Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Halloween / Happy Samhain!


there is a haunted house in town
where all the walls are tumbling down
where the cobwebs hang and the window shutters bang
and all the creatures gather round
…where the bats and cats and witches keep their skeletons in stitches as they sip their spider cider in the haunted house….
they’re there, they’re there they’re really there
watch out be careful and beware
oh beware
don’t you trick or treat or you’re the one they’ll eat
when the moon shines on the haunted house.

Sis...this is just for you... because we both know all these little ditties from camp and school. And we burst into song all the time. Love the Siiiister!

Have you ever woke up and felt like a totally different person?



When I woke up on Sunday...I felt vibrant and full of light. I'm not sure really why. We spent Saturday with friends at the local farm doing all kinds of Fall things; surviving the corn maze, burying my son in the corn pit, petting farm animals, jumping on a big pillow, picking pumpkins and drinking cider and eating pumpkin pie. It was a great day. The weather was perfect.

On Sunday I decided we should decorate for the season. We haven't done that in a while because of trying to keep the peace between the families. After talking to my BIL I realized that I give in too easily to other's demands in lieu of my own. My peace-at-any-price attitude is most times the wrong action to take.

So Sunday I woke up did my FB stuff then started the new Sunday ritual of doing something spiritual for an hour. I ended up doing a tarot reading which more or less told me that I was on the right track.

Why is it so hard to do something good for ourselves; yet we are so quick to act for others?

After my reading I got out the decorations and with help from my son and DH we had quite a good time making the house all spooky for All Hallows Eve.

It felt good to do something so ridiculously simple.

I wish you and yours a blessed All Hallows Eve...and if you celebrate...Happy Samhain!

Ruinwen
:)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Time Out

"There is a harmony
In autumn, and a lustre in its sky,
Which through the summer is not heard or seen,
As if it could not be, as if it had not been!"
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

I don't know where this month went...or this week for that matter.

My son has been working on a project and that has taken most of our free time this week.

I feel so lost. There is a week until Halloween and I have no decorations adorning our house. There is a week until Samhain and I have not written new goals that I wish to achieve in the coming year.

But really is this anything new for me?

I used to be very organized. I used to never miss a full moon or changing of the season without taking some time to celebrate. Now my life is so full of the day-to-day stuff that I feel it is really unbalanced.

I miss the smell of frankincense, myrrh and dragon's blood. Ritual has always been very important to my life. I keep hoping there will be more time for it But let's face it; during the week that just cannot happen.

Time is a commodity that I just don't have during the week. The only way I can squeeze in a little more is to stay up past my 8:00 p.m. bedtime...like I am now.

But then I'm dragging in the morning...and that means I'm pushing myself the whole day...and that is just bad.

I know that I'm not alone. I see those I care about dancing their daily grind until they can hardly keep their eyes open...these stress inducing lives make little time for just being...instead there is always somewhere to be.

I can't do anything about the endless dance that is Monday through Friday. It is what it is. I know that I'm not the only one who leaves their work only to stop here and there before finally making it home. And home does not mean that one can rest...it only means it is time for a new set of goals and rituals...until finally our bodies say, "ENOUGH!" and we drop from exhaustion.

What I am learning is that the weekends can not follow the week's example. There must be times of rest followed by moments of sheer joy. It cannot be all about catching up on everything that one couldn't cram into the week.

What I am finding is that by taking some time for myself I'm not as frazzled. When Monday rolls around I can face it without dread. All the little changes that I've made seem to be working.

I'm finding when it gets to be too much during the week I can take a breath and see beyond it.

I realize that I have not shown much crafting pictures...but I am medias res and will soon hopefully bear some fibery fruit that I can photograph.

I wish everyone a blessed weekend with plenty of spaces in-between everything else to cultivate joy and harmony.

Ruinwen
:)

Friday, October 15, 2010

Starting From Scratch

Diagonal Baby Blanket
To be happy at home is the result of all ambition.
Samuel Johnson

Last week I was sick with a horrible head cold and my husband picked up the slack and helped me do all the things I was too weak to do. This week he is the one who is ailing and I'm doing my best to compensate and help him out.

Relationships are all about give and take and hopefully keeping the balance towards the middle so no one person feels they have to do it all alone.

I've been mentioning how I wanted to rethink the store and I'm happy to say that after a meeting of the three of us I was able to order some new yarn from Knitpicks for each of my items. One of our goals is to make my items cost lower. I'm happy to say that I think we can do this for some of the items...not so sure about the others. But one step at a time.

I've been thinking about the reason I started this store so many years ago...and more then showcasing everyone's individual talent it was about making a better life for me and all involved. But the financial side of it never really came to pass and it would frustrate me...but then I was never really good at the whole math thing.

Even now when I dream of winning a million dollars the first thing I would do is buy my BIL and his kids a house, the second would be to buy a house for a friend of mine who needs it...I'd give to various charities and then hopefully have a third left over to pay off our house and bills...maybe a little would be left over for a vacation.

The point is one of the things that makes me happiest is to know that those I love are happy and safe. So usually any headway we make is countered by our need to give back to those who are less fortunate.

I've tried to be better about it over the years and I make sure money is automatically taken out of my account for me. The say that you should pay yourself first...pay your bills first...take care of your own house first. So I do.

The store is a different matter. It is a big anomalous blob of questions for me. How does one get paid for their time that they put into an object? How can you make things that are cost effective in a rural country market where people don't want to pay more then $5 for anything? What the heck to people actually want when it comes to my products?

I really couldn't answer any of these questions so I just started from scratch. In changing the yarn I need to see how each piece will behave and find out if it will work. Being affordable and nice texture is also very important to me. I will never make something out of a yarn I don't like to help with costs. That is against the fiber of my very being...pun intended.

My sister also put forth that the items I make should not be something that one picks up and says, "Hey I could make this." The better thing to hear is, "Oh, I could make this but it would take so much effort...and this is a really good price for this kind of work."

So, I'm trying to shift to patterns that are of my making and not very common. It gives me great joy when someone tries to figure out what I did to create something. :D I had so many people finger my diagonal crochet blanket and not be able to figure it out...heh it made me feel like I had stumbled on this big secret...which is actually really easy once you know the trick.

So all these ideas are going into my new line of products. And I will spend the Winter trying to make them all work for a decent price with nice yarns.

Every show we have made back our site fee but wouldn't be absolutely wonderful if we could not only pay for our material...but make a little profit? (GASP) I'm getting giddy thinking about it.

I hope everyone has a beautiful Fall weekend!
Ruinwen
:)

Note: A pic of a past diagonal crochet blanket. This one we donated to the Great Dane Rescue Society...but it was a personal favorite because it was alpaca and soft heathered wool.

Friday, October 08, 2010

The Sound of Silence

"Only when one is connected to one's own core is one connected to others... And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be re-found through solitude."

-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

This last weekend was Fall Fest and solitude is not the word I would use to describe it. Due to a drain problem the kids area was moved into our craft and food area and there were a cacophony of generators whirring away near us. There was a train "toot tooting" all the live long day that started driving me bonkers about 4:00 pm each day. And there were sweet lovable Great Danes next to us that woofed so low and deep it would startle me from my thoughts.

But somehow within that din of white noise, children, trains and dogs I found the answers I've been seeking in some difficult soul searching questions.

So my silence is not one that is devoid of noise...it is rather a place within the heart beat of life itself. It is in the mighty roar of the ocean that I can truly find peace...or during a thundering rainstorm that my answers come. And since neither of those were handy the Universe threw together a recipe of sound that I could retreat into for a moment in time.

I must say it was a great weekend. The weather held out and it was just cold enough that people needed some knitwear. DH, sis and I had a great time...as always...crafting and talking. We got locked out of our house...but that was okay too because we went out to eat and sat outside in the sunshine and enjoyed the night and really good food. We came away from the Fest with some great ideas and hopefully they will bear fruit.

I've recommitted myself to our store. I have a mission before next show to really streamline some ideas and to create some new options. As a family, we are going to have meetings once a month and see where everyone is and use them for crafting days where we catch up on stock. My personal goal is to create one item per week.

I think if we really committed ourselves...we could do really well with the store. The thing is we want to keep the balance we have now of friends and family. We spend so much time during the week on homework or just fighting to keep up with the daily stuff; that the weekends are really precious to us. We don't want to lose that down time because it is so necessary to us and our sanity.

My sister made me a little sanity bag that I love. It has a pinch of all kinds of good things in it and life is really like that. You don't need a lot...but you do need a bit of each of them to stay sane...love...kindness...compassion...fun....happiness...family...friends...in our case gaming...a little spice to change things up or to accent what you have...and voila...my sanity in a nutshell.

Hugs to all of you!

Happy crafting,

Ruinwen

:)