When I was having lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while, she told me that one of the things that she liked about me was that I had always held space for her.
One, I was so happy to have a compliment like that. It is so hard for me to see myself through the eyes of those who can truly see me. Her single statement helped me to see myself in a light that I never truly could see until this moment.
When you hold space for someone, you are there for them on almost a holy level of support. For instance, if you have ever called in a circle, smudged your house, said grace or warded something; you have called in a sacred space.
In this case, you are encircling your friend with your energy. You are creating a place, a scared space, where they feel safe and protected. This is a place where they can share anything and you will be present with them and listen with more than your ears. You will be open to their journey without judgment. You will accept them for who they are and not try and change them. You will bear witness to their story, their path, and their process.
In this case, you are encircling your friend with your energy. You are creating a place, a scared space, where they feel safe and protected. This is a place where they can share anything and you will be present with them and listen with more than your ears. You will be open to their journey without judgment. You will accept them for who they are and not try and change them. You will bear witness to their story, their path, and their process.
I hug everyone I meet. It is a way of sharing energy. In holding space for someone you hug them without ever touching. Your energy encircles them and supports and protects them.
This is a sacred space where they can feel safe to speak their feelings without being judged. At times you may be called to just be a witness to powerful moments in their transformative process. In these moments you are like a vessel that your friend can use to pour out all their emotions and feelings and see them laying before them. Many times it can help them to clarify thoughts or ideas. It can help them to see the issues that they are struggling through since in this safe place they are free to see them without judgment.
In holding space it is not about you. This is not where you try and “fix” something that you see needs fixing. By being with them, really being in their moment and listening to them or if there are no words, just sitting there with them, you are projecting compassion and understanding. You don’t have to ask them, “What can I do,” or “How can I help you” because you are in that moment, helping more then you can ever know.
One of the hardest things in holding space for someone is to be non-judgmental. I am not just talking about accepting them for who they are and where they are in their process, that is relatively easy. I am talking about not filling this sacred space with your mind chatter about how you think you could fix this, or how when this happened to you, you did this or anything about you. This is not your process you are not here to evaluate how your friend should proceed. You are a vessel, you do not get to choose how you are filled.
A partner to being non-judgmental is acceptance. In this space your friend should be able to say whatever she needs to say, she should be able to cry or vent or be in whatever part of her process that needs to be. Be there for them, that is enough. If your mind is full of things you could change or fix, quiet your mind by using the mantra:
“I am here for _____.
I support ______.
I accept _____.”
When you accept someone for who they are in the present moment, there is no desire to change or fix or improving them because they are exactly where they need to be.
“I am here for _____.
I support ______.
I accept _____.”
When you accept someone for who they are in the present moment, there is no desire to change or fix or improving them because they are exactly where they need to be.
Your whole attention is focused on your friend. You are keeping eye-contact with them. You are listening to them with your whole being. You will know if they need a response from you, otherwise don’t interrupt, add, or comment, your words unless asked for only will only distract your friend. Your silence will nurture them and allow them to have space to think where they can look at their words and thoughts and see how to progress. Your support by just being there can give them a silent strength that they needed in order to grow and take their next steps.
It is not an easy thing to do because our ego wants to get in the way so it is a learning process of quieting our inner critics and voices in order to make room for someone else for a while. But I believe we are equally healed by the process. It is by giving of ourself without motive or process that we learn truths about ourselves that have remained hidden in all the inner chatter and noise.
Namaste (I bow to the Divine in you)
(I used "friend" and "her" to describe this process but it could be anyone or even a group of people.)
I accept each and every one of you where you are on your journey. I sit without judgment in total acceptance. This is a sacred space. Namaste
**********************
So my friend Fran has been making this for 10 years! There was a time when her hands bothered her so much she couldn't work on it but thankfully, lately, they are better and she is able to crochet again.
This is Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper in filet crochet. It is stunning. I had the honor of blocking it with her. This picture is a before blocking shot. I am so, so proud of her! This is just amazing.
