Friday, July 09, 2010

Spirit Rain

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

-- Dr. Seuss (via Elena)

Right now the East coast is suffering from an onslaught of unusual heat. Our grass is brown, dry and brittle and our gardens are just managing to hang on. I have no A/C in the car right now and after riding around in my little oven-mobile I feel drained.

DH thrives in high heat…I don’t. I start to droop like a flower deprived of cool refreshing water.

My spirit is the same way; if I don’t nourish it then I feel this heaviness in my center that pulls me down.

I strive to live a spiritual life as much as I can. I hold fast to my beliefs and they are a strong part of who I am.

But lately I feel like our landscape...arid with little growth. The heat has really been dragging me down just like the blizzard did last winter. I don't do well with extremes of nature; yet I live in a constant state of all or nothing.

My friends and family know to step back when I get an idea. They watch as it consumes me and wait for the flames to die down to see what actually becomes of it. It isn't my intention to get so flared up about something and then set it aside for the next big idea.

I'm so bad with the follow through...and yet I muddle through and do the things that I'm supposed to do.

I reached my final weight goal. That last pound was just beyond my reach for so long yet I kept the faith. I never gained...I kept working out...I kept eating in my points and here I am at the end of of a journey that is only the beginning of my relationship with food and my body.

I amaze myself that I can stick to a life change like this and not be focused enough to make a phone call. I put off thing for what seems like f-o-r-e-v-e-r...and yet when I finally get to them...*poof* they seem to be accomplished so quickly I have to chide myself for waiting so long.

Speaking of waiting...after the paint and the living room overhaul...I've been waiting for the shelving to be in place so we can finally hang the family pictures. We've designed the room to have an element of the Bagua in each corner or wall. And it feels lopsided right now.

Kinda like me.

Just between you me and the fence post...I have this yearning that I've had before to learn Tai Chi. After seeing the Avatar the Last got stronger. I'm in that place where I'm not good enough to be taught in a class because...I look like an uncoordinated octopus *bows head - with apologies to all bright and graceful octopuses everywhere*. I'm quite frankly afraid to be laughed at when I'm home as well (but not by my immediate family). *sigh*

But I have to start somewhere.

I feel so strongly about this. But is this just another thing that I throw myself into and then it fizzles out? I don't know. But I bought two DVD's for busy people and I'm going to see if this meditative movement makes a difference to my energy level.

There is this wonderful feeling I get when I'm connected to Spirit through my body/mind/and spirit and the chi, prana...whatever you call it is flowing. My fingers tingle with the energy and my every worry goes out of my head. I become so focused in the now and all the rest falls away. My breath becomes my mantra until my whole body begins to pulse. At this point I start to sway and this is when I can talk with Spirit.

This is how I've always envisioned doing Tai Chi. It seems like a flowing meditation where each movement is all that exists. It is a beautiful testament to the body/mind/spirit connection that each of us has.

When I do Yoga I get the same feeling.

My problem is getting around my current constraints. My biggest hurdle is to ignore what people say. If I believe in something then that should be enough.

But most times I am easily swayed by an unkind word or a snicker. I am blessed that I have friends and family who support me on each of these strange journeys I undertake.

I'm sorry my readers if this post of mine is disjointed...but it follows my state of mind right now.

I didn't knit a stitch yet this week. Thank goodness for meet-upon Friday or I would never get anything done.

Shade and sweet water,




Geraldine said...

Oh pleeeease send the shade and sweet water this way.The west coast is sweltering too and I can so relate to your comments about sagging in the heat. Give me a soft gentle rain any day, those are the times I thrive and produce!! ;)

congrats on the weight goal, well done. the knitting can wait, it's too hot to hold wool.

Many hugs, G

PS: I'm posting at both my blogs again, never say never....

KnitNana said...

YAYAYAYAY!!! congrats on reaching GOAL!
And it's raining here today, and cooler.
There is hope.

Breien in Lansingerland said...

We had some heavy rainfall yesterday. Great for garden life though ;-)

Congrats on reaching your weight goal.

Breien in Lansingerland said...

We had some heavy rainfall yesterday. Great for garden life though ;-)

Congrats on reaching your weight goal.

Anonymous said...

So what if this newest fascination does fizzle out?

Nobody can ever tell ahead of time which of the many random things we embrace in our lives will become a permanent part of us....the only thing that's certain is that if we let them pass us by, we'll never know.

That's always been one of the things that I've admired about you -- your willingness to give anything and everything a try.

I suspect that's not so much the issue, though, as the other thing you mentioned. O: Maybe you could somehow clear enough space in the more private areas? Or find a buddy to do it with you at their place?

rueyeet said...

oops! that last post was me, I just forgot to put my name in!