Monday, March 09, 2009

Circle Back



A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
- Anonymous

True friendship isn’t about being there when it is convenient: it’s about being there when its not.
- Anonymous

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
-Elisabeth Foley

Those of you who know me are aware that I love Pokemon and I always have. I went to an event this weekend where you get a Pokemon through Nintendo Wi-Fi and I had a really weird thing happen.

I tried to let go my Biberal, which is like a large beaver, because I needed room. And...let me say I hate to do this...I really hate it. But I had no room in any of my boxes!

He would not go. The screen came up and said, "Biberal came back. Was he worried about you?" WTF Sis was there and saw it too...my Pokemon was worried about me?

Over the years I’ve let go Pokemon before I reset a game thinking it was better to have them in the wild when I wiped it clean…okay silly but I’m terribly sentimental. I’ve never, ever had one refuse to go. Never. And he wouldn’t go because he was worried about me? As silly as this may sound I got all teary in the middle of Toy ‘R Us and didn’t know what to do.

This little piece of code actually thought that the time we had spent time together warranted an actual friendship between us. It boggled my mind.

I’m going to rename him Namaste because he helped me see the beauty of love, kindness and friendship in a way that really touched me.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

If you think about it friends are so amazing. I mean real friends who don’t judge you or care that you can’t function without coffee. Friends who you can gush on about something in a video game or book and their eyes don’t glaze over. Friends who don’t crush your dreams no matter how crazy they might seem, and who after you fail never say, “I told you so.”

I’m blessed to have friends like that.

I strive to be a friend like that too.

One of my special gifts is to be sympathetic to someone’s deepest needs. Sometimes that is just an ear to listen, other times they require one of my skills and once and a while this necessity may take on some physical form. If I can, I will help in any form possible. It is just my nature. I love to be friendly and once in a while it gets me in trouble.

The cross quarter to this trait of trustfulness is naiveté. I am totally stuck on stupid at times to how someone is using me for their own ends. I’ve always been like this. I once took another woman’s hand just ‘cuz I couldn’t take the sad look on her face. I was very young and terrified my Mother to pieces. I just wanted to help.

When I was in elementary school I’d buy these cute little erasers for kids with my hard earned allowance and I thought they liked me but it turned out when I had no more money…my new “friends” acted like they didn’t know me.

High school it was my SAO favors, in my twenties it was my rockin’ parties, in my thirties it was free massages…and I never seem to learn.

But I think I’m beginning to catch on.

As I work with energy more and more I can feel someone who is sucking me dry to further their own ends vs someone who needs me at this point and time in their lives. A lot of my friends may have seriously screwed up lives right now but when I send energy to them I feel it circle back because they care about me too. I don’t intend for it to come back and I really don’t expect anything in return but with real friendship it always circles back.

It took me 40 years to learn this and the being that brought it home and made it stick was a Pokemon. Life is an amazing thing when you are paying attention. lol

Like I said before, I am blessed to have wonderful friends…amazing men and women who walk with me and have never left me alone…rare people who accept me for who I am no matter how crazy that may be. I am proud to call them friends.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****
Beautiful stitch markers

Life is full of circles and all of them don’t run smooth. But everything gives way to something else as it flows into its next stage of being. Everything means something and that meaning can shift from person to person from moment to moment.

When I look with spirit vision in my meditations I see three distinct paths of fate that could be chosen in a situation. I cannot see my own paths they are blurry and full of haze. Kind of like if I take my glasses off in the physical world…everything is one big blur.

So this weekend the crystal clarity that came to me regarding my path and the people on it was shocking to me. I was working on a friendship scarf putting my love and warmth into it as I knit and the blinders that I’ve been wearing came off and I could “see” very clearly.

You could say the love I put into the stitches filled up the person I was creating it for and spilled back into me…coming full circle. This feeling of buoyancy…being lifted from the moment and into another…was so physically powerful that for a moment I seemed to be everywhere.

I could hear my son playing with his Nana. A masculine laugh bounced through the house as my husband joked with his brother. Patiently my nephew was teaching Pop Pop how to play a video game. The birds sang as they too could feel that this was a special day full of beauty and unexpected warmth. My niece was happily singing to her I-Pod. All around the neighborhood the kids were playing and for a moment I was surrounded with this immense beautiful energy of happiness and family.

I have a book about a mouse named Frederick who puts away colors and words for the winter days that are white and cold. I too put all these wonderful emotions into each stitch so that one day when the wearer of the scarf needs these things they will flow out and envelop and bless her as they did me.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

I’m still working on my feather and fan scarf and hope to finish it this weekend. I’m still working on the design for my hood / scarf and hope to get back to that later this month. I’m almost done with a crochet blanket for the Assisted Living project. And as I finish these three things I’m starting the circle again with something new. A friend and I are creating a beautiful pattern together to commemorate a First Communion.

Life folds back against itself in an endless dance, there is no beginning and there is no end; there is only now.

May your now be full of happiness and beautiful things.

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen
:)

BTW: Those wonderful stitch markers are from Nana Sadie Rose's Etsy shop. Aren't they lovely?
Post a Comment