With the two little tops completed, I find myself once again immersed in one of Kathy's cherished projects. She began weaving a blanket adorned with delicate pink and white hearts—a perfect reflection of this season, where love blooms and Valentine's Day fills the air with warmth and connection. It seems only fitting to work on something that embodies a Mother’s heart, representing love, healing, and nurturing.
My own journey of the heart has taken me through a labyrinth of healing over many years, seeking a sense of worthiness and inner peace. I’ve consciously released the burdens I once clung to, recognizing that they were untruths that only served to hinder my spirit. In this process, I have reframed the distortions of past experiences that became false narratives—wounds that carved deeply into me.
In a recent moment of reflection, I chose to honor my efforts by rewarding myself for overcoming challenges. For so long, I struggled with receiving. I often felt like a burden to others—a thought that weighed heavily on my heart. When a dear friend happily offered to help me untangle some embroidery thread, I found myself questioning, “Why would I put her through this?”
But then, a profound insight came my way: “The Universe is not stingy. We are. Some of us compel ourselves to hold tightly, not just in how we treat others but fundamentally in how we treat ourselves.” It struck me like a gentle whisper of the Spirit, urging me to open my clenched hands, heart, and mind.
That night, as I penned a mindful journal entry, the essence of my reflections blossomed: “Being open to mutual generosity cultivates deeper connections and reinforces the bonds we share. Embracing the kindness of others enriches the fabric of our relationships, allowing both sides to flourish in the abundance of giving and receiving.”
This revelation illuminated a corner of my mind that I had never considered before. I found joy in extending help to others—but I had failed to recognize that they too experience joy when offering assistance to me. The community I hold dear in my heart somehow felt exclusive of me, an ironic twist that only fueled my internal struggle. Those two messages resonated deeply within me, igniting a spark of transformation.
As the dawn broke, I embraced a new perspective. I began accepting help with grace when it was offered and learned to ask for assistance without the nagging fear of being a bother. It’s not an easy path, and while I’m not an expert, I continue to strive for growth.
The most challenging aspect has been prioritizing myself—understanding that nurturing my joy is as sacred as guiding others on their journeys. My “me time” has evolved from a mere pause into a sacred ritual filled with joy and curiosity. The rewards I give to myself are treasures: a long spiritual bath illuminated by flickering candles and fragrant incense; snuggling up with a book whose pages have yearned for my touch; each reward weaving deeper meaning into my journey.
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| Pattern: Quintet Shawlette and Yarn: Anzula Squishy Skiens, Autumn Leaves |
My latest gift to myself is working with yarn lovingly provided by my daughter, who saw it and felt it resonated with my essence. Its softness feels divine in my hands. I’ve discovered a perfect pattern for mini skeins and eagerly anticipate the dance of color changes. The mosaic stitch feels like a joyful meditation, a creative expression that encourages exploration without full commitment, unlike traditional Fair Isle, where both yarns must be carried across.
Through each stitch and each act of self-love, I weave not only a blanket but a tapestry of transformation, a testament to embracing not just the heart of a mother but the sacred love of the universe that flows abundantly when we open ourselves to it.
Happy Crafting 🧶
Bright Blessings!
Ruinwen
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