Sunday, December 01, 2013
So this week I had something really scary happen. I had a Posterior Vitreous Detachment in my eye. Suddenly there is a little gal that looks like a black iridescent worm dancing around my vision. The above picture was the closest I could come to what she looks like. Mine looks more like a circle that has a bulbous head (probably where it was attached to my retina before it came loose) that is an opaque black color.
Mom had all kinds of eye troubles so I headed into the ophthalmologist right away. After a long look into my eye with bright lights the Doc determined that it is just a floater and no harm to the retina was done.
Praise the Goddess! I can deal with this little gal floating around my vision if nothing else is wrong. Sure if I focus on the little worm then I can get quite agitated and having my vision blur out is a learning curve but they are both things I can deal with.
I told the Doctor that as long as I just have the floaters and flashers then I will give her a name and make her my best friend because we will be together for a long time. I decided to call her Iris. Yes, there is a bit of a pun in that name; but laughter is good for the soul. Iris is also the Goddess of rainbows and I love rainbows and colors and such; so I think it is a fitting name.
I've read a lot about people getting quite anxious about having floaters as they are always in your face. I was worried about it being worse then it was; but I don't feel anxiety anymore. I keep brushing away bugs that aren't there out of reflex and I find that when I write a curly little a seems to pop up and that is a little weird but my brain will adapt.
Bifocals were hard in the beginning but now I don't notice that line where it seemed like the world was bubbling up at all. This too will become a part of me and then I won't notice it so much either.
Of course the minute I got back from the eye doctor with my eyes all dilated I tried knitting a row. When I look at my knitting the floater hangs out on the right side of my eye and I barely notice it at all. What a blessing!
This week in the US we count our blessings. We take a moment to look deeply into our lives and see those things that we are so thankful for that maybe we take for granted the rest of the year.
The simple truth of the matter is that I am blessed. I have an awesome family, wonderful friends, a job that I love and a career that brings me joy.
This is the first Thanksgiving without Mom and Dad and though we will always miss them; they will always be a part of us. I am so thankful for the time with them, for the memories that will always be mine to treasure and proud that the Universe chose me to be one of their daughters.
As we spend our first year without our little Widdershins the same feelings lie in my heart. I miss her but I have such wonderful memories of how she took care of my hubby and our family. I know she asked the Universe to bring us Frost and he has brought mirth into our home. He is truly a treasure. And my love-muffin Shadow has become his best friend.
So many blessings...I choose to focus on them instead of some of the little things that are out of place at the moment. Every day you make a choice how to live, how to face the world...and I choose happiness over any worry or stress. I choose to embrace my family and friends. If I need help I will ask and not take the entire world on my shoulders. I have unpacked my metaphorical knapsack that I carry that was filled with worry and strife and I have worked really hard to let each negative idea go that serves no purpose in my life. For the things that remain that I still need to work on, I am thankful that I am learning and growing and striving to become closer to my soul's ideal.
Bright Blessings to all,