For the past few weeks, I have not been able to concentrate on knitting or designing no matter how hard I tried.
Instead, I have focused on cooking and rebuilding my tower in RLCraft.
Years ago I cooked for a lot of people and found it very enjoyable. I loved the way a meal came together with all the pieces parts and created a blend of flavors. I didn't mind cooking an eight-hour meal because the process created something wonderful.
When I would stir a pot it would be done with the intent of imparting healing, love, and happiness to everyone who ate from it. Many times I would say a blessing of love and thankfulness for the food that I was fortunate enough to have to share with my friends and family. This was something that was part of my normal everyday experience, but it seems so foreign now and that is sad to me.
At some point, it became easier to get food out than to create it myself. Everything seemed to take too much time from the precious amount that I had left after working for the day. Now and then, I would think about cooking, but most of the time I didn't.
During this time now of being at home and constant reflection, I have all the time in the world to do anything I want and I found myself wanting to cook again.
In the beginning, it was me just throwing stuff together for the sake of having a hot, safe meal and not really thinking about it. But over the last few weeks, I have felt spiritually attached to the meals I was making for me and my family. Instead of just cooking I am creating expressions of my love for my family and the blessings that we have in this household.
I feel connected again to something that I had lost without even realizing it. Now there is a rhythm to dinner and creating it is once again a ritual that I truly enjoy. Even the dishes which used to make me tired to think about are just part of the process.
Before bed every night I make sure the kitchen is ready for the next day and it gives me a happy smile to know the hearth of my home is open and ready to begin the next culinary adventure.
I wanted to share with you a recipe we all really enjoyed last week. Our local BBQ place has the most amazing burnt ends and I had convinced myself that mine would never be as good but that is just that negative voice of mine that wants to keep me small and contained acting out.
Burnt ends are usually smoked first so this provided a challenge as I wanted that smoky flavor but I didn't have a way to smoke them here at the house. Spices helped me with this as I used one of my favorite secret weapons: smoked paprika. I love everything about this spice, especially the deep rich color and scent.
Whereas the chilis to make paprika are usually just crushed these are smoked first, usually with oak wood to impart another layer of flavor. Using this spice can make all the difference in a dish, I especially love it in BBQ rub and deviled eggs.
These burnt ends were delish and we all enjoyed them. I kept a bit of the local in them by using the Cartercue BBQ sauce to baste with because we had it in the cupboard and it is really good.
Burnt Ends
I got a pack of boneless pork ribs for this but you could use a pork shoulder cut up into smaller pieces.
Step 1. Dry rub: Make sure the ribs are dry. Use your favorite dry rub on the ribs - you can do this and let them sit overnight to let the flavor really sink in.
My Dry Rub Recipe
3 tablespoons smoked paprika
1 tablespoon chili powder (you can use hot or mild depending on your preference)
(I like to use smoked chipotle for extra smoky goodness)
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon ground salt
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon ground pepper
You can change or omit any of these spices as your preference. I use ground spices as much as possible. But if yours are not ground you can grind them before using them on the meat.
Step 2. Preheat oven to 350
Step 3. While the oven is heating, line a pan with foil to help with clean up. Place each of the ribs on the pan with space between them.
Step 4. Cook ribs for 30 minutes.
I have a convection oven and heard that using it for meat was amazing so I tried it and it was. If you don't have a convection oven that is fine. Slow-cooked meat is always really yummy.
Step 4: Lower heat - without opening to 275 and cook for 2.5 - 3 hours
Depending on your cut and thickness of your meat you might need to cook it longer. My ribs were done after 2.5 hours. I could tell that they were just starting to smell a bit smoky and I checked on them.
I was always taught that you shouldn't keep opening an oven door because it takes a while for the oven to heat up again and things can cook unevenly during that time. Opening it once in the middle of the cooking time is permitted by most cooks.
So at about the 1.5-hour mark you can open up the oven and turn the pan around. Taking time to turn the ribs will take too much time and the oven will have to heat up again. IMHO
Step 5. When the ribs are done take them out and baste them in your sauce. As you are doing this, lower the temp on the oven to 225.
Step 6. Bake the ribs in the sauce for another 15-30 minutes depending on their size and thickness. I only baked mine for an additional 10 minutes and they were perfect!
Step 7. Take the ribs out of the oven and let them rest for an additional 5 minutes before serving. This evens out the heat and lets them reabsorb their juices which helps them be fork tender.
Enjoy!
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On another note, I know of a lot of content creators that get burned out even when their desire is to create more content. I know that this blog is focused on knitting but it is even more centered on my journey as a knitter.
Sometimes, this journey of knitting has nothing to do with actual knitting. Right now it is about recharging my batteries and redefining myself. All this time at home has given me a lot of time to think about things and my place in them.
I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety as of late and it has been hard for me to focus on the math that I have been working within this pattern. I want to get back to it, I am almost done but there are a few things that need tweaking and testing before it is good enough for the blog.
So, I am going to put it on the back burner for a bit.
I made a whole bunch of goals for this year that I need to revise. I never planted my seeds in the spring because the world was in such chaos that I couldn't make sense of where I would fit in it.
I am still struggling with that. But now at Midsummers, I realize that revising is okay, it is not failing. Everyone is struggling with our new "normal" and where we fit into this new world that we are still creating.
That is what I am working on now. New goals, new ways to express my spirituality and creativity.
I know that the knitting mojo will return and the panic will subside if I listen to my true inner voice.
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Safe socially-distanced hugs 🤗
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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.
May you be safe.
May your loved ones be safe.
🙏
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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏
I found this prayer and it really spoke to me so I wanted to share it with you.
PRAYER FOR EQUALITY
By Kira Kowalczyk, 2015
Dear God,
We pray for all those in our world suffering from racism, sexism and
religious discrimination.
For the individuals who are silenced for expressing their beliefs. For the people who feel marginalized within society.
Please help them remain positive despite physical and psychological strife.
Help them to forgive those who persecute them or who fail to treat them
with respect.
Forgive us, Lord, if we consciously or unconsciously share in the conditions
or in a system that perpetuates injustice.
Please enlighten all Your disciples that discrimination does not only come in
the form of lowering others but it demonstrates itself in the process of
granting of privileges to select groups of people as well.
Guide lawmakers and those at the head of government make decisions that
grant all individuals equal status under the law.
Amen.
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