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| Me and DH in 2005 at the Outback |
Somewhere in this pandemic year, I have come to realize that the things I do for my family, the house, our cats, and myself are all worth it. They aren't drudgeries that I have to do every day, they are blessings that I am able to do for myself and others.
I knew this, of course, it isn't a new shocking revelation.
But, it also is.
For instance, now I look forward to doing dishes after a meal. I like the warm soapy mediation time that I have with me and the pots and pans.
If I am doing dishes then I know that my family just ate a meal and that in itself is a blessing.
Also, a part of me knows that all these pots and pans came up from me cleaning the basement and that makes me smile.
I always try to help out with the dishes anywhere that I eat because I know how much time and effort goes into fixing a meal.
When I wash them I like to think of the wonderful meal that we just ate, even as I am scrubbing the evidence of it away from the surface of my dishes.
Each pot, pan, or dish gets my individual attention and some need more time than others to get clean.
Being mindful while doing a task keeps your mind focused on every aspect of it. Mindfulness is what turns the ordinary into a meditation.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is staying present in the moment intentionally without judgment. It is noticing what is going on in the moment and in this moment, this now there is no past no future.
This is hard for a society that is forced to be moving towards the next thing on autopilot.
We are always doing.
Meditation is being.
Meditation is being aware of the smallest things like how the warm soapy bubbles feel on my skin as I wash a dish.
Meditation is noticing a chip in the plate I am cleaning and being more gentle with it.
Meditation is doing one task with all of your senses focused on that task.
When I begin a new task, it starts with a breath. My breath signals my body that I am slowing down and my mind then focuses on the task.
If I start to feel rushed or any emotion that takes me away from my meditative state, I thank it and ask it if it would like to sit awhile with me while I finished my task.
Sometimes the panic starts to rise up in me and I have to stop and take another breath. Panic is a stress response. The opposite of this is the relaxation response.
In a panicked state, your nervous system is ramping up with nervousness, dizziness, nausea, increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, and/or an increased respiratory response.
In a relaxed state, your nervous system is ramping down with a lower heart rate, lower blood pressure, and muscle relaxation.
This relaxed state also promotes better memory, reduced stress and anxiety, clearer thinking, and increases imagination and creativity.
I have had panic attacks for as long as I can remember. These last few years I have been able to feel my body changing and I can usually tell people that I am experiencing an attack. This is huge! I used to just get more and more freaked out and I didn't know why and the people around me wouldn't know what was going on, which freaked me out more.
The one thing that will change the course of the panic attack for me is to stop and breathe.
If I can get that one breath then I can start the process of reversing all the biological changes that accompany my panic attack.
The very next thing I need to do is turn inward. Panic comes from some fear. It could be irrational and usually is, but it is based on something, usually deep down within me.
In the beginning, this step was really hard because there was a part of me that wanted the panic. I'm not sure why. I don't like the feeling of it or losing control like that.
Also, while I am trying to undo the panic there is a negative loop playing in my head that is so not productive. But we are taught in meditation that just ignoring the monkeys in our minds is never going to happen.
These fears are a part of us, they are there because we created them through events or things we decided were part of our belief system.
To ignore them makes them stronger. To try and know and understand what they are trying to convey to us makes them an ally.
Sometimes the fears that lie in us are valid but many times they are irrational. Even though they are irrational, they are a part of you that is afraid of something, and just ignoring them will only continue the cycle.
This part can take years or days depending on the fear but adding meditation to your self-care routine can help immensely by creating a ritual of being able to calm yourself down.
And it all begins with a breath.
When I was panicking about cleaning up my knitting from the basement it took some serious introspection and listening to my inner voice to realize what it was that I was so scared of.
See an irrational fear looks like this, mice defecated on my stuff and their poop can be toxic and kill me. I don't want to die, therefore I will never go back down in the basement.
There is a truth to this. The hantavirus, which I wrote about in this post, is dangerous and often deadly.
So, I had a talk with my fear about how could we both be happy here? I was listening and I understood the danger. To just dismiss the issue would keep me having a sense of dread every time I went down in the basement.
I came up with a solution that worked for my fear as well as me. I would always wear a mask, I do that all the time anyway right? I would always wear gloves and clean up all the areas with a disinfectant that would kill the virus. I would be cautious and throw away all the things that were defecated on even if they were precious to me.
I would take my time and treat each area like it had the virus even if it is rare in this area of the country.
The pandemic gave me a lot of practice with this mindset. We do a lot of things that people think are unnecessary until they became necessary. We thought it would be easier to do them all along and make them part of our routine than to only do them when things get really bad.
So it is with the basement. I am cautious and keep to the deal that I made with myself and there has been no panic about the basement since and I have been able to clean and organize and throw things away.
I am really proud of not only being able to understand what my inner self was trying to convey but to move beyond it in a positive way.
I never would have come to this point without meditation. It allowed me to step back and see things differently. It allowed me the moment I needed to take a breath. It allowed me to cultivate peace and harmony within me that I can now reach for when I start to panic.
Meditation changed my entire being.
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In the nineteenth century, knitting was prescribed to women as a cure for nervousness and hysteria. Many new knitters find this sort of hard to believe because, until you get good at it, knitting seems to cause those ailments.
― Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, At Knit's End: Meditations for Women Who Knit Too Much
All jokes aside, knitting, crochet, weaving, and other fiber arts are all at their core very meditative. They promote mindfulness by focusing your mind on creating a specific pattern, usually through repetition of stitches or a repeat.
Here are a few ways of promoting mindfulness when knitting:
Pause, take a breath. You can do this in the beginning. You can do this between rows. It doesn't matter when you do it as long as your breath is part of the session. I like to remind myself at the beginning of each row to breathe. If the rows are really long I might do it at each repeat.
Create a goal, affirmation, or intention for the session. This could be as simple as I want to complete two rows or as deep as with each stitch I release a little of my stress. I like to make a mantra which is just a string of words that have meaning to me that one repeats over and over like, "breathe in, a sheep in the sun, we are all connected." This is my way of being one with the originator of my fiber, the sheep. The sheep took in air from the sky, fire from the sun, water from the rain, and grass from the earth. In connecting to the sheep, I am connecting to nature itself.
Do not rush, this isn't the time to finish that project that is due tomorrow. This is a time where every stitch is created with a purpose, with love, or whatever positive emotion you are bringing into your session. If you only have so much time, set a timer. Don't look or worry about the clock, it doesn't exist right now, only the now exists.
Do not judge yourself harshly for making a mistake. Mistakes happen. Dropped stitches happen. You can look on my sidebar > over there under fixes for a few ways to be ready for these things should they happen.
Invite in elements that you find relaxing like a certain tea, calming music, or that special chair.
Work with fibers that delight the senses. I love soft wools that are vibrant and have good stitch definition. I love watching colors change and dance between my fingers. I love a fiber that feels buttery soft and slides between my fingers.
Use tools that you enjoy. I love smooth beautiful needles. I have an array of colored woods that I use that are just a delight to work with. The stitches stay put enough that they don't get all willy nilly but still glide enough that they are fluid.
Maybe this is the time to use that special stitch marker your good friend gave you or some other meaningful gadget or gizmo that holds a place in your heart but yet is hardly used.
Or add elements that make you happy and bring you joy to your kitting time. There is no one way or one right way. Everyone is different. Find what works for you.
Until next time, Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate.
and...Happy Crafting!
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Safe socially-distanced hugs 🤗
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Sending love and light to everyone being affected by this virus.
May you be safe.
May your loved ones be safe.
🙏
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Sending love and light to everyone facing discrimination, hate, prejudice, inequality, or racism.
🙏🙏💖💖🙏🙏
