within society. Please help them remain positive despite physical and psychological strife. Help them to forgive those who persecute them or who fail to treat them with respect. Forgive us, Lord, if we consciously or unconsciously share in the conditions or in a system that perpetuates injustice. Please enlighten all Your disciples that discrimination does not only come in the form of lowering others but it demonstrates itself in the process of granting of privileges to select groups of people as well. Guide lawmakers and those at the head of government make decisions that grant all individuals equal status under the law. 

Amen.