Friday, July 30, 2010

Happiness...

I had a quote but I lost it somewhere...so here is one that I heard somewhere....happiness is what you make it.

I have this nagging feeling when I enter the Assisted Living and put on my "happy" face. You know the face that smiles and is patient and kind no matter how much I might be screaming inside because my parents don't deserve that.

They are beautiful people and I always try to treat them with love and understanding.

*insert light bulb here"

Wouldn't it be amazing if I could do that with my life everyday? If I could take all these crazy feelings and just turn them around because I am just as deserving as my parent to be treated with kindness and respect?

It is easy to see a solution but some times it is elusive as a mountain in the distance. So using my gaming strategy that worked so well for my weight loss and financial serenity I knew that I needed a little help here and went to my guides and teachers who pointed me to the next essence up from cherry blossom.

*insert music of goal being achieved as magic potion is obtained to refill happiness meter*

It should be no surprise that this new essence is orange. I am deathly allergic to citric acid and oranges are something I have to avoid. So if I needed the energy of this fruit...I cannot get it except through the essence of it's flower which, has no citric acid...or maybe in honey from the orange blossoms.

I am hoping this essence will allow me to override my personal depression and allow joy and happiness to flow through my life again.

I am so blessed...I know that. But right now no matter what I do I just feel totally...at odds with my environment and my place in it. If I can't change what is around me then I have to try to change what lies within.

Bright blessings to you all,
Have a beautiful weekend!
Ruinwen
:)

5 comments:

Marlene said...

Once again you seem to be writing my story, at least in part.

I recently have had to change the way I perceive my role in a relationship that I find challenging and upsetting. A wise soul suggested that I "kill her with kindness". You know, it's working!

I hope you feel more yourself soon. Try smiling even when it's the last thing you feel like doing. It's difficult to feel down if you literally keep your chin up and have a smile on your face, (even if you have to paste that smile on in the beginning)!

KnitNana said...

I hope you have good success!!!
(((hugs))))

Geraldine said...

You certainly DO deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. That is something lost in the shuffle for many of us. I find myself ignoring my own needs (on several levels) many times simply because I don't feel worthy. If we can't truly love ourselves first, we are lost. You've written with a lot of wisdom here R. and yes, you do have much to be happy about in your life. the other stuff...it will pass, probably sooner than later. Hang in there. Hugs, G

rueyeet said...

well of COURSE you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, why wouldn't you? O:

I think the lack of respect from around you is part of the depression, really...I hope this essence will help you find the serenity -- or maybe even a bit of humor -- that will see you through.

<3

Birdsong said...

I really hope it works! I want you to have your happy back... and know exactly what you are describing! Good to put our best efforts into ourselves at least some of the time, so there will be something well-tended, well-loved and well-nurtured to send out into the world.