Sunday, January 26, 2014

Walking With Spirit



This is the new elemental shrine I designed in Minecraft.  My son helped me create in the creative world to figure stuff out and now I am building it in my home world.

I'm not so good at the building of stuff.  My son, my sister and my hubby make the most amazing structures. In fact my hubby built me a house after I gave him my ideas, and it looks fantastic.  My sister would say that I just need practice; but I think you either have an eye for how these things flow together or you don't...and I don't.

But that isn't really important here because I wanted to do something to honor spirit in my game and this is my creation as I saw it in my head.  My Dad always said that he made a "joyful noise" unto the Lord because he couldn't really carry a tune.  But his heart carried in his song and that made it beautiful.  So this is my heart in blocks making a little place to honor spirit within my game; it is beautiful because my light shines through it as well as a lot of glowstone.  :)

Walking with spirit is as easy as that...making a place and or a time to devote to the stillness and just...be there.

It doesn't have to be a grandiose gesture; a word of blessing before you start your day, a word of thanks for the blessings at a meal and an attitude of gratitude at the close of the day for all the beautiful things you saw and did in another wonderful day on Earth.

Your way of walking with spirit may be to honor the house that you live in by doing laundry or cleaning something.  Maybe you honor spirit by cooking a meal for your family to provide nurturing and nourishment. Being with your family in a joyful way and just enjoying their presence in your life honors spirit.   There are endless ways to honor spirit and most of them are just being loving, kind, compassionate and considerate of your fellow man.

A smile may brighten someone's day.  A hug can warm someone's heart...and lower their blood pressure! An act of kindness has ripples that continue long after your part is over.  One person can make a difference just by letting that light in them shine out and touch others.



Another row is completed and I love this project more and more each day.  This week has been really confusing with holidays and snow closings.  When it got so cold I really didn't feel like knitting; but the minute I picked up the yarn...everything changed.  The Brava is so soft and brilliant with color that I found it easy to finish a square while watching the colors merge and change with the different accents in the blocks.

I went to the eye doctor and she said that Iris is fully formed and clearly obscuring my vision which, is the reason I haven't been knitting as much or writing full tutorials as of late.  These squares have been such a blessing to me because I can handle one a day and my eyes don't strain too much.  Not only does this give me great joy it allows me to create something special with my wonderful sister since this is a KAL.  Since we are only doing a row a week I can't push myself to do more then I can handle.  This project is just perfect in every way.

I was talking to a friend and she was saying when she got older she didn't want to lose her ability to knit.  I understand that.  Knitting is more then a craft to me; it is more like a religion that ties me to everything.  I know that I've said this before; but this is something I feel in my soul...knitting is my vocation.  My life's path is intertwined with fiber and community.  Every square connects me to my ancestors and my Patron Goddess.  Every stitch allows me to walk with Spirit.

Bright Blessings to you and yours,
Ruinwen
:)

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Ever Feel Like This?



Do you ever feel like my poor Minecraft character who was shot by skeletons?  Sometimes it just seems that there are more challenges then I can handle...but I pick myself up and go forward anyway.  I lived through that Minecraft experience and for quite a bit of time I had those arrows sticking out of me.  But did that stop my character?  No!  She hoed and farmed and did all the stuff she had to do.  She is very inspiring to me.

Because some days with the eye sensitivity and the food intolerances and all these aches and pains that I've had lately it seems like I just changed the difficulty on my life setting to "hard" or something.  But I haven't stopped and I don't plan to either.  Yes, I'm taking it easy and I'm eating what I'm supposed to and blinking every 10 minutes and such; but it just feels more challenging lately.



I have been keeping to my 5 squares a week on Hue Shift.  Now you can start to see why I fell in love with this beautiful melding of colors.  My sisters is equally lovely just more jeweled toned and rich while mine is happy giddy rainbows of color.



Since I am only knitting 5 squares since this is a KAL with my sister, I have been making these as well. Zoom Looming is quite easy and addictive and I can make a few squares here and there and soon I will have a whole bunch of them.  I do the weaving more on feel then sight, but that is how I've been doing a lot of my crafting lately.  I can close my eyes and knit a row and my fingers can feel when the tension is wrong because I split a stitch or missed a stitch or whatever might be "off" in the row.

My friend who can't knit right now asked me to help with finishing her projects and this has been an ongoing thing I have been doing for her.  I have another one but it will take me a long time and I will only do a little at a time.  My friend knows this and she is totally okay with that because a row here and there actually makes progress, even if it is slow.  If it sits in her knit basket it will remain undone forever.  There is a lesson there...slow progress is better then no progress.

My MIL wants another Nana Cowl which, is just wonderful.  She wanted a warmer version this time so I chose this.  It is a blend of silk and merino and sounds just yummy.  I can't wait to work with it.  :)

I'm not rushing things.  I'm taking my time.  When I need to stop I rest a bit but I'm not giving up and arrows or not...I'm just going to keep going forward one step at a time.

Happy crafting and many hugs,
Ruinwen
:)


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Illusions



This is a view from Minecraft.  When I look down from this height I get a knot in the pit of my stomach just like it was a real vista.  I've been working through this imaginary fear that feels so real by testing my limits and building over chasms.  Each time I get too close to the edge that shiver of fear runs through me as if it was a real experience.

When we watched some very real spiders on the big screen they really disturbed me and my sister (bless the Goddess for her) held my hand.  Normally I love spiders.  I could even deal with the Harry Potter ones...even in the game when you can feel them coming with the vibration of your controller...but these...nope...no way.  I was actually afraid of these spiders.  If you know me, you know that I love spiders and take them outside instead of killing them.  So why was I afraid of the spiders on the big screen?

