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| Where did the year go? |
Are you feeling overwhelmed?
It is okay. I think we all are at times during all this uncertainty.
This year didn't go how I wanted it to at all, and most of that is out of my control...out of our control.
The things I could manage, I think I did fairly well with.
I kept to my wellness plan, cleaned up a bit of the basement, weeded the outside, designed, knit, cooked, cleaned, kept my family as safe as I could, had virtual meetups with friends and family, and continued to thrive in these strange and challenging times.
Did I get on myself when I was so discouraged with the state of the world that I just could bring myself to do nothing?
Yes...yes, I did. But I am human and this year got to me, as I am sure it did to all of you at one point or another.
And...that is okay. It is okay to be discouraged, or angry, or sad...it is okay to take a day off to pull yourself together.
The one thing that really hit me about myself this year was that I judged myself by what I got done and not by what I did.
So every day in my journal I write down one thing that I am proud of myself for doing. This has helped me to see how much I have evolved during this time at home in some areas.
I also journal each week about one thing that I could have handled differently. (My journal is from here. I love it. I'm not a sponsor or anything...just love their stuff.)
When I journal there is no blame in my delving into reshaping myself....though that took time too.
This year I breathed a lot more. I stopped and took a breath before I blamed myself for something I had no control over. I took a breath and thought over whether or not I could commit myself to say yes to a request before just doing it to make someone happy. I breathed when the thought of what was going on in the world was too much for me. I breathed to center myself when I knew my mind wasn't' in the right frame to talk to someone or before I used that "negative" voice on myself.
The biggest thing I learned this year was to ask for help. It always used to feel like I wasn't good enough because I had to reach out for assistance. Now, it feels like the community lifting me up. I'm not sure when the shift occurred but now I can easily ask for aid when I need it most and that is a big change for me.
I've always tried to be a good friend and solid member of the support system that we each take turns in helping each other out in. These friendships have been the lifeline that has helped make the difference for me this year.
But I have realized that by not letting others help me or always choosing to refuse help I was not being a good member of our community.
It is hard to change things about yourself that you have held onto for years and years. I am really making an effort to let these things go. These things take time and effort and a commitment to wanting to be better me.
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“If you try anything, if you try to lose weight, or to improve yourself, or to love, or to make the world a better place, you have already achieved something wonderful before you even begin. Forget failure. If things don't work out the way you want, hold your head up high, and be proud. And try again. And again. And again!”Sarah Dessen, Keeping the Moon
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This year I was supposed to teach a double knitting class, but it was canceled due to COVID 19.
I just wanted to share my Falling Leaves and Falling Snow double knitting scarves. I was really happy with how they came out.
KDO ended up being an online event and I made this video on duplicate stitch. I learned a lot and had fun. I want to create more videos in the future.
This year keeps throwing out curves but our family, friends, support systems, and communities have risen above and beyond to be there to provide alternative ways to do things and be with others.
"Surround yourself with people who don't just ask how you are doing. Surround yourself with people who make an effort to make sure they are part of the reason you are doing so well."
―
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Safe socially-distanced hugs 🤗
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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.
May you be safe.
May your loved ones be safe.
🙏
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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏
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