It is days like this that I am glad my Mom taught me to knit. She is a textile goddess and used to make the most beautiful things before her arthritis took hold. I know she misses creating things from beautiful fabrics and it makes me sad to see such a wonderful gift taken from her.
I know that being able to knit is a gift and I will treasure it as long as I am able; just like my Mom. Her cancer has come back again. I know she is scared and mad because I am too. I can do nothing but love her (as I have always done), be there for her, pray and send Reiki. Even so, I feel helpless, lost and desperately out of control.
The only thing I can think to do is knit something simple; something she will like. So I am knitting another baby sweater. My mom adores babies. Something comes alive in her that is so beautiful to see when she is with my son: something akin to spring gracing a barren world. So I am making this sweater out of King Cole Smooth in buttermilk. It is the softest acrylic yarn I have ever touched. I feel like I am knitting with liquid butter. I know mom will love it too.
I had to re-gauge the whole pattern for the King Cole and let me tell you after casting on and frogging 6 times I thought maybe this wasn’t the project for me! My Mom is a mathematician. She would have figured out how to convert all these stitches on the first try. I did not get that gift but I do have tenacity and I was not about to let the yarn win on this one! I finally figured it out and the pattern is working.
I’m enjoying row after row of smooth buttery garter. Simple, classic and wonderful to come back to after such a stressful day; again just like my Mom. My Mom has always been about the simple pleasures in life. She loves spending time with family. She taught me family is one of the most important gifts we have. Ours celebrates every milestone with a dinner. She also taught me that while you are alive you need to eat and it should be something you enjoy. She is a wonderful cook (I really think the math helps there too). I love her home cooking she always puts so much love and care into everything.
The color of the King Cole reminds me of Mom and butter. She would spend hours sautéing mushrooms until they were just right. Everything in our house was cooked in either olive oil, butter or both. It was never greasy but mmmmmm just right. My favorite thing in the whole world is my Mother’s potato pancakes. She would always make them when I couldn’t eat anything else. I’ve tried to make them the same but mine while good, are not moms. There is something about all the love she put into stuff that I can’t seem to duplicate.
There is no one quite like my mom. She always makes me laugh and cheers me up when I am down. She will give a stranger the shirt off of her back to help him out. She is talented beyond belief. She is has a sweet romantic side balanced by the Alias side. I can talk to her about anything and she really listens. I’m not saying she is perfect, because no one is, but she has ALWAYS been there for me and there is no greater gift then that. What can I say, she’s a great mom, and I am so blessed that she is mine. :)
As I knit some more rows on the sleeve level of this sweater I start to think about the cute little arms that will fill it. We’ve been trying for a while now. I’ve had to dissociate myself from the outcome because I was getting too disappointed each month. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with my family the way it is and I will be happy if we have another child. It is all blessings to me and it is all out of my hands. The waiting is always what I’ve been bad at…
So I will knit and cherish my Mom and all of my family and friends; which includes you the reader. All of you make life more enjoyable and fun. I will be happy and content with what I have and if more comes I will open my arms and take it in. And I will knit with this beautiful yarn in simple stitches over and over until I reach meditative bliss.