Do Or Do Not There Is No Try

"To try is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard of life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, live, and love."
-- Leo Buscaglia

In the past, I talked about how I was stuck in this no-win situation.  I was afraid to fail; I was scared to succeed   I had talked myself into a stalemate where I just couldn't win.  But, I'm over that.  I have opened up the flood-gates to the Universe to help me in creating a better self and I am open to whatever they send to me.

I've been teaching, designing, planning a knitting cruise (more on that in later posts) and now I'm honored to be teaching at Knitter's Day Out.  My bio is on the same page as so many wonderful knitters and I'm just kind of pinching myself.  This really is a dream come true to be able to teach in such a wonderful venue surrounded by such amazing talent.

I am doubly happy that I will be able to teach the pattern the Frederick Shawl that honors my parents.  I can't really show the shawl yet so the little slice of linen stitch above will have to suffice for now.  I am so elated with the flow of this pattern.

This is Schaefer's Miss Priss in Gertrude Elion.  Schaefer is one of my favorite yarns for so many reasons.  Their colorways are named after famous women.  The yarn is so vibrant and wonderful to work with.  Sadly, Schaefer closed it's doors last year that is why I have no link for them.  I've been buying all the last stock that my LYS has, since this wonderful yarn will soon only be a memory woven in my projects and sitting in my stash.

Speaking of my stash, I tried to organize it a bit.  I swear I think the wool actually is breeding in my craft boxes, or maybe I just keep buying in my sleep.  Hmmmm.  I'm also working on organizing my patterns as well.  I've been taking all my silly notes and problem solving for my patterns and keeping them in a folder with sides and I put all my swatches in there as well.  That way my whole creative process is right there in one place.

Most of the week I spent organizing; there is always so much to do!  I've been trying to catch up on all the little things that I've let slide and I was able to take care of quite a few of them.

This week I have been happy to eat the produce as it comes in season.  We had such horrible bitter tomatoes this winter that it really forced me to eat foods that were more in season like squash and zucchini.  But now, there are radishes and tomatoes without all that acid available again and it makes me very happy.  I created a little salad for myself with gluten-free/dairy-free cheese and a safe dressing of berries and vinegar and it was so good.  I love salads.  I just have to be so careful with everything.

Right after Christmas, I started a food elimination program to help determine why I was doubling over in pain after meals.  For the first month, I ate nothing but all whole foods containing none of the big four contaminants: gluten, dairy, fructose and yeast.  This was a hard diet to maintain.  I found the foods I could eat and that was it.

I started to really look into food.  I've always been conscious about my dining decisions but I really had to dig deep into each food to see what might be lurking inside.  For instance chicken; many chickens are injected with things even though they say "all-natural".  I couldn't trust anything.  So this was truly an eye-opening experience to my food consumption.

I tested each of the "big four" and if a test was negative I could add that food back in.  It was a long process and now I know that I am dairy intolerant (not just lactose) and gluten intolerant.  This is on top of my citrus allergy which is much more dangerous.

So for the past few months I've been adjusting to this new diet and I've been working out what I can eat.  The biggest thing is cheese.  I miss my cheese; so I've been trying the soy cheeses and I've found one that melts and tastes pretty good.  It comes in a few flavors and I still have to try the cream cheese.  The crumbles melted and stretched like mozzarella should.   The pepper-jack had a nice heat to it and melts like a dream on my tuna.

But my biggest regret was all the deserts that I wouldn't be able to eat anymore.  In rushes Sterling Sweets to the rescue!  Their deserts are gluten free, dairy free, vegan, casein free, soy free, sesame free, peanut and tree nut free, refined sugar free and Kosher!  I find them all so delectable.  My favorite is the Coconut Chocolate Bars...they are like the This-over-that squares my Mom used to make.  I put in an order each week and they come fresh right from the kitchen.

So, all these diet restrictions take getting used to but I'm working my way through them to find a healthy balance.  I've lost that five pounds I couldn't lose and I've been maintaining my weight for about three months now.  At some point I'd like to start working out again but for now I just have to be content with the calories burned while knitting; which for my height and weight is 30 calories per hour.

Have a safe and beautiful Memorial weekend.
Ruinwen
:)