************************
I am in love with double knitting!
Here is my crab potholder that I just finished. I am in love with it. The crab design was created by Regina Schoenfeldt. She has a lot of beautiful designs on her Ravelry Page.
I've been using an edging that I really love. It is clean and easy to do as long as you follow a few simple steps.
For this tutorial, the green stitches represent the MC (main color) stitches and the blue stitches represent the CC (contrasting color) stitches for side one and then they will switch place for side two and the MC will be blue whereas the CC will be green.
On your first row, just do what you always do for double knitting:
When you get to your last pair of stitches. Make sure the working yarns are laying like this.
You will slip the green stitch (MC) purlwise from the left-hand needle to the right-hand needle with both yarns in the back of your work.
Then you want to make sure the blue stitch (CC) is laying over the green working yarn (MC) before you bring it to the front.
This is the crucial element that holds the two colors together on the edge.
Once your blue working yarn
(CC) is in front of your work. Slip the last blue stitch (CC) on your left-hand needle purlwise to the right-hand needle and you have completed the right-hand edge.
Now we are back to the left-hand edge.
When you turn your work it will look like the picture.
The blue working yarn (MC) is in the back alone and the green working yarn (CC) is in the front alone.
Knit the blue stitch (MC) with only the blue (MC) working yarn in the back of your work
Bring the (MC) to the front and purl the green (CC) with the green working yarn. Both working yarns are in the front.
Finally, bring both working yarns to the back to begin the normal progression across the row until you get to the last pair of stitches and then repeat the process.
And that's it!
Thanks for reading!
If you have any questions regarding this or any of my other tutorials, please feel free to leave a question in the comments.
Happy Crafting,
Ruinwen
:D
I accept each and every one of you where you are on your journey. I sit without judgment in total acceptance. This is a sacred space. Namaste
**********************
So my friend Fran has been making this for 10 years! There was a time when her hands bothered her so much she couldn't work on it but thankfully, lately, they are better and she is able to crochet again.
This is Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper in filet crochet. It is stunning. I had the honor of blocking it with her. This picture is a before blocking shot. I am so, so proud of her! This is just amazing.
************************
I am in love with double knitting!
Here is my crab potholder that I just finished. I am in love with it. The crab design was created by Regina Schoenfeldt. She has a lot of beautiful designs on her Ravelry Page.
I've been using an edging that I really love. It is clean and easy to do as long as you follow a few simple steps.
For this tutorial, the green stitches represent the MC (main color) stitches and the blue stitches represent the CC (contrasting color) stitches for side one and then they will switch place for side two and the MC will be blue whereas the CC will be green.
On your first row, just do what you always do for double knitting:
- Knit with the MC yarn in the back of your work
- Bring the MC yarn to the front of your work and purl in the CC yarn, which is already in the front of the work.
When you get to your last pair of stitches. Make sure the working yarns are laying like this.
You will slip the green stitch (MC) purlwise from the left-hand needle to the right-hand needle with both yarns in the back of your work.
This is the crucial element that holds the two colors together on the edge.
Once your blue working yarn
(CC) is in front of your work. Slip the last blue stitch (CC) on your left-hand needle purlwise to the right-hand needle and you have completed the right-hand edge.
Now we are back to the left-hand edge.
When you turn your work it will look like the picture.
The blue working yarn (MC) is in the back alone and the green working yarn (CC) is in the front alone.
Knit the blue stitch (MC) with only the blue (MC) working yarn in the back of your work
Bring the (MC) to the front and purl the green (CC) with the green working yarn. Both working yarns are in the front.
Finally, bring both working yarns to the back to begin the normal progression across the row until you get to the last pair of stitches and then repeat the process.
And that's it!
Thanks for reading!
If you have any questions regarding this or any of my other tutorials, please feel free to leave a question in the comments.
Happy Crafting,
Ruinwen
:D
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