Wednesday, April 08, 2020

It Takes Two

"Public Service Announcement: Hate Week
We are entering the 20-35 day window that experienced Submariners recognize as HATE WEEK. During prolonged periods of isolation, even the best of friends lose it with each other. The most minor of irritation explodes into volcanic levels of rage you won’t understand. It is one part terrifying, one part pathetic, and one part pants pee hilarious
DO NOT LAUGH. DO NOT REACT.
Most who are acting out like this don’t understand it until they are winding down from escalation. Just let them be, no matter the stupid coming at you in social media or if they live with you.
They will come around. It is just stress. They really DON’T want a divorce. They really DON’T want to put things in an anatomically impossible manner, anywhere. They really don’t hate you. They are not going to hogtie or duct tape you and feed you to the ants.
It goes away in about a week. It’s hate week. It will be hilarious later, just not now.
If you need more tips. Just ask a sub sailor."--
Jefferson Kirkland

Saw this on my FaceBook feed.

Being home constantly 24/7 with the one you love is a mixed blessing.  On one hand, you love them and want them to be with you and to be safe on the other humans need some time alone with their thoughts once and a while.

Right now I think our relationships can become stretched pretty thin if we don't take time for ourselves and to share how we are feeling.

This is a super stressful situation right now.  Not only are our lives filled with the fear of the virus but we are being asked to change our entire lifestyle for an undetermined amount of time.

We need to take a timeout from the everyday confusion and negativity to find our centers again and then we can go back and be with those we love from a different perspective.

Because we do love our partners, children, and pets but this may be the first time we have ever been with them around the clock for days on end.  It is only natural that we start to unwind a bit which is why I used the above description from a sub sailor to let you know that these strange emotions you are feeling are normal.

Stress is normal during such extreme changes to your lifestyle.  You can't do anything about what is going on outside your house but you can try and find balance within it.  

From the CDC site:

Take breaks from the news.  Every once and awhile I look up something wholesome and cute just to take my mind out of the space it is in from all this panic.

Make time to unwind.  Finding time to laugh is really important and we watch our Minecraft YouTubers for a daily dose of fun.  We game as we always have and create moments of fun throughout our day.

Connect with others.  I take time each week to check on all the people I care about.  We still get together through FaceTime, Discord or sometimes just an old fashion phone call.  I text everybody and share things I find during the day that might bring a smile to their face.  

Take care of your body: take deep breaths, stretch or meditate.  Meditation is very important to my well-being even if I can't keep my mind blank right now it allows my body to rest for a bit.

Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.  As a family, we have chosen to plan our meals ahead and we eat what we have.  I am cooking now more than I ever have and it is a great way to connect with my family.

Exercise regularly and get a good night's sleep.  We exercise daily and I try and get my steps as well each day.  The simple act of working out together each morning is such a blessing.  We are helping each other become stronger and to stay active.  We are supporting each other in taking care of our bodies and this is such a powerful way to start the day!

It is hard to sleep when there is so much uncertainty that creates endless worry.  What I had to do after a week of little sleep was create a safe place to focus on when I closed my eyes for bed.  In the same way, mediation takes you back to your breath, if I lose sight of my safe place when worry sets in, then I gently take myself back there.  After a few days of this exercise, I found myself sleeping through the night again.  I mean, my rationale is all that stuff will still be there in the morning so for now, I just let it wait for me and sleep instead.

I'm happy that I have been able to sleep because the first week I kept hubby up with my tossing and turning so we were both sleep-deprived in the morning.  Add in a stressful pandemic and it was a little crazy here.

But, we got through that.

In truth, I feel blessed to have my hubby at home.  We are so grateful he and I work from home.  Working at home together has provided a few challenges but we are meeting them with communicating honestly.

My husband is not a worrier; I am a super-duper worrier.  
My husband is not a planner; I am a prepping, journaling organizer of the day.  

These two issues make working together a bit of a challenge.  

I want the day planned out even if it looks like, catch up on games, work out, eat chill a bit before starting the day.  Oh, there is the settling of cats around the computers as they get the prime warmest real estate in the house.  He goes to work as I put in some laundry.  Then I work a bit as they have their morning check-in around the globe.  The Governor usually makes an announcement of some sort by this time and we learn what new things we should be doing.  More loving of cats as they check in on us.  He and I break for lunch and chill a bit.  He goes back to work.  I scoop the cat boxes and then get a shower.  Frost is in the sink wanting some love.  I clean a bit and plan dinner (which was set the night before).  I go back to work.  Hubby takes a coffee break sometimes his people join him and that is pretty cool.  By this time, Shadow decides that I should take a break by bumping my mouse hand over and over until I stop and give him some love.  Hubby says he is winding down and I start dinner.  The whole family eats together and talks and chills and then we wind down.  I put any dishes away, make sure I have my steps for the days and log my calories.  I check in on FaceBook and send prayers and socially distanced hugs to all the posts that are in need.  We double-check our games.  Then we get ready for bed.  The last thing I do before I close my eyes is my prayers which are full of gratitude for all my blessings and comfort and healing for everyone in the world who is being touched or impacted by this virus.  
🙏

This is a rough outline of our life right now.  It changes a bit each day but mostly this is how our day-to-day looks.  I am being honest with my emotions and openly sharing them with my spouse.  He respects that even though I'm cool on the outside, on the inside I am freaking out.  To that end, our chill time does not contain news it is always filled with things that we both enjoy.  I love that he can listen to my voice and know when I am struggling and he will stop and reassure me with a hug or kind words.  It means everything to have my feelings validated and really heard.

I recognize that the days are blurring for him and it is hard for him to stay focused when he has lost all the markers of the week that gave them meaning.  Because of this, I start the day saying something like, "Oh, Wow it is Thursday, trash goes out today, and South Mountain will be delivering food tonight."  This gives him the marker he needs to give this day some meaning and brings him a little more focus back.  Everyone is impacted by confinement in different ways and bringing comfort to those that we love is such a simple thing but it means so much.

But with so much time together it is also so important to have things that we do apart.  He has his work and I have my knitting but there are all these little things that we did before all "this" that helped to create structure in our lives.  So we make sure that each of us gets to do those things.  Keeping a bit of normalcy in all this crazy is extremely grounding right now and actually very necessary.  

For instance, his afternoon coffee is very important to him.  When we were in Hawaii he would send back pictures to his workmates so they could all have coffee together.  He had to do it six hours early, which was our breakfast, to meet up with his mates, but it was super important for him and we made time for it each day.  So, now they have a virtual coffee get together and it is nice that they can take back a bit of their routine.  

Working on my journal is important to me.  As I have already stated, I am a planner, a prepper and an organizer.  I need this structure to feel tethered to something.  He always stops and asks if I've finished my journaling before doing our next thing.  

Journaling goals and such as been super stressful for me.  I've taken to writing what I did at the end of the day and not focusing on what didn't get done because it would drive me crazy with guilt.  This way my day columns are not empty, they are full of things I did to keep our household running.  It is easy to overlook all the things we regularly do because they were just part of our norm.  But now, those routine things may be all we can manage, and that is okay.

This is not the time to be beating ourselves up with guilt for not getting stuff done.  This is the time to be kind to ourselves and to realize that even though we are safe in our homes that maybe all the chaos outside of the house is affecting us.  This is normal.  We are in scary times.

In the beginning, it may seem hard to define the things that help you to feel centered.  I know the first week I was a basket case and I couldn't focus at all.  Hubby and I worked to create a routine that allowed downtime, communication and taking care of ourselves.

It isn't always easy.  No relationship is perfect.  Everything relationship whether with yourself or your mate takes constant work and upkeep.  Communication is key and being truthful about how you are feeling is so important.  

I am thankful for every day that my hubby and I are here together.  Sometimes, things are stressful, but on the whole, we are adjusting to this new normal one day at a time as a couple and a family with three cats who are ecstatic to have their humans home 24/7.

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My prayer for you is that you are healthy in body, mind, and spirit.  🙏
If you have the virus, I pray that you have a swift and total recovery.  🙏

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There are many different two-color patterns in knitting that change the fabric so drastically and add depth and interest.  This is one that really catches my eye.




Two-Color Mock Honeycomb

Note:  do not pull stitches too tight, try and keep an even tension.

Abbreviations

Knit - knit
Purl - purl
uls - under loose strand - (To K1 uls, insert your right-hand needle under the loose strand and then knit it together with the next stitch on your left-hand needle.  Bring the new stitch out from under the strand.



when you slip from the purl side with the yarn in the back it makes this strand

knit this strand with the indicated stitch and bring the new stitch out from under the strand
the stitch will look like this blue stitch on the right-hand needle when completed
sl - slip
WYIB - with the yarn in the back
WYIF - with the yarn in the front


Cast on in multiples of 4 + 1 (I chose 9 stitches for my chart sample)

Setup Rows

Setup row 1:  Purl all stitches
Setup row 2:  Knit all stitches


Written Pattern:

Note: This pattern starts on the wrong side, the even rows are on the right side.  When you read the chart the odd rows are read from left to right and the even rows are read from right to left (this is different then most charts).

Color A - Row 1: (WS):  *P1, sl3 WYIB* repeat ** until the last stitch, P1
Color B - Row 2: (RS):   *sl1 WYIB, K3* repeat ** until the last stitch, sl1 WYIB
Color B - Row 3:             *sl1 WYIF, P3* repeat ** until the last stitch, sl1 WYIF
Color B - Rows 4 - 5:     Repeat rows 2 - 3
Color A - Row 6:            *K2, K1 uls, K1* repeat ** until the last two stitches, K2
Color A - Row 7:      P2, *P1, sl3 WYIB* repeat ** until the last three stitches, P3
Color B - Row 8:      K2, *sl1 WYIB, K3* repeat ** until the last three stitches, sl1 WYIB, K2
Color B - Row 9:      P2, *sl1 WYIF, P3* repeat ** until the last three stitches, sl1 WYIF, P2
Color B - Rows 10 - 11:   Repeat rows 8 - 9. 
Color A - Row 12:            K2, *K2, K1 uls, K1* repeat ** until the last three stitches, K3

Repeat Rows 1 - 12 until the piece is the desired length

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Next week we will talk about gauge.

Thanks for reading!

If you have any questions regarding this or any of my other tutorials, please feel free to leave a question in the comments.

Happy crafting!
Ruinwen


😀






2 comments:

Rue said...

Oof. Gorgeous as that stitch pattern is, I think I'm gonna have to wait to try it with proper supervision. Even with the pictures I can't quite visualize what the yarn is doing.

Trevor Noah summed it up really well when he noted that a lot of people are discovering that, while they LOVE their spouses, they don't necessarily LIKE their spouses. Luckily you and your DH don't have that particular problem!

I think one of the things that makes your relationship so solid is that you never take it, or each other, for granted ... you're always communicating, always willing to keep working on it. I think too many people assume that once you fall in love, you're done ... and that's not how ANY relationship, even friendships or family, works.

Sorry I'm so long-winded ... I'm tired. :D

Loooooove
Rue

Ruinwen Dagorielle said...

Thank you for your post! I am blessed with this hubby of mine. I will be happy to show you the stitch when we can see each other again. Love you! :)