Friday, May 07, 2010

Shattered Focus

“A good intention clothes itself with power.”
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

“By becoming a conscious choice-maker, you begin to generate actions that are evolutionary for you.”
-- Deepak Chopra

I’ve read on the WW boards about people who say they had no choice but to go over their points. That by the time they got home there was nothing left of their daily allotment. But to me that says, they didn’t take the time to journal and figure out how many points they were consuming. The way I see it is that if they wanted…really cared about…having those points for dinner then they would have chosen to plan their day.

I know this for a fact because I was that person once. I ate what I wanted and got home and had no points left. I had to dip into my weekly allotment and it upset me to no end because I was saving that for sushi on the weekend. By the time the weekend rolled around I realized that there was no weekly allotment left and I ate salad, begrudgingly, when we went out.

WW has taught me a lot about life. With goals you either want them or you don’t. Sometimes one sets a goal just because they feel like they should; but in their heart they have no intention of ever seeing it to fruition.

I’ve found out your mind will go along with creating whatever you truly want to create and it will stop you from bringing anything to life that you are not ready for. With most things it is the intent that focuses the energy and brings thoughts into this reality.

It is amazing to me that one can have this idea in their heads for years and then the minute they write it out and make it “real” it starts to gain momentum. Once it is put on paper then the idea can be fleshed out and expanded upon as it gains power.

The problem that I’ve noticed with me is that I have too many things drawing on this creative energy at the same time. I thought if I did a little here and a little there, then I would at least be doing something. But I was wrong.

In my yarn craft more then any other aspect of my life; I lose my creative focus. There are so many pretty patterns which keep calling to me. Books…lure me with new ideas and vibrant hues. Blogs…Ravelry…magazines…it all is getting to be too much!

I’ve been so good about not buying new yarn…MD S&W doesn’t count. But the patterns…it is like an addiction and I’m trying to stop.

I think my creative focus fractures a bit with each one…as I ponder on how I can change it or what yarn would be perfect each new pattern takes a bit of my creativity and diverts it where it sits in a holding pattern. In my head that pattern has become an idea that longs to be realized.

And all these ideas are overwhelming me but I am not casting on something new until I finish something old. I refuse. I am not going to scatter my focus like this anymore.

The truth is most patterns could be finished in little over a weeks time…if that…if only I would focus on one at a time then a project would have a beginning, middle and end that would follow a nice orderly fashion. Instead of my current…oooooh I love this pattern I must cast it on now….such pretty yarn…half way yawn…time to cast on something new…pattern sits in bag…and sits…I find it while looking for something else…think about working on it and decline…it moves to a new bag…time passes (sometimes years)…project is found again…why did I ever put you away…such pretty colors…such a nice pattern…pattern is finally finished…waits to block…yay I actually finished something…pattern gets to be on blog.

To stop this cycle I’m trying something new. This is totally against my Aries nature and I expect inner resistance. But like WW, financial serenity and my yarn diet when I decide something my mind knows that I’m serious. So, to that end I am going to try and do one project from beginning to end without casting on another one in between. I am going to focus my intent and mind on that one project and not cast on another until it is done.

I have picked something very challenging. Dianna caught my eye even though I knew it would not be an easy knit. I just love the entrelac leaves made out of lace.

The first thing I did was make myself a chart. I have trouble with the phrase "knit the knits and purl the purls." For me it makes more sense if it is charted; so that is what I did.

I played around with big needles and yarn and made a few leaves. I wanted to make sure I remembered how to do entrelac since it has been a while. And I must say, I'm happy with the results.

So now I'm going to wind 1000 yards of my Blue Heron Deep Blue Sea that I've had forever. I wanted something with long legs of color...the fall colors swatch seemed way too jumbled for this pattern to me.

So this is my project. I will not cast on anything new until it is done. I'm being honest with you...that I have two other things that I will knit on from time to time. One is a KAL that I'm doing with the fine ladies from my community and the other is the lapghan project that I'm doing with the community.

So wish me luck as I once again realize that a swift would be wonderful.

Have a super weekend!

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