Ooops!

This week has been so crazy what with the snow...Dentist...Dad...and my head just generally not being on my shoulders that I forgot to write a post.

Please forgive me.

I know I said this last week...but next week I will do better. I have tons to show you and share and I will get my butt in gear and write a decent post.

I'm going to spend Saturday with Dad getting all his bills in order and then madly knitting to try and catch up with my commission work.

I hope you have a beautiful weekend.
Ruinwen
:)

A Not So Typical Week

It seems that February has hit me with a curve ball.

Each of us has been sick. It hit DH and me harder then our son so I am dragging and looking forward to a week of doing nothing.

I have not knit a stitch in a week.

Dad is in the hospital because he will not take care of himself nor let us do the job. The Assisted Living he stays in made me feel like I'm at fault when I have done all I can do. He does not listen to us and spouts Fatherly experience but in the end does nothing to help the situation. *sigh* Please pray for him and me while you are at it...this has been a hard week.

A SWAT team appeared as if by magic across from where I work. For two hours it was guns, black cars, helicopters and tons of operatives. Scared the heck out of me. They did catch someone...but I have no idea what happened.

Social Services was called again by my ex-SIL. So we did the same old song and dance and they came to the same conclusion. It pisses me off that once again my child was called out to talk to them and she has put my family in jeopardy as well as hers. She doesn't seem to understand that if indeed they found something wrong they would take my child as well and they would be taken into foster care before being given to another family member. She doesn't understand that she would not be that member. And it pisses me off that once again we had to do this. But apparently this is my life and the social worker seemed pretty upset she had to come and visit a place that was cleared 120 days ago.

To top it off my son's fish died today. He admitted like an adult that he does not want another fish. He cannot keep up with the needs of another living thing and do his homework. My sweet poor little boy. Thank you Speedy for your loyalty when I'd come up to the tank you'd always swim to greet me. May your journey on the rainbow road be full of perfect streams filled with sunbeams and happiness.

So TGIF. I have nothing to show for this week expect I survived it.

Love you all,
Ruinwen
:)

One Step Forward...Two Steps Back

My son and I went to the Dentist last night. He had no cavities and actually enjoyed going...yay. I hadn't been since before he was born (I know bad Ruinwen) so I didn't know what to expect. But apparently I have good brushing habits and my gums and what is under them is good. *whew* I have to go back for a scaling and to fill a few little cavities...but that is it.

I've made my appointment for the work. I'm going to take my Valium and go to my happy place and not get freaked out about this. The Dentist was the nicest one I have ever met. He was honest and explained everything and told me that he would not do anything until I was good and numbed.

He said after that if I keep up what I've been doing and see him every six months then I shouldn't have to have scaling done again...or get a cavity. So I'm doing what my sister said...treat my body in the same way as my financial serenity (which is getting a set back of a thousand dollars) ...this is my first step to healthy serenity. Yay me. :)

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If you read this blog then you know that numbers and I don't get along. Sometimes I get dollars and time mixed up and it quite frustrating. Well apparently I also get inches and gauge mixed up and it was equally upsetting. After finally finding the gauge for my sweater I was told by a friend that I had seen 4 stitches where it said 4 inches...big difference.

So I swallowed what was left of my pride and ripped out my swatch and began again. This time I used size 9 needles and got my gauge on the first try. *happy dance* This is my sample swatch of the cable ribbing on the bottom of the sweater. The first part was done with size 9 needles and the second was knit with 8s. The pattern calls for a step down in needle size when you get to the ribbing. I understand that this helps to shape and create an accented waist...but I wonder if I need to go down a size.

This is superwash and I'm not sure how it blocks compared to actual wool. So I'm going into this with more questions than answers but the actual start of this sweater is Saturday. My friends are taking a class together and I am going to start it at home. So when we all get together we should be on equal ground.

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At Imbolic one of the things I start doing is looking at seeds. In many ways, this is torture to me. I'd love to plant herbs in all the beds but we have these termite things in each bed. I'm leery to eat anything that goes into that dirt. Plus they spray around the house so those beds are off-limits for herbs or vegetable matter.

And the past few years I haven't really had time to garden, but this year I want to plant some flowers in the beds and get some more containers for a few herbs and maybe a few veggies.

When looking at an herb I have a lot of criteria that I consider. First, it has to be something I will use in cooking or medicinally. I always like it to have a strong spiritual connection as well.

Take calendula for example. It is wonderful as a topical remedy for wounds and skin irritations. Calendula is known for its anti-inflammatory, astringent, anti-fungal, antiseptic, antioxidant, antiviral, and mild antibacterial properties.

Note: Calendula is generally considered safe for topical application. It should not be applied to an open wound without a doctor’s supervision. People who are sensitive to plants in the daisy or aster family, including chrysanthemums and ragweed, may also have an allergic reaction to calendula (usually a skin rash).

It can be used to create a rich beautiful yellow dye which has been used by many cultures. The leaves and petals can be sprinkled on salads or used in cooking. Some call it the poor man's saffron. You gain that rich yellow when you use it in your cooking, but it doesn't have saffron's same exotic flavor.

In magic, its powers come from the sun and the element of fire. It is an herb of protection, bolstering self-confidence, aiding in legal matters and helping decipher or induce prophetic dreams.

As a Flower Essence, it has Positive qualities for healing warmth and receptivity, especially in the use of the spoken word and in dialogue with others. It aids in patterns of imbalance of using cutting or sharp words; argumentative, lack of receptivity in communication with others.

And finally, it is really a beautiful herb. It has a sunny scent and looks striking in a bouquet of wildflowers. The one I'm looking at has a high resin content just for medicinal usage and it is a brilliant bright orange; the kind you might see at sunset.

So these are all the factors I think about as I think about planting. Right now our land is covered in snow and it is hard to think that spring is right around the corner...but a certain groundhog said spring was coming early and I choose to believe him. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend,
Ruinwen
:)

Disillusionment

One alone is not enough. You need both together.
Winter, summer. Moon and sun.
Lesson number one.

Like a rock you must be hard.
Like an oak you must stand firm.
Cut quick like my blade.
Think fast unafraid.

But you're still out of balance.
You're only halfway there.

Like a cloud you are soft.
Like bamboo you bend in the wind.
Creeping slow.
You're at peace because you know
It's okay to be afraid.

From Disney's Mulan II

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I just drew the 9 of wands for my Imbolic card reading. The Goddess wants me to persevere in the days to come.

But right now I am bummed. In the whole of the Universe my little trivial feelings mean nothing; but right now in this moment I am sad....really sad. You might remember how happy I was to get my little belly ring to honor my belly for all it has done in creating life. But not all these piercings take and after mine caught on the laundry basket it has never been the same. It began migrating a bit ago and I turned a blind eye to the whole thing. After all the pain and fear I had to overcome to get this done had to account for something. But tonight after drawing that card...I knew I had to take it out. And a part of me is mourning tonight. It seems most of the time I do something for myself it never works out as well as the things I do for others.

*sigh*

There is more ice and sleet on the way. More time for introspection as the world freezes and time is held captive. And I can hear the Goddess saying that I can't give up...I have to keep walking the path. All will be well.

But the path seems to be covered in a foot of snow and I think that I have lost my way again.

I'm not sure what She wants me to do or where I am to go.

I have been throwing all my creative energies into my knitting as of late. The shawl is growing by leaps and bounds and I can't believe I will be done before Spring graces the land. *believe me, my crocuses will not be rising anytime soon*

I have a pattern in the works that I've been wanting to make for me and I think it will be adorable. Our group is making a sweater together and I just ordered my yarn after much debate. So I am looking forward to some knitting for me in February. Then in March I need to work on stuff for the store. But Feb will be about finishing my shawl...knitting on a sweater that I plan to wear all the time and making something that came out of a dream two weeks ago. I'll share more as I obtain the yarn and more of a clue of what I am doing.

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I saw the moon and She was just a sliver hanging in the sky getting ready to go dark. I remember a lesson She taught me a long time ago that even the moon needs to take some time to bring Her light within. Her time of darkness is necessary to Her renewal. All living things need this time to go within and renew. Why should I be any different?

Bridget came to me today after the ice covered us this morning and gave me an answer for my question of last night. She told me that my path at this time is to cultivate me. I need this time to renew myself...to heal those things that need to be healed...to lessen my stress...to attend to things that I have ignored. This is my time to go dark and turn my light within.

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To be in balance is the greatest challenge anyone can face. Life often skews us one way or another and it takes a lot to tip the scales back to the center again.

There are many plants that know one cannot be strong all the time. When the winds of adversity come they bend with the pressure instead of cracking and breaking to pieces.

But ice is another story. A layer of ice on the trees seems beautiful; yet let it accumulate and it too will break even those that are pliant and lithe.

Ice can be equated to frozen thoughts. One troublesome thought can be nagging but with patience and perseverance you can work through it. But if that thought is layered upon itself over and over then your emotions can't help but spiral out of control.

February is a time to stop and go within. The snow and ice makes you slow down whether you want to or not.

I'm going to take this month to reach inside myself instead of outside. I have two projects that I would like to work on besides the shawl but beyond that I will focus on the shawl. I am up to 11 repeats and working on the 12th. I can do this.

I am going to the dentist on Tuesday. A part of me is screaming while a part of me is standing strong...so together I am in balance. lol

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I got my yarn yesterday for my sweater and I realized that I ordered the gauge of the yarn in the pattern but that instead of 4.5 stitches to the inch it called for...they really wanted 4 stitches to the inch. And this yarn that they used is bigger then mine by a bit so where as they can get gauge on an 8 or 9 sized needle; mine is more around the 10.5 range.

The problem is will this distort the stitches having such a small yarn on such huge needles? I was so happy to finally get gauge but I wonder if doubling up the yarn would make a difference. The problem with doubling is I lose the effect of the yarn. This yarn has a magical rainbow effect that drew me to choosing this yarn in the first place.

So I'm kinda lost on which way to go. But maybe the huge needle size won't change the pattern that much...it could all be in my head. The point is one way or another I'm still going to make this sweater.

If you have any words of wisdom from past experience with gauge like this...please let me know.

Have a super weekend!
Ruinwen
:)