The truth of the matter is that fear is an illusion.  You could say my fear of heights keeps me safe from dangerous heights but that would not be the truth.  When we went to Diamond Head in Hawaii years ago, you hiked up a bunch of stairs until you got to this little (and that is being generous) pitch black tunnel that you climbed up to emerge on top of a rock face that overlooked everything.  And I did it.  I faced every fear and did it.  And there was no fence around this rock face; it was truly one of the most exhilarating and terrifying moments of my life.

I have quite a few totally irrational fears and while they feel real to me, they really are just illusions. I am afraid of cranes; not the birds but the big metal construction types.  Why?  Rationally...they have heavy stuff that they haul around and it could drop it...on me.  But that is silly.  Yet, I see a crane in the distance and I get that feeling in my stomach.  Now tell me what purpose does this silly fear serve?

I am afraid of T-Rex and velociraptors.  I have had nightmares about a T-Rex for as long as I can remember...probably back to my Krofft Superstar days and Land of the Lost...yeah go back in your Way Back Machine for that one.  Will I ever face a real T-Rex?  Golly I hope not; but really yeah that would be a resounding "no."  Yet I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see one.  Go figure.

So fears can be totally irrational and you would think I could desensitize myself from them if they are truly illusions but that isn't the case.  Instead I face them head on and still get the heebie jeebies every time.  But that is the trick; face them and embrace them but don't let them stop you from something you really want to do.

Truth is I am always afraid of doing something wrong or saying something wrong and sometimes it just overwhelms me into an abyss of doubt; and doubt can eat away at your soul.  I need to work through it the way I face cranes, T-Rex and heights.  I need to see it for what it is, an illusion.

The thing about illusions is they are as real as you perceive them to be.  You can allow them power or banish their power.  You can be in control of them or let them control you.

Is this easy?  No, yes, sometimes...maybe.

I guess in many ways fear is like happiness...maybe the flip side of the coin if you will.  Happiness is not tangible it is an illusion as well.  It is a choice we make for one reason or another.  It is the squee that comes out of nowhere when we see something that induces a happy reaction.



This is another row and it makes me happy.  It may or may not make you feel happy.  But it fills me with colorful...frog singing rainbow happiness.  And this bubbly feeling of good will that shimmers through me is just as uncontrollable as the fear that shivers through me.  It is just as much an illusion and feels just as real.

So what is the point of today's post.  This was a week of facing some dark fears and I learned a few things. While fear is an illusion, it feels real.  And to deny that reality is to deny whatever the fear is trying to show you; so embrace it and walk through it and keep on going.  If you can only go so far; know that you accomplished something and don't beat yourself up about it.

If you can't find your happy place because your fears are too strong then you have to make one.  While this may seem hard when you are in your fearful state; remember fears and happiness are all illusions. Sometimes the only way to be happy is to fake it until it happens.  Maybe keep a mantra of happy things that make you smile, Google happy pictures, read happy stories and try to embrace moments of happiness.




This world is full of beautiful things you just have to find yours as I keep searching for mine.  Happiness builds on itself and is easy to share with others.




Where ever you find your happy place isn't important...everyone has a different path...just be true to yours.

Hugs and happy thoughts coming your way,
Ruinwen
:)

BTW:  The texture pack I am using for the Minecraft shot is this.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

A Sheep of a Different Color



Hi.  I know I missed a few weeks so I hope you had a Happy and Beautiful holiday season.  This year was different but it was nice to hang with my family.

I know you think that Minecraft swallowed me whole...and to an extent you are right.  My wonderful family let me use the world I had started and they all joined me there.  My sister gave me the gift of an account and a plush creeper and it has been so much fun to share this experience with them.

Above you will see my pen of absolute cuteness.  These are my colored sheep.  When you harvest their wool it retains its color...so crafters...this is the ultimate dream.  Every color...snip...block o'wool. Somewhere in our landscape, I am going to make a huge blanket one day.  :)

One of my friends gave me the Hue Shift Afghan and I gave my sister one as well...so we are working it block by block. A block is all I can manage these days. My eye has been so light sensitive after the PVD. It is like a knife in my eye socket. Everything is a bit harder to do.

I want to knit this blanket.  I want to see the colors merge and change.  So, I will take my time and just do what I can with no worries or negative inner voices.  As you can see I did manage to craft a row of squares.  I really am loving this yummy yarn.

A little snicker is in my head as I realize I could recreate this blanket with my color fantastic sheep in Minecraft.  :)  BTW Minecraft with its even level of light doesn't hurt my eyes.  They don't blur out the way they are doing now as I type this on this bright white background. Minecraft has actually been my saving grace because I can feel productive and part of something.

In the real world I feel challenged all the time.  Even with my knitting which I know like the back of my hand, I keep asking myself if I am doing it right.  I feel like I'm floundering with every stitch.  The zen feeling is  hard to maintain.

I find it easier to let my muscle memory take over and trust in my inner spirit which is connected to my ancestors, guides and teachers.  My hands have made hundreds of thousands of stitches and they remember. Just like I can close my eyes and type and the words appear without me having to see them.

I feel that there are many lessons to this new condition of mine that I need to step outside of my box to really "see".

The truth is that I am blessed in so many ways.  We all have challenges that we face each and every day; the trick is to continue to enjoy each and every day despite these challenges...at least in that, I can truly say I excel.

Simple things have always made me smile.  Hugs...cuddling...purring cats...rainbows...soft fuzzy things...the sound of rain and thunder...the ocean...butterfly kisses...shiny things...static under the covers...flowers...changing leaves...the smell of rosemary or thyme...good energy...happy people...these are just a few of my favorite things.  Even the list has me smiling.

Hugs and happy crafting,
Ruinwen
:)