There is a time in knitting when I’ve memorized the pattern and suddenly I become one with my project. It is in that moment when my breathing slows and my heart follows the rhythm of my fingers.
It is a well-known fact that your heart will follow a sustained beat. In shamanic drumming, a beat can take you on an inner journey and reveal hidden knowledge. Rhythm is very powerful
In knitting, I find there is an underlying beat. A song forms from the sound that the needles make when they “kiss” as they create a stitch, the quiet “swoosh” of yarn as it moves from needle to needle and the unseen element of muscle memory as my hands follow the pattern’s journey. The result is a lulling quiet place where my mind starts to furiously fill the void with to-do lists and things I could be doing.
But I quiet my mind with a gentle, “Shhhh,” and ask it to enjoy the moment of serenity and it sits and waits and speaks up again and once more I gently urge it to enjoy the moment. This time and so many others it tries to break in and muddle my thoughts and I take its hand like a small child and lead it back to the place of stillness.
My mind may be stubborn but my body is more than willing as I feel my breath slow and each muscle gives up its stored stresses. Finally, my mind is quiet and I am totally serene and blissful as I sit and knit.
Soon my mind will wake up and begin again and this time I let it unload, surprised it cautiously hands me my to-do list but now it has changed. There are things that no longer need doing or the way they need doing has changed. I think secretly my mind likes our little sparring matches and is more than happy to be at peace for once in the day…but I don’t let on that I know that. :)
As much as knitting is to make beautiful projects it is also a place to come to think or to let go. Either way, take time once and a while to visit that place that comes out of the mists like Avalon when the knitter, yarn, and needles are one.
Ruinwen
:)
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
To Thine Own Self Be True
"Let the waters settle
you will see stars and moon
mirrored in your Being."
-- Rumi
I have nothing to show for my knitting efforts as of late since I have done nothing but frog my three attempts at lace. You see I forgot that knitting is my solace the balm that allows the stress to be erased from my being. I forgot the simple joy of creating and got caught up in the end result.
I could blame it on being an Aries because we are go-getters with no follow-through, but the cause of my forgetfulness lies not in blame but in falling back into old patterns where my needs come last.
I forgot about my needs being just as important as everyone else’s and that will not do. You see I crochet blankets (one a week) for my business and then I sell them twice a year at spring and fall festivals. I got so caught up in the joy of making my clapotis that I missed making four blankets. Now I am trying so hard to catch up that I have no time to knit. And with no time to knit, I feel the stress kicking up through my being eating away at all the good I have done. It is akin to fasting for a week and then devouring something full of grease and fat and feeling it seep into your cell walls and clog up every artery. With one bad choice, you can feel what you have done to your health.
This is what I have done to myself. Don’t get me wrong I love crocheting but I don’t do it for the same reason which is why I don’t usually mention it. It doesn’t give me the same joy that knitting does. I can’t explain it…but I find so much peace and connection in knitting and I really loved knitting clapotis. It was the finest thing that I have ever made and it taught me more than any other piece I have worked on has. I felt so in tune and serene (even when I was pulling my hair out) and my whole world seemed balanced.
But I haven’t knitted like that for a while and each time I try it is a “quickie” between an exhausting day and bed. The result is that since I have not honored my yarn and let it teach me, it creates a mess which needs to be frogged. When I was frogging for a higher purpose it didn’t bother me so, but now I am almost in tears.
So I have decided and you dear readers can be my witnesses: twice a week I will not even look at my blankets…even though I am behind…if I rush and suffer in the process then all will be for naught. So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I will give thanks, cast on and begin a new chapter in my life... Tuesdays and Thursdays will become devoted to my knitting so my life can have balance again.
When you find that one thing in your life that allows serenity to slip into your being and set your soul ablaze, hold on to it like a dear friend and cherish the gift you have been given…now I need to follow my own advice.
Ruinwen
:)
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Broken Needle and Understanding Lace
Alas, my plastic needles that are older then I am broke today. The little blanket that I carry with me to knit in the car or in a line and now I have to mix needle types and hope there are no problems. *sigh*
I have begun making lace. I have frogged, tinked and otherwise started over three times but last night I think I got it!
I always have trouble with YO. Some patterns they tell you what stitch needs to contain the YO and others expect you to magically fathom what they are thinking. But after three tries I think I understand that the YO comes before the K2tog.
So when I have more than 6 rows I will post some of my lace. When I have a good enough grasp of it I will make a shawl out of actual lace weight yarn! My sister gave me some beautiful angora hand-spun yarn for my birthday and it begs to be something beautiful. Also in my stash (which is down to 201 skeins), I found six skeins of beautiful lace weight yarn that I want to make the Falling Leaves Shawl from Lavish Lace,
So, I'm slowly being enveloped by lace. It is consuming me. I love the look and once I understand the pattern, it seems to flow. I think making the clapotis helped me in that department because I learned so much that helped expand my knowledge of stitches.
A whole new world has been opened up to me and I bravely walk through the gateway.
Ruinwen
:)
I have begun making lace. I have frogged, tinked and otherwise started over three times but last night I think I got it!
I always have trouble with YO. Some patterns they tell you what stitch needs to contain the YO and others expect you to magically fathom what they are thinking. But after three tries I think I understand that the YO comes before the K2tog.
So when I have more than 6 rows I will post some of my lace. When I have a good enough grasp of it I will make a shawl out of actual lace weight yarn! My sister gave me some beautiful angora hand-spun yarn for my birthday and it begs to be something beautiful. Also in my stash (which is down to 201 skeins), I found six skeins of beautiful lace weight yarn that I want to make the Falling Leaves Shawl from Lavish Lace,
So, I'm slowly being enveloped by lace. It is consuming me. I love the look and once I understand the pattern, it seems to flow. I think making the clapotis helped me in that department because I learned so much that helped expand my knowledge of stitches.
A whole new world has been opened up to me and I bravely walk through the gateway.
Ruinwen
:)
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
The Feel of Yarn
"Too often, people focus only on results. But getting results without learning something or without having fun are incomplete. So is having fun without getting the results, or having fun without learning something new to help and empower you in the future. Accomplishment is all three: the result, personal growth and having fun."
-- Peter L. Hirsch
I was knitting away on a baby blanket today and suddenly I realized that my gaze was on the flowers coming up through the renewed earth and not on my project. Some how I had forgotten to look at my knitting and my hands knew just what to do.
I wondered if it was a fluke so I decided to “test” my new gift. Once again my hands knew how to finish the row. Suddenly it was if a whole new world had been opened up to me and the grass seemed a little greener and the world took on a brighter hue.
I’ve learned from knitting and watching movies how not really watching makes me hear things that I don’t notice when I am viewing the movie. Little sounds under the music come alive but when I try and find them again with my eyes, it is as if they have disappeared.
The same thing is happening as I knit. I suddenly “feel” the yarn. Now that I can’t see it with my eyes, my hands are seeing it as if for the first time. I can feel how it is thinner then my other yarns that I have been using as of late also it is not as soft. But it moves very well from the ball to the needles with little resistance.
I must admit I am drawn to a yarn by its color scheme. But now when I cannot see the color, I wonder if I would have picked it on feel alone. Maybe after my diet is up I will go to a yarn store and take home whatever feels good to my fingers…they deserve a treat after all.
I don’t know how much automatic knitting I’m going to do in the future but maybe once a day for five minutes I will allow my fingers the simple pleasure of sensing the yarn. Who knows what it will teach me tomorrow?
Ruinwen
:)
-- Peter L. Hirsch
I was knitting away on a baby blanket today and suddenly I realized that my gaze was on the flowers coming up through the renewed earth and not on my project. Some how I had forgotten to look at my knitting and my hands knew just what to do.
I wondered if it was a fluke so I decided to “test” my new gift. Once again my hands knew how to finish the row. Suddenly it was if a whole new world had been opened up to me and the grass seemed a little greener and the world took on a brighter hue.
I’ve learned from knitting and watching movies how not really watching makes me hear things that I don’t notice when I am viewing the movie. Little sounds under the music come alive but when I try and find them again with my eyes, it is as if they have disappeared.
The same thing is happening as I knit. I suddenly “feel” the yarn. Now that I can’t see it with my eyes, my hands are seeing it as if for the first time. I can feel how it is thinner then my other yarns that I have been using as of late also it is not as soft. But it moves very well from the ball to the needles with little resistance.
I must admit I am drawn to a yarn by its color scheme. But now when I cannot see the color, I wonder if I would have picked it on feel alone. Maybe after my diet is up I will go to a yarn store and take home whatever feels good to my fingers…they deserve a treat after all.
I don’t know how much automatic knitting I’m going to do in the future but maybe once a day for five minutes I will allow my fingers the simple pleasure of sensing the yarn. Who knows what it will teach me tomorrow?
Ruinwen
:)
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Yarn Diet
I have decided to follow my friend Sallee and participate in a yarn diet. You see I was blessed by two Grandma's giving me their stashes and that alone fills up 12 copy paper boxes. I also have other various sorters and a dresser filled with left over yarn from projects.
Earlier this year I gave away two copy paper boxes full to charity...but I didn't really make a dent in the stash.
So, I Ruinwen hereby solomly swear to not buy any more yarn until I have used up EVERYTHING in my 12 copy paper boxes!
I have figured a way to do this you see. I will learn Fair Isle which has been on my list of things to do and this way I can strand the colors in projects. I will also use the thinner yarns together in projects that call for two strands...but I will use up the old stash before I buy any more new yarn.
I have even put a Yarn Diet button on my blog to remind me of my promise. Speaking of buttons, I now have some thanks to my DH and my sister drew our Vixenpath logo and I turned it into a button all by my self!
May you all be my witnesses to my pledge!
Ruinwen
:)
Earlier this year I gave away two copy paper boxes full to charity...but I didn't really make a dent in the stash.
So, I Ruinwen hereby solomly swear to not buy any more yarn until I have used up EVERYTHING in my 12 copy paper boxes!
I have figured a way to do this you see. I will learn Fair Isle which has been on my list of things to do and this way I can strand the colors in projects. I will also use the thinner yarns together in projects that call for two strands...but I will use up the old stash before I buy any more new yarn.
I have even put a Yarn Diet button on my blog to remind me of my promise. Speaking of buttons, I now have some thanks to my DH and my sister drew our Vixenpath logo and I turned it into a button all by my self!
May you all be my witnesses to my pledge!
Ruinwen
:)
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Clappy Close Up
I was just so intrigued to see this all come together. Me and clappy have had some seriously tense moments but in the end, she came out beautifully! Here is a close up for your viewing pleasure!
The Knit Red Knit Along Clapotis is Fini!
After long last, my clapotis is done and I am so happy with it! I am going to make another in a few months with the rainbow Dreams Carron yarn in Rosy Forecast...but it will be smaller...this one is huge!
Ruinwen
:)
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
The Courage To Be Imperfect
Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I hope for those of you who celebrate you had a Happy Easter / Ostra. We had the family over and 1 surprise guest. I strayed from the traditional path and served seafood (shrimp, mussels, clams, scallops and flounder) and huntsman’s stew (sausage, pork chops and chicken thighs). Everything was good but it left me little time to knit.
On Monday night our neighbor had smoldering wires and we had three fire engines and two ambulances with strobes going arrive to our neighbor hood around 11:00 pm and stay for quite a while. Everyone was fine though the house took a little damage. Needless to say I never got back to sleep.
And that said, I knew I shouldn’t knit when I was so very tired but I did and now today I find that as I unravel my ladders on my clappy there is a big, most terrible mistake in my work. And I was about to just rip the whole thing out when a voice in my head said, “You can fix this. No it won’t be perfect but only you will know.”
And it made me think about the reason for this clappy and that I probably talk to people who have some sort of inner blemish that none of us can see but makes them who they are. For me it is my inner ear it was damaged either in formation or when I got really sick one year and now I have vestibular neuronitis. If I lean to far one way without leaning the other way I get vertigo for about three weeks. But you wouldn’t know it to look at me.
Most people that have heart disease don’t look any different on the outside. But on the inside there is some trouble with their heart. You see my clappy is still teaching me about life and it wanted something hidden that no one else could see so that it could become a symbol…a symbol of the Courage to Be Imperfect.
I think imperfection is harder then perfection. In perfection you are striving towards something that cannot be but you can forever work towards. In imperfection you have to accept yourself and all that makes you a whole and complete being. I feel it is far scarier to accept ones’ self as we are.
It is that lesson that my clappy teaches me today. Isn’t it beautiful? If you didn’t know about the mistake you might never find it, though now I bet you will look for it because you know it is there. Yes, I will leave it there and remember this lesson and just maybe I can look at myself with a little more love and a little less criticism...after a much needed night of sleep.
Enough of that. My clappy is on the decrease rows and as soon as she is finished and blocked I will put up pictures.
I have worked on nothing else since the last posting…so will have nothing else to show.
I have decided to make another clappy. Originally I bought a poncho from Old Navy that is a clapotis sewn together poncho style and then stitches were picked up for a neck collar. I like this idea and I may make one this way later…the jury is still out on this one.
I hope you all are enjoying the sun if you have it.
Ruinwen
:)
On Monday night our neighbor had smoldering wires and we had three fire engines and two ambulances with strobes going arrive to our neighbor hood around 11:00 pm and stay for quite a while. Everyone was fine though the house took a little damage. Needless to say I never got back to sleep.
And that said, I knew I shouldn’t knit when I was so very tired but I did and now today I find that as I unravel my ladders on my clappy there is a big, most terrible mistake in my work. And I was about to just rip the whole thing out when a voice in my head said, “You can fix this. No it won’t be perfect but only you will know.”
And it made me think about the reason for this clappy and that I probably talk to people who have some sort of inner blemish that none of us can see but makes them who they are. For me it is my inner ear it was damaged either in formation or when I got really sick one year and now I have vestibular neuronitis. If I lean to far one way without leaning the other way I get vertigo for about three weeks. But you wouldn’t know it to look at me.
Most people that have heart disease don’t look any different on the outside. But on the inside there is some trouble with their heart. You see my clappy is still teaching me about life and it wanted something hidden that no one else could see so that it could become a symbol…a symbol of the Courage to Be Imperfect.
I think imperfection is harder then perfection. In perfection you are striving towards something that cannot be but you can forever work towards. In imperfection you have to accept yourself and all that makes you a whole and complete being. I feel it is far scarier to accept ones’ self as we are.
It is that lesson that my clappy teaches me today. Isn’t it beautiful? If you didn’t know about the mistake you might never find it, though now I bet you will look for it because you know it is there. Yes, I will leave it there and remember this lesson and just maybe I can look at myself with a little more love and a little less criticism...after a much needed night of sleep.
Enough of that. My clappy is on the decrease rows and as soon as she is finished and blocked I will put up pictures.
I have worked on nothing else since the last posting…so will have nothing else to show.
I have decided to make another clappy. Originally I bought a poncho from Old Navy that is a clapotis sewn together poncho style and then stitches were picked up for a neck collar. I like this idea and I may make one this way later…the jury is still out on this one.
I hope you all are enjoying the sun if you have it.
Ruinwen
:)
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Obsidian
This is Obsidian and he is eyeing my yarn. He is a huge black ball of love. He is a beside-your-lap cat and he talks to us all the time.
Scarf with Tail
ETA: another lost picture due to upgrading. It was a really pretty purple piece.
This is the latest scarf with Obsidian's tail in the background. I loved this eyelash yarn but working with it was really frustrating! I used size 15 needles and it seemed to help...but golly all those lashes get tangled up and caused me a lot of grief! And I tried to frog the piece I first created but it would not unknit! Crazy stuff!
This is the latest scarf with Obsidian's tail in the background. I loved this eyelash yarn but working with it was really frustrating! I used size 15 needles and it seemed to help...but golly all those lashes get tangled up and caused me a lot of grief! And I tried to frog the piece I first created but it would not unknit! Crazy stuff!
Investigating the Tail
I think cats love clapotis because they are both drawn to it. Widdershins is looking for Obsidan's tail and not allowing my DH to take a good picture!
Widdershins Chasing Obsidian's Tail
As you can see the final outcome of my clapotis shoot was Widdershins trying to find Obsidian's tail. I thought that this no longer bordered on cute and whisked away my clapotis to a cat-free zone!
Summer Tank Top in Pink
ETA: I lost the photo for this when I updated the blog. It was magenta and a pearly pink and very squishy.
I am making another tank top since my camo one found a home with my sister. I have decreased the size and I am knitting it on circular needles. I love circular needles! This way I never miscount my rows and there are no side seams. Also, it knits up so fast. This is an hours worth of work!
This tank is for me since I love pink. My sister says it is really comfortable and keeps her warm so I am looking forward to having one in my wardrobe too!
Ruinwen
:)
I am making another tank top since my camo one found a home with my sister. I have decreased the size and I am knitting it on circular needles. I love circular needles! This way I never miscount my rows and there are no side seams. Also, it knits up so fast. This is an hours worth of work!
This tank is for me since I love pink. My sister says it is really comfortable and keeps her warm so I am looking forward to having one in my wardrobe too!
Ruinwen
:)
Son's Green Sweater off Circs
I really miss the easy nature of the circular knitting needles! This sweater is knitting up faster then I expected and I really love the colors that my son picked out!
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I'm Sitting on a Lily Pad at the Frog Pond
"If we are to achieve a rich culture, rich in contrasting values, we must recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so weave a less arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human gift will find a fitting place."
-- Margaret Mead
In the vastness of the Universe, I am contemplating the role of frogging and how it applies to me because it is easy to become frustrated and rip everything you've done in a "dark night of the soul" moment. I know...I've done it so many times. I used to just start over instead of painstakingly unraveling each stitch because it seemed so much easier.
But as of late I have been trying to let the yarn teach me. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine...being an Aries I am very headstrong...
I have learned that there are degrees of frogging. Sometimes you have to rip the whole thing out and it is unavoidable, but other times you only need to rip out a few rows. And unknitting takes patience you can't just unknit. You need to see the flow of your piece and make sure all the stitches aren't twisted as you transfer them from needle to needle.
It seems this is a lesson that I must learn since both my son's sweater and my clapotis decided last night would be a good time for a class in frogging. So here I sit on a lily pad beside the frog pond unraveling my work stitch by stitch and row by row and somehow I realize that this is a good thing.
Frogging helps to fix mistakes that might probably later ruin my work. So it is a necessary part of knitting, it has its place in the Universe and right now I bow to tonight's lesson of patience
Ruinwen
:)
Monday, March 14, 2005
The Blessing of the Red Clapotis
I really love the Encore yarn that I am using for the clapotis. It reminds me of the warm days ahead with its blazing reds.
I've gotten into the groove of this now and at least for the section I am on, I have no trouble following the pattern.
I substituted my rubber band markers for these little white plastic ones and now the piece moves freely back and forth across the needles.
Since this is my project for heart awareness I am working on it mostly before bed and meditating on all the wonderful "hearts" that fill my life on a daily basis.
I am truly blessed with wonderful family and friends. I have a Mother and Father who have always been the pillars that I could lean on when I was too weary to go on. They have supported my interests over the years even if they haven't understood them. No one could ask for more loving parents.
I have a wonderful sister who also has been there for me in my darkest hours. I can always count on her love and support and kicking me in the butt when I need that too! :)
I have a partner who weaves his interests in with mine to form a beautiful life together. His hand has always been intertwined in mine when I am starting to falter. I can always count on his love support to get me through anything.
My son shows me daily new ways to appreciate life and how to really see the beauty in it. He is really amazing. And when he says, "Mommy I love you so much!" my heart just melts!
I have wonderful friends who uplift and support me and we have so much fun together!
I have e-friends who I've never met who are so sweet and wonderful!
So as I said before, I am truly blessed and as I knit and purl I am weaving all this goodness into my work.
I am going to raffle the clapotis off at Spring Fling with flyers on the heart info so that I will actually educate people in the process.
So there you go, the yarn is shaping me. What started out as a love-hate project has become an appreciation of my life and the people in it project.
Ruinwen
:)
Green Sweater For My Son
Sweater knitting is very relaxing. I love using circulars because for stockinette every row is knit. So it really goes fast! I love working with the contrasting greens my son picked for his sweater.
Despite my problems, in the beginning, I really love this sweater. Oh, I also learned how to stop a hole from forming when making the first join. Cast on one extra stitch and then knit that stitch and the joining stitch together...and voila! No hole.
Ruinwen
:)
Despite my problems, in the beginning, I really love this sweater. Oh, I also learned how to stop a hole from forming when making the first join. Cast on one extra stitch and then knit that stitch and the joining stitch together...and voila! No hole.
Ruinwen
:)
Three scarves for Spring Fling
I made three scarves for out Spring Fling Fair. I really liked working with all the different textures in the yarns.
On a side note, my wonderful sister wanted the Summer Camo Tank Top that didn't fit me. It fit her beautifully! So I am so happy that the tank has found a good home!
Ruinwen
:)
On a side note, my wonderful sister wanted the Summer Camo Tank Top that didn't fit me. It fit her beautifully! So I am so happy that the tank has found a good home!
Ruinwen
:)